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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shamima Begum's mother

583 replies

AddingUp · 24/11/2022 14:48

I read an article about Shamima Begum's mother in the Daily Mail. I am very much in the camp that Shamima Begum should come back to the UK and be trialed here as her crimes.

Anyway, the mother says how close she was with Shamima and how she misses her etc.

If I were Shamima Begum's mum and my daughter was not allowed into the UK, I would travel to the refugee camp to be with her. Or, I would take my daughter to Bangladesh just to be with her and not leave her on her own.

I don't understand why Shamima Begum's mum takes no action to support her daughter!

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 24/11/2022 16:09

ScrappyCats · 24/11/2022 16:01

If she was a blue eyed blonde from a middle class family, with educated parents who knew how to deal with the press - the whole situation would have been viewed differently from day one. She would have been seen as a victim who needed to be rescued.

Like Sally Jones and Jack Letts? (Though admittedly Jack wasn't blonde)

I don't recall too many suggesting either of those were victims who needed saving - except Jack's parents of course, who I believe are still under investigation themselves

DysonSpheres · 24/11/2022 16:09

FHmama · 24/11/2022 16:07

I do struggle to see the difference between her and the girls abused in the Rochdale scandal.

This is disgusting.
There's is a MASSIVE difference between young teenage girls being RAPED by grown men compared to Shamima traveling to Syria where she has justified the torture and killings of INNOCENT people - and to this day she has never expressed any remorse for her actions. She just paints herself as a victim.
How dare you compare her to young girls that were exploited and raped.

At 13/14/15 years old I could have quite easily had sex with an older man (aka RAPE) thinking he was my 'boyfriend' or that he 'loved me' and that I 'owed him something' because he was so good to me .. but I wouldn't have travelled to a terrorist organisation and happily watched people be literally beheaded and thought it was right.

Can you consent to sex at 15?

I'm not sure what the law is

Chippy1234 · 24/11/2022 16:10

However comparing this women to the girls of Rochdale is nonsense.

Have you seen the interview she gave? She wasnt sorry at all! Although on second thoughts...for all those people who feel sorry for and are making excuse after excuse for her actions. Do you have a spare room?

ancientgran · 24/11/2022 16:11

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 24/11/2022 16:01

In the absence of any trial, how do people decide on her guilt and innocence other than by what they read in the paper? (by which you mean Daily Mail, of course).

That's why she needs to come back and face a trial. Do you honestly think trial by newspaper is right? Do you remember the Christopher Jefferies case? The newspapers had him guilty of murder but he was actually innocent. That's how good justice by newspaper is.

Grumpusaurus · 24/11/2022 16:11

oakleaffy · 24/11/2022 15:30

My sympathy lies with the Yazidis
Not Shamima Begum.

This!

Fifthtimelucky · 24/11/2022 16:11

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/11/2022 15:25

My dd is almost the same age as Shamima when she and her friends left. I am sure her mum desperately wants to see her. I couldn’t imagine my dd leaving in this way and not seeing her for so long. It wouldn’t be safe for a her mum to travel there.

I don’t get it. Virginia Guiffre, who was 17, and many other teens as old or older than 15 are seen as exploited and trafficked, even the ones, who find other girls for their abusers. Yet a 15 yo school girl, who was groomed online has her citizenship removed. I do struggle to see the difference between her and the girls abused in the Rochdale scandal.

I also have a daughter the same age and I absolutely agree with this.

I think the comparison with Virginia Guiffre is a good one. Why do we feel sorry for one groomed child, but not another who was younger who (in my view) has had a much more traumatic life?

FHmama · 24/11/2022 16:12

@DysonSpheres

The legal age of consent in the U.K. is 16. So, in the case of the Rochedale victims, they were raped by these older men.

ScrappyCats · 24/11/2022 16:13

Puzzledandpissedoff · 24/11/2022 16:09

Like Sally Jones and Jack Letts? (Though admittedly Jack wasn't blonde)

I don't recall too many suggesting either of those were victims who needed saving - except Jack's parents of course, who I believe are still under investigation themselves

Sally Jones doesn’t really qualify as a child from a middle class family though, does she?!

DysonSpheres · 24/11/2022 16:13

FancyFanny · 24/11/2022 16:08

The girls in Rotherham and VG didn't commit any terrorist crimes or join a terrorist group! That's how they differ!

True question. What are the actual crimes SB has certifiably committed. (Obviously joining a terrorist organisation but what else) she got married and bred.

As opposed to joining a paedophile sex ring and grooming and recruiting younger girls?

Bananamanners · 24/11/2022 16:14

I fundamentally disagree with the passport revocation. I don't think we should be paying for her to come back to the UK, but she should be allowed in, and immediately arrested and stand trial. It may be she is always going to remain a threat to national security and will need to be imprisoned/ closely guardedly for life. I fundamentally disagree this should be Syria or Bangladesh's problem - the UK raised her, she is our problem to deal with.

I also find the decision that we were entitled to revoke her passport on the basis that she had theoretical eligibility to a Bangladeshi one really worrying. If she had been white British, with parents and grandparents born in the UK, they wouldn't have revoked. But she was the child of immigrants so they found a loop hole. Basically she wasn't British enough, despite being born and raised here.

DysonSpheres · 24/11/2022 16:14

FHmama · 24/11/2022 16:12

@DysonSpheres

The legal age of consent in the U.K. is 16. So, in the case of the Rochedale victims, they were raped by these older men.

But SB couldn't consent to sex at 15 either then.

AutumnCrow · 24/11/2022 16:15

I would most certainly like to see SB returned to the UK and tried in court.

FHmama · 24/11/2022 16:16

@DysonSpheres

I'm not disputing whether she was raped.

I'm saying you can't compare the Rochedale abuse victims to someone who joined a terrorist organisation, and to this day shows no remorse and has said those people deserved to be tortured and killed.

Blossomtoes · 24/11/2022 16:16

DysonSpheres · 24/11/2022 16:14

But SB couldn't consent to sex at 15 either then.

The age of consent is 15 in Syria where she was “married” to a Dutch guy.

dogmandu · 24/11/2022 16:17

pompomdaisy · 24/11/2022 15:28

You read in the Daily Mail. Oh well then you're a real expert aren't you? Someone who really carefully checks that what they read is from a credible source?
I'm being sarcastic by the way!

MI5 and MI6 confirms what Shamima did and said or do you think we should ask an ISIS rep what really happened?

TomTraubertsBlues · 24/11/2022 16:17

Shamina Begum has undoubtedly been made a scapegoat. There are many young men who went out not just to marry but to fight for ISIS and have since returned to the UK rather than being stripped of citizenship.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 24/11/2022 16:18

Sally Jones doesn’t really qualify as a child from a middle class family though, does she?!

No, but she was white and blonde, and the obvious implication of the post I was responding to was that Shamima is somehow uniquely disliked just because she's "brown"

Ontobetterthings · 24/11/2022 16:18

WomenShouldWinWomensSports · 24/11/2022 14:58

Why her mum? Not her dad? Why should her mum be guilted into dropping her whole life to stand by someone who stands accused of very serious things, but her dad can keep his career, his clean water, his central heating, his rights and contact with the rest of his support network?

Why is it always mums who are expected to pick up the pieces?

Very good point. Totally sexist.

DysonSpheres · 24/11/2022 16:18

FHmama · 24/11/2022 16:16

@DysonSpheres

I'm not disputing whether she was raped.

I'm saying you can't compare the Rochedale abuse victims to someone who joined a terrorist organisation, and to this day shows no remorse and has said those people deserved to be tortured and killed.

No dispute there @FHmama I agree on that.

OldFan · 24/11/2022 16:18

You don't accidentally get on a plane and travel halfway across the world on a whim.

You do hear of kids being groomed online to go and meet a paedo or whatever, thinking that it's love due to what the bloke says.

I've believed a lot of odd things in my life, so a child being radicalized by a bloke/people online is not unbelievable to me.

We don't treat under 18's crimes the same as we do those of adults.

The girls in Rotherham and VG didn't commit any terrorist crimes or join a terrorist group! That's how they differ!

Not terrorist groups, but some of them will have recruited other girls to some extent. It happens (not their fault.)

TomTraubertsBlues · 24/11/2022 16:18

Bananamanners · 24/11/2022 16:14

I fundamentally disagree with the passport revocation. I don't think we should be paying for her to come back to the UK, but she should be allowed in, and immediately arrested and stand trial. It may be she is always going to remain a threat to national security and will need to be imprisoned/ closely guardedly for life. I fundamentally disagree this should be Syria or Bangladesh's problem - the UK raised her, she is our problem to deal with.

I also find the decision that we were entitled to revoke her passport on the basis that she had theoretical eligibility to a Bangladeshi one really worrying. If she had been white British, with parents and grandparents born in the UK, they wouldn't have revoked. But she was the child of immigrants so they found a loop hole. Basically she wasn't British enough, despite being born and raised here.

I agree with this. Whether we like it or not, she is British. Britain needs to deal with its own citizens, not palm them off onto developing nations.

ancientgran · 24/11/2022 16:20

Puzzledandpissedoff · 24/11/2022 16:09

Like Sally Jones and Jack Letts? (Though admittedly Jack wasn't blonde)

I don't recall too many suggesting either of those were victims who needed saving - except Jack's parents of course, who I believe are still under investigation themselves

They were both adults when they went to Syria so not underage groomed children.

OldFan · 24/11/2022 16:20

to this day shows no remorse and has said those people deserved to be tortured and killed.

@DysonSpheres I thought she'd recanted of all of it?

TomTraubertsBlues · 24/11/2022 16:21

I agree that we can't compare her to the Rotherham victims. But we can compare her to the many, many young men who went out to fight.

Ask yourself how many of them have been stripped of citizenship. The fact is that lots (most of those who weren't killed) are back living in the UK today. Why is she different to them?

Viviennemary · 24/11/2022 16:21

The mother probably has responsibilities st home. In any case the vourts have decided she shouldnt be allowed back in the country. What is the point of her coming back here.