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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shamima Begum's mother

583 replies

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 14:48

I read an article about Shamima Begum's mother in the Daily Mail. I am very much in the camp that Shamima Begum should come back to the UK and be trialed here as her crimes.

Anyway, the mother says how close she was with Shamima and how she misses her etc.

If I were Shamima Begum's mum and my daughter was not allowed into the UK, I would travel to the refugee camp to be with her. Or, I would take my daughter to Bangladesh just to be with her and not leave her on her own.

I don't understand why Shamima Begum's mum takes no action to support her daughter!

OP posts:
xogossipgirlxo · 24/11/2022 15:07

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 14:56

I think it's a horrible place to be for a mum. But I can't imagine being away from my 15 year old and then having the option to travel to see her and not do it. Journalists and lawyers are travelling there.

Isn't she now 20 something?

Quveas · 24/11/2022 15:07

I am very much in the camp that Shamima Begum should come back to the UK and be trialed here as her crimes.

As a matter of interest, exactly what crimes should she be tried for in the UK??? When she left UK jurisdiction she was 15, had been radicalised and was trafficked into Syria. That makes her a victim. Whether she then committed crimes in Syria or not, and the circumstances of those possible crimes committed in a foreighn country, I do not know, because I do not have enough unbiased facts or evidence to comment. But I am quite certain that the UK has no jurisdiction in Syria and therefore has no legal authority to try any crimes allegedly committed there.

I am far more interested though in the fact that a Commonwealth country with which we have close ties was apparently involved in that trafficking, and how much the UK government might have known about that. Are we quite certain that not wanting her back here is about some alluded to but not at all clear continuing risk that she may pose, or about not wanting too many questions asked about what part our own government may have played in colluding with trafficking in order to obtain intelligence? After all, if she was in the UK I cannot imagine that her activities and movements wouldn't be so closely monitored that the intelligence services wouldn't know more about her than she knows herself. Not exactly a risk that, is it?

Sparklythingsandothercrap · 24/11/2022 15:11

Her children have tragically died. She has probably broken her mother's heart and put her family through huge trauma. I don't think anyone else should endanger themselves for her at this point.

PeterUK77 · 24/11/2022 15:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sistanotcista · 24/11/2022 15:12

It's a tricky one, for sure. She was very young, and I do not completely dismiss the claim that she was trafficked. But she was also old enough to have a notion of what she was signing up for. If her mother really was that close to her did she not have an inkling of what her daughter was planning? Notwithstanding, she's British, and our problem. I don't know exactly what we could do with her, but binning her off to another country that she has never even seen isn't the answer.

peachescariad · 24/11/2022 15:14

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 14:52

Surely Shamima Begum needs some support! If all my other children were safe in the UK, I would probably want to support that one child who really needs it. Not sure how old the other children are to be honest - I assumed they were grown up.

She deserves nothing

Softplayhooray · 24/11/2022 15:15

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 14:56

I think it's a horrible place to be for a mum. But I can't imagine being away from my 15 year old and then having the option to travel to see her and not do it. Journalists and lawyers are travelling there.

I wonder if it's that easy....first off it'd be very expensive and they might not have the money, and second, it might be that there are legal implications that could get them in trouble for going. No idea really, just speculating but sounds like she misses her a lot and would be with her of she could.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 24/11/2022 15:15

I am far more interested though in the fact that a Commonwealth country with which we have close ties was apparently involved in that trafficking, and how much the UK government might have known about that

Has she actually claimed that? or is it just a claim being made to sell a book?

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/aug/31/shamima-begum-smuggled-into-syria-for-islamic-state-by-canadian-spy

Sparklesocks · 24/11/2022 15:15

I think it’s very easy to say ‘I’d do this’ about a very specific situation you’ve never been in, or even close to, in your life. But the reality is very complex and the fact is you don’t really ‘know’, none of us do. We only know the story through what it has been printed in the papers - which normally have an agenda. None of us really know how the mother felt or what she went through, or how she made the choices she did.

AlexNye883 · 24/11/2022 15:15

Sistanotcista · 24/11/2022 15:12

It's a tricky one, for sure. She was very young, and I do not completely dismiss the claim that she was trafficked. But she was also old enough to have a notion of what she was signing up for. If her mother really was that close to her did she not have an inkling of what her daughter was planning? Notwithstanding, she's British, and our problem. I don't know exactly what we could do with her, but binning her off to another country that she has never even seen isn't the answer.

It's not a tricky one at all.

She's guilty of accessory to murder
Treason

At 15 we all know right from wrong.

James Bulgers killers knew what was right from wrong at age 10 and we treated them accordingly.

hugefanofcheese · 24/11/2022 15:16

Why don't you talk us through how you'd make your way to a refugee camp in Syria, OP? One of the most bone-headed posts I think I've read on here, if I'm honest.

Manekinek0 · 24/11/2022 15:17

Ah yes I'm sure her mother doesn't have rent or a mortgage and can just take extended holiday from work to stay with her ADULT daughter.

DameHelena · 24/11/2022 15:19

You'd go to some hellhole refugee camp in a basket-case country, aye?
Or Bangladesh, where you could both easily be executed?

You don't seem to know what you're on about.

LisaJool · 24/11/2022 15:20

What an odd idea. Who is going to fund her to up sticks and live by choice in this refugee camp? She has been separated from her daughter for years already.

GregariousGregory · 24/11/2022 15:20

I don't think Bangladesh would want Shamima and I think once your daughter has gone away for this many years and has done what Shamima has done (notwithstanding the role grooming and brainwashing has had on her) and the media and public coverage and opinion of her.. you just don't see her as just your daughter anymore. She's changed so much. It's bitter sweet when people talk as if parental love is unconditional.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 24/11/2022 15:20

SirMingeALot · 24/11/2022 15:00

Are you quite sure people can just turn up?

This. It's not Center Parcs, Op.

RosieRooster83 · 24/11/2022 15:21

If it was me, I wouldn't have any inclination to travel to be with my daughter in this scenario. To be honest, I probably wouldn't want anything to do with her.

fairgame84 · 24/11/2022 15:22

Seriously?
I'm pretty sure you can't just rock up with your suitcase at a refugee camp and chose to live there when you're not a refugee.
Didn't Bangladesh say Shamima wouldn't be welcome there?

Xenia · 24/11/2022 15:22

Because of what her daughter did the grandmother lost three grandchildren. I put that on SB's head. The UK would not pay to get me out of jail in Braxil i s I were jailed there so I don't see why we should use tax payers' money to bring SB to the UK when the British courts have very clearly held her entitlement to Bangladeshi citizenship means they were right to withhold her British passport.

NCFT0922 · 24/11/2022 15:24

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 14:52

Surely Shamima Begum needs some support! If all my other children were safe in the UK, I would probably want to support that one child who really needs it. Not sure how old the other children are to be honest - I assumed they were grown up.

I can think of a lot of things she needs. Support doesn’t top the list.

ShimmeringShirts · 24/11/2022 15:25

How do you propose she gets to the refugee camp? Shamima is detained there, she is essentially imprisoned. She’s not there for the hell of it, she can’t travel to another country, she has no right to leave the refugee camp and they’re not about to detain her mother in it either.

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/11/2022 15:25

My dd is almost the same age as Shamima when she and her friends left. I am sure her mum desperately wants to see her. I couldn’t imagine my dd leaving in this way and not seeing her for so long. It wouldn’t be safe for a her mum to travel there.

I don’t get it. Virginia Guiffre, who was 17, and many other teens as old or older than 15 are seen as exploited and trafficked, even the ones, who find other girls for their abusers. Yet a 15 yo school girl, who was groomed online has her citizenship removed. I do struggle to see the difference between her and the girls abused in the Rochdale scandal.

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 15:25

I know that SB is 23, I was only making a point that her DM had not seen her since she was 15. It's just incredibly sad. Did SB know what she was getting into at 15? I very much doubt so... She was groomed. She was just a child.

OP posts:
Quveas · 24/11/2022 15:26

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 24/11/2022 15:15

I am far more interested though in the fact that a Commonwealth country with which we have close ties was apparently involved in that trafficking, and how much the UK government might have known about that

Has she actually claimed that? or is it just a claim being made to sell a book?

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/aug/31/shamima-begum-smuggled-into-syria-for-islamic-state-by-canadian-spy

The Canadian government confirmed that this person was working for them as a double agent some time ago. They are "checking" to see whether he followed the "rules". Bit hard to explain what rule permits someone to officially smuggle aunder-age children into a foreign country where they will be at risk. She wasn't the only one remember. It would have been ever so easy to ensure that children were "accidentally" detected by the Turkish authorities and held.

I am astonished that people think that a 15 year old child - and very likely one from a rather sheltered background - is capable of making complex decisions about world affairs when, half the time, MNers children can't decide sensibly about things in their 20's and need mum and dad to sort things out. But so far the only court she has been tried in is that of the media, and they have no jurisdiction. She has been found guilty of nothing. She is currently in Syria and if she is guilty of crimes there, they show little interest in the fact because they haven't charged her with anything. As for those turning this into a benefits claimants bashing thread again, well I suppose I can't expect anything better from those who derive their opinions from the Daily Mail.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/11/2022 15:26

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 14:56

I think it's a horrible place to be for a mum. But I can't imagine being away from my 15 year old and then having the option to travel to see her and not do it. Journalists and lawyers are travelling there.

So you think Mom should travel to Syria and demand to move into a refuge camp so she can be with her 23 yo daughter?