Page 3 | To think my mate is shit?

LosAmigos · 2022-11-26T10:08:08+00:00

I see my best friend regularly. He is very busy with work and everything else and we were supposed to be meeting up soon to do an activity but as he was so busy, I suggested that we can postpone until things get a little bit less busy for him after the new year. He agreed. I was disappointed, but these things happen. We were texting yesterday when he drops into conversation that he has a date coming up in a few weeks. Now, I'm a little bit pissed that he has time for someone he has never met before, but not me. I expressed this to him and he thinks i'm being silly. We have very close relationship and speak everyday. AIBU to be pissed off at him?

Brokenunicorn · 26/11/2022 14:13

Just read the massive drip feed. You're in trouble. This isn't going to go away.

Hummingbird11 · 26/11/2022 14:16

Norriscolesbag · 26/11/2022 14:10

This is so sad but fantastic advice, please take it OP.

Hummingbird11 - 💐

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Norriscolesbag - thank you xx

HeckyPeck · 26/11/2022 14:17

I agree with others re telling him how you feel.

There's nothing to lose at this point.

If he doesn't feel the same way, at least you'll know where you stand and will have the chance to move on and find someone who does feel the same.

thelobsterquadrille · 26/11/2022 14:17

I'm sure you've posted about this before. If not, it was an almost identical scenario.

Why are you still torturing yourself?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 26/11/2022 14:19

You suggested that you postpone! I'd be pissed off if someone cancelled me to do something with someone else but you made the suggestion and he agreed.

Wishawisha · 26/11/2022 14:30

Oh OP 😞

He’s not being a shit friend by going on a date but equally YANBU to feel the way you do.

JayJayYoYo · 26/11/2022 14:30

He’s not interested and is doing all he can to let you know.

Wishawisha · 26/11/2022 14:32

Have you posted about him before? This sounds so similar to an OP I read maybe a month ago. The OP was living near her friend and he was divorced I think and they helped each other out with childcare a lot?

PatientZorro · 26/11/2022 14:33

Aah bad luck OP, that’s really hard. I think you should tell him and let the cards fall as they will.

Either way, I don’t think your close platonic relationship will be helping you I’m afraid.

JinglingXmasbells · 26/11/2022 14:36

Your first post is disingenuous. Unless your other post is a leg-pull.

Which is the truth?

You seem to be saying you have a crush on a bloke. He doesnt know and you are peeved he is dating.

You can't love someone you have never really dated because all you have done is relate to each other as friends- not lovers.

Either you step right back and assume that if he wanted a romantic relationship with you, he'd show his hand, or you tell him you have feeling for him (and face rejection.)

RoyKeaneisRight · 26/11/2022 14:37

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 10:22

Thanks everyone.

I am jealous about his date. I'm in love with him and he doesn't know. I am definitely not his type so can never tell him.

I feel really sad.

Ah ha, the real reason comes out. Either tell him or be happy for him. Stop being mean because he has a life that isn't all about you.

Amtheyest17 · 26/11/2022 14:42

I have only skimmed the post but I agree with you OP! I think it is shitty behaviour tbh. I have a friend who constantly cancels on all of her friends because she isn’t in a great place but always finds time to go on dates. I do understand the other side of it, that she wants to find someone and I respect that’s important BUT ultimately she is letting us down constantly and I find it a bit of a smack in the face after years of friendship to be in some ways passed over for someone who she doesn’t know so I totally get where you’re coming from. But that’s just me, tbh I probs put my friends before my OH quite a lot - to me they were there before him and they would be there after him so that’s where I invest a lot of love & time! Also P.S Tell him - I’ve also done this a couple of times and neither time did it go in my favour but I don’t regret it!

Fannyann0 · 26/11/2022 14:43

@fdgdfgdfgdfg being jealous is an emotion its totally normal. Its what you do with jealousy but it's not absolutely not abnormal to feel jealous or envious.

You are are really sticking the boot in here OP has admitted that she feels jealous herself it's OTT that you are calling her possesive though is there any need?

thelobsterquadrille · 26/11/2022 14:43

Amtheyest17 · 26/11/2022 14:42

I have only skimmed the post but I agree with you OP! I think it is shitty behaviour tbh. I have a friend who constantly cancels on all of her friends because she isn’t in a great place but always finds time to go on dates. I do understand the other side of it, that she wants to find someone and I respect that’s important BUT ultimately she is letting us down constantly and I find it a bit of a smack in the face after years of friendship to be in some ways passed over for someone who she doesn’t know so I totally get where you’re coming from. But that’s just me, tbh I probs put my friends before my OH quite a lot - to me they were there before him and they would be there after him so that’s where I invest a lot of love & time! Also P.S Tell him - I’ve also done this a couple of times and neither time did it go in my favour but I don’t regret it!

But he didn't cancel on her, she cancelled on him by offering to postpone!

TigerRag · 26/11/2022 14:49

Amtheyest17 · 26/11/2022 14:42

I have only skimmed the post but I agree with you OP! I think it is shitty behaviour tbh. I have a friend who constantly cancels on all of her friends because she isn’t in a great place but always finds time to go on dates. I do understand the other side of it, that she wants to find someone and I respect that’s important BUT ultimately she is letting us down constantly and I find it a bit of a smack in the face after years of friendship to be in some ways passed over for someone who she doesn’t know so I totally get where you’re coming from. But that’s just me, tbh I probs put my friends before my OH quite a lot - to me they were there before him and they would be there after him so that’s where I invest a lot of love & time! Also P.S Tell him - I’ve also done this a couple of times and neither time did it go in my favour but I don’t regret it!

Maybe the OPs friend didn't have time when he was asked and things have changed?

Amtheyest17 · 26/11/2022 14:53

Ahhh as I said I skimmed it and just went back and read properly. I thought he had cancelled. My bad! @TigerRag @thelobsterquadrille

Original poster

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 15:27

Oh, I don't think he's a shit because he doesn't fancy me, not at all.

I do think that planning something with me, then him saying he's not sure about it now as he has a lot on, so I told him we can leave it til after the new year and him agreeing, yet then he has a date in a few weeks. He's not too busy for that, is he? So I think he's a shit for that.

OP posts:

TigerRag · 26/11/2022 15:28

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 15:27

Oh, I don't think he's a shit because he doesn't fancy me, not at all.

I do think that planning something with me, then him saying he's not sure about it now as he has a lot on, so I told him we can leave it til after the new year and him agreeing, yet then he has a date in a few weeks. He's not too busy for that, is he? So I think he's a shit for that.

His life doesn't revolve around you.

Original poster

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 15:30

Amtheyest17 · 26/11/2022 14:42

I have only skimmed the post but I agree with you OP! I think it is shitty behaviour tbh. I have a friend who constantly cancels on all of her friends because she isn’t in a great place but always finds time to go on dates. I do understand the other side of it, that she wants to find someone and I respect that’s important BUT ultimately she is letting us down constantly and I find it a bit of a smack in the face after years of friendship to be in some ways passed over for someone who she doesn’t know so I totally get where you’re coming from. But that’s just me, tbh I probs put my friends before my OH quite a lot - to me they were there before him and they would be there after him so that’s where I invest a lot of love & time! Also P.S Tell him - I’ve also done this a couple of times and neither time did it go in my favour but I don’t regret it!

Thank you for getting it!

I love him so much and the hurt that he's potentially going to be dating (and loving) someone when I want him is just too much to bear!

OP posts:

noeyesbarry · 26/11/2022 15:30

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 15:27

Oh, I don't think he's a shit because he doesn't fancy me, not at all.

I do think that planning something with me, then him saying he's not sure about it now as he has a lot on, so I told him we can leave it til after the new year and him agreeing, yet then he has a date in a few weeks. He's not too busy for that, is he? So I think he's a shit for that.

well you’re wrong. HTH

Original poster

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 15:32

TigerRag · 26/11/2022 15:28

His life doesn't revolve around you.

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So he shouldn't say, "let's do xxx", which was his idea and then tell me he's not sure as he has a lot on. He has form for this TBH, but then he'll go out with his housemate when he and I should've been doing what we had planned.

OP posts:

Original poster

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 15:32

noeyesbarry · 26/11/2022 15:30

well you’re wrong. HTH

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You're nice.

OP posts:

Crimsonripple · 26/11/2022 15:33

I'm sorry but he's just not that interested in you x

FamKeNekson · 26/11/2022 15:33

God how awful,stop seeing him move on and find happiness. This is neither a friendship or a potential relationship.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 26/11/2022 15:34

LosAmigos · 26/11/2022 15:27

Oh, I don't think he's a shit because he doesn't fancy me, not at all.

I do think that planning something with me, then him saying he's not sure about it now as he has a lot on, so I told him we can leave it til after the new year and him agreeing, yet then he has a date in a few weeks. He's not too busy for that, is he? So I think he's a shit for that.

It's perfectly fine and normal for dating to be part of his 'having a lot on'
hes single and presumably wants to find a partner and there is no reason why he should prioritise seeing you above that. It's your feelings making you feel this way. It's probably for the best to have a break from him.