AIBU to be upset that friend told me I couldn’t get pregnant before her wedding?

[LilyPad11]

My best friend is getting married next December and has asked me and another of our childhood friends to be bridesmaids.

To provide a bit of context I had a really traumatic late miscarriage in august which DF knew about, and I was always open about wanting to TTC again once me and my husband were ready. Fast forward to now and DF asked me to be bridesmaid last week which I was so happy about. I was talking to her today about being worried we would not conceive again or suffer another MC and her only reply was ‘you are not allowed to get pregnant before the wedding, I will be really angry with you’

The wedding is still a year away and I really don’t want to put our TTC plans on hold for that long but I feel like now if I do get pregnant it will be overshadowed by the feeling of disappointing my DF. I really don’t want any bad feelings around this potential pregnancy as I will be so lucky just to carry a healthy baby and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that happiness.

Sorry for the essay but basically AIBU to feel really upset about this situation?

Why do people fixate on Christmas Day so much. Just make Boxing Day the family day as your sister will be back. It’s just a one day delay. I’m divorced and when my kids were at their Dads for any special occasion I just celebrated with them the day after or the day before. Tell your mum she can have 2 Christmas Days. One with you sister when she’s back and one with you when you’re back

Sorry ignore my post above - wrong thread 😤

There’s always one or two. I’ve yet to see a 100%. I always think it’s just those liking to be contrary for the sake of it. Hopefully.

Of course as all are saying. So sorry for your loss. Absolutely crack on when you’re ready and good luck( I’ve been there). Xx

I think she sounds like the friend who would get deep pleasure out of ‘getting pregnant first’… then saying ‘ooh hurry up and get pregnant so we can be on a maternity leave together’…. Knowing full well the problems OP has had

The percentage of people saying you’re unreasonable probably agree with your friend….. one of my old friends told her sister she couldn’t get pregnant before her wedding… then moaned constantly because she did fall pregnant and was annoyed that (in her opinion) everyone for the rest of her days would look at her wedding photos and say ‘oh yeah, Sarah was pregnant with Alice then!’…
The reality is, that the wedding album usually gets put in the back of your wardrobe rarely to be seen again!
I REALLY HOPE your friend was just joking… but I’d just tell her if you’re pregnant enough to be big on the day then you’ll drop out of being a bridesmaid to save her the hassle of dress adjustments. …. Or just order baggy! X good luck TTC… don’t delay, I hope you conceive and have a healthy baby soon x

Walk away from the Bridesmaid role. The sooner the better just explain that given your circumstances and her views on TTC you do not feel like you can fulfil the role to her requirements. Thank her for the opportunity but the NOT TTC is NOT an option for you.

So sorry for your loss and good luck in TTC

I went to a hen do where one of the bridesmaid’s was pregnant. This was then factored in to the choice of dress for the bridesmaid. On the day of the wedding she looked lovely with her baby bump and it didn’t detract from the bride in anyway or the other bridesmaids.

@LilyPad11 it can be done. And your friend should be willing to accept you however you are.

wishing you success TTC

@Grrrrdarling I hear you.
I'm disabled and have no contact with any of my family.
I have 2 friends I'm close with that's it.
I'm the same I don't think toxic people have any right to be in my life.
People who think they can run your life the way ops friend has should be shown the door. And told not to cone back.
She deserves better friends.

You have a good Christmas and stay strong.
X