I've opened a brand new Nursery school - it's in a beachy, tourist destination and when I first advertised the role we had lots of amazing candidates as we were providing accommodation, great salary etc etc in a very unusual and attractive area.
I had a lady apply who was just amazing - extremely professional, very qualified, was going to relocate with her two children and was very enthusiastic about the role. Her interview went brilliantly, she passed all the checks and accepted the position. So I ended the job advert, and put some temps in place to cover her slightly longer than average notice period - expensive and time consuming (on our very limited budget) but worth it for someone so awesome.
We kept in regular contact - I went above and beyond with getting her accommodation set up perfectly, arranging pen pals in our area for her kids (it's a remote area), setting up subscriptions for her, arranging a specialist visa, getting activities that I knew her and her kids would like arranged in the area and making hampers for their arrival. Answered all her questions, helped her with all the travel and just tried to be as supportive as possible.
Day for her arrival comes..... and she doesn't show up.
I call and message, very worried (she's coming from overseas) and she tells me , in a super casual tone - oh, sorry. There was a problem with the plane. I'm going to try again tomorrow 
Ok... she'd been very professional and cooperative till now so I put it down to stress travelling with two kids etc.
Next day - I had to chase her for info whilst scrabbling around to find cover as she was meant to have started. She eventually messages back with "XYZ.... will be travelling tomorrow"
Fine, okay. I kept my frustration to myself and didn't ask too many questions.
The next day again - no info and I have to gently chase her - oh, she's going to fly half way but the kids will have to take another flight (???) so probably won't be until the weekend.
Right, okay. I didn't want to make waves, so I said "okay, keep me updated" and manically tried to find cover for the absence, paying way over the odds to fly an ex employee in to cover us for the week so we had enough staff.
Weekend comes and goes, she is giving me no updates at all. I eventually message her out of desperation (I was trying not to harass her and scare her away) and she says she's booked on tomorrow's plane.
You guessed it - no show.
I message saying I'm sorry it's been so difficult, but I'm now having major staffing issues so please can she please give me an update - silence.
This was 2 weeks ago and I've not heard a thing from her, despite me politely chasing. In short - I think she's found another job and was stringing me along until it was finalised. She had every opportunity to at least tell me, and chose to string me along knowing I was having staffing issues.
But it's absolutely left me up shit creek - I now have no Nursery Manager, and I waited over 8 weeks for her - bodging together cover.
I've readvertised but the moment has been and gone, and I'm struggling for applicants (I do have a couple that I'm processing) where before I had loads.
She's reading messages but no responding - I background checked her, reference checked. I have all her documents, I paid for a visa, accommodation etc etc and she's just disappeared.
AIBU to think this is the shittiest shittiest thing to do to a tiny, new Nursery that you know has bent over backwards for you?