Is this a reasonable amount of ‘jobs’ for a maid of honour?
sorenlorenson1 · 26/11/2022 01:00
I’ve been asked by a close friend (since childhood) to be maid of honour at her wedding, this September.
She asked me last weekend, they had only announced their engagement a few days prior, but I immediately said yes and was happy to have been asked… however, I either am completely naive as to what I’ve let myself in for and this is the norm to expect from a maid of honour… OR it’s not the norm and is OTT…
Today, we spoke about the upcoming wedding in more detail.
Friend said ‘well obviously, you will be in charge of organising the hen weekend. I will send you the details of my friends you don’t know.’ (So 25 in total. 10 of these are mutual friends. The others I haven’t met or have met briefly.)
‘you will be in charge of organising the dress fittings for all bridesmaids. (11 adult bridesmaids. 2 flower girls aged 7/9) I’ll give you a list of Saturdays to pick from.’
‘I’ll be buying a gift for each bridesmaid but if I tell you what to get, you can order them and sort out as I won’t have the time to do it.’
’Help me pick a photographer / videographer. You can decide out of a few we both choose. I will trust your judgment on that obviously.’
’organise the flowers. I will send you some examples. So all you have to do is have a look at a few florists and their reviews, prices… and then just go from there.’
’I’ve got someone to do the hair but not the make up. I probably won’t have the money to be honest for make up. But on the day if you start early, you can do the make up for everyone.’
’if you’ve got the time, can you sort out some wedding favours for the table. Maybe make something.’
‘Keep an eye on the flower girls on the day. Their mums won’t be with them so need to keep them happy!’
‘After the best man speech, I will let you do one obviously.’
that’s everything she can think of ‘so far.’ 😭
I have never been a bridesmaid, let alone maid of honour… I did expect to have some input with the hen do… but the rest feels like she’s expecting me to be a wedding planner. 😐
I should definitely mention that I live a 3.5 hour drive away (I moved away from my home city 8 years ago.)
I love my friend dearly, and have always felt it to be a very equal friendship, despite the physical distance between us now. But I think she’s thinking that I have a LOT of spare time, due to not working.
But I have four children, one of them is severely disabled and requires round the clock care (hence I’m on mumsnet at 1am) and I don’t want to commit to every single thing, if I’m not able to deliver, due to being exhausted or in hospital with my son.
My OH says it sounds reasonable and most
of these things I can organise easily enough from my phone…. What’s the verdict here??
is this expected of a MOH?
would I be unreasonable to say I can’t / don’t want to take responsibility for all of the above?
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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Pinkfluff76 · 29/11/2022 11:42
Holy fuck is this some kind of bad joke?! She’s basically making you plan her wedding AND do the make up and MAKE wedding favours. This is honestly one of the most entitled, selfish and cheap things I’ve ever heard. She’s being so beyond ridiculous I can’t even put it into words.
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