to think this is the height of unprofessionalism?

[ScrawlyEmbroidery]

I've opened a brand new Nursery school - it's in a beachy, tourist destination and when I first advertised the role we had lots of amazing candidates as we were providing accommodation, great salary etc etc in a very unusual and attractive area.

I had a lady apply who was just amazing - extremely professional, very qualified, was going to relocate with her two children and was very enthusiastic about the role. Her interview went brilliantly, she passed all the checks and accepted the position. So I ended the job advert, and put some temps in place to cover her slightly longer than average notice period - expensive and time consuming (on our very limited budget) but worth it for someone so awesome.

We kept in regular contact - I went above and beyond with getting her accommodation set up perfectly, arranging pen pals in our area for her kids (it's a remote area), setting up subscriptions for her, arranging a specialist visa, getting activities that I knew her and her kids would like arranged in the area and making hampers for their arrival. Answered all her questions, helped her with all the travel and just tried to be as supportive as possible.

Day for her arrival comes..... and she doesn't show up.
I call and message, very worried (she's coming from overseas) and she tells me , in a super casual tone - oh, sorry. There was a problem with the plane. I'm going to try again tomorrow
Ok... she'd been very professional and cooperative till now so I put it down to stress travelling with two kids etc.
Next day - I had to chase her for info whilst scrabbling around to find cover as she was meant to have started. She eventually messages back with "XYZ.... will be travelling tomorrow"
Fine, okay. I kept my frustration to myself and didn't ask too many questions.
The next day again - no info and I have to gently chase her - oh, she's going to fly half way but the kids will have to take another flight (???) so probably won't be until the weekend.
Right, okay. I didn't want to make waves, so I said "okay, keep me updated" and manically tried to find cover for the absence, paying way over the odds to fly an ex employee in to cover us for the week so we had enough staff.

Weekend comes and goes, she is giving me no updates at all. I eventually message her out of desperation (I was trying not to harass her and scare her away) and she says she's booked on tomorrow's plane.
You guessed it - no show.
I message saying I'm sorry it's been so difficult, but I'm now having major staffing issues so please can she please give me an update - silence.

This was 2 weeks ago and I've not heard a thing from her, despite me politely chasing. In short - I think she's found another job and was stringing me along until it was finalised. She had every opportunity to at least tell me, and chose to string me along knowing I was having staffing issues.

But it's absolutely left me up shit creek - I now have no Nursery Manager, and I waited over 8 weeks for her - bodging together cover.
I've readvertised but the moment has been and gone, and I'm struggling for applicants (I do have a couple that I'm processing) where before I had loads.

She's reading messages but no responding - I background checked her, reference checked. I have all her documents, I paid for a visa, accommodation etc etc and she's just disappeared.

AIBU to think this is the shittiest shittiest thing to do to a tiny, new Nursery that you know has bent over backwards for you?

Sounds like dodged a bullet. If she applied via an agency I’d let them know. Could she have been using fake docs or name? It’s seems very odd I’d assume some type of scam angle to it.

Sorry this happened to you but after the first few messages I could see what was coming as I've had not too dissimilar things happen myself in recruitment.

Bullet well dodged but I can see how stressful this must be for you.

What a total c*w!! I’m so sorry

Channel Islands is my guess, beautiful area to be in.

The you need to call her and say that unless she show up for work on Monday you're going to cancel her visa.

What is the matter with people at the moment?

I was a recruiter in another industry and I would recommend you use an agency that specializes in placing childcare professionals. They will be very aware of scams and when people sound too good to be true. They can do all the initial advertising, recruiting, screening and background checks etc. They will be very familiar with what someone at the level you want should have done and the solid work history they will have, which they can check for you etc. They are already networked and may know strong candidates who are looking for a change.

You can also ask the agency itself for references and the details of employers who they have place people with recently. Make sure you do your due diligence on the agency and make sure it is very professional and experienced.

Also, unfortunately I think you need to be more hard nosed and skeptical with people you interview and recruit. You sound wonderful and were bending over backward but this is when you can be taken advantage of. Be aware that if someone seems too good to be true they usually are. That’s why working with an agency could give you that buffer where they would do the initial recruiting and screening. You could even have them screen people you find yourself. In the long run this can save you a lot of hassle, time and stress. They agency might also be able to send you someone temporarily while you jointly work on finding the best permanent employee.

Of course this will cost money, but as if you have experienced you can lose significant money and valuable time with a bad recruiting experience.

Here’s a couple (I know nothing about them, just giving you an idea)

www.everythingchildcareagency.co.uk/long-term-staffing

www.albachildcareagency.co.uk

www.agencycentral.co.uk/agencysearch/childcare/agencysearch.htm

Agreed on bullet dodged- and well done on such a lovely venture. Can you post the job advert here when you get back to re-advertising please?

I had a PA (care based) not turn up on her first day either. Went through all the interviews and she seemed so lovely and caring. A couple of days before she came to my home again to fill in paperwork, etc. Gave her the rundown for her first day which included taking me to an important hospital appointment. Tells me she has given her notice to her current job which was in a shop and was excited to begin the job.

The day of she doesn't arrive. My first reaction is worry and think perhaps she's been in an accident or something. No messages/not answering her phone.

I then get a gut feeling and phone the shop she said she'd left. She was working a shift - so had never given notice at all.

Changing her mind would have taken a two second email - instead of leaving someone she knew needed care sitting waiting for her.

Some people suck!

Honestly sounds amazing wish I could come and do your job! (Am qualified for it!)

i saw the advert for your job and remember thinking how lovely it sounded. I’m not in any position at all to apply, but I remember thinking what an amazing opportunity it would have been. I hope you find someone soon - there does seem to be a ridiculous amount of flakey employees in childcare.

I'm really intrigued now in your nursery and the role. Where are you located?

Pm her and find out about it then! I found a job on Mumsnet that I did for 5 years after a general chat thread on here!

I think, as an employer, you need to remove personal feelings from the situation. Once you've developed a relationship with employees you can let your guard down a bit, but before they even

Check with the lawyers in the country you are in as you are probably entitled to damages.
You were not naive, just wanted to solve your problems and found a bitch.

Hope you got her manager in the shop and told them th whole story.

This

Apologies, silly thing posted before I finished

Being too generous with people before you have gotten to know them will come back to bite you, as you've just found out. No one owes you loyalty or consideration for being a new business. What she has done is very shitty.

Unfortunately you have to hold back and make sure people are worth it before you give them too much.

if she was real I think the situation with her kids not having any friends would probably have changed her mind. Don’t they need to go to school? I can’t imagine how you could employ someone for this type of job with kids.

She might have travelled with your visa and continued to say "tomorrow" to ensure she didn't have problems arriving and setting up. I think I would report. Even if your visa is specific to your job place, she might have used it for entry and is now working as a live-in nanny somewhere else without papers?

Scam? She still has the visa?

I don't mean for this to come out harshly. But business is a dog eat dog World and only those who have a strong exterior survive. I totally understand you want to help those who deserve it but your business isn't currently making a profit and therefore you can afford to do that. Sometimes tough decisions need to be made and people will take advantage of your kind nature as this awful woman has done to you already

*can't afford to

I wrote her a shitty messsge and then block her. You sound like a fabulous boss.

Sorry you encountered a freak like her. Some people are just scumbags.

Next day - I had to chase her for info whilst scrabbling around to find cover as she was meant to have started. She eventually messages back with "XYZ.... will be travelling tomorrow"

This is the point in time where you advise that if she does not arrive in the next 24 hrs, the offer is withdrawn.

Good luck with your search and best of luck with the new business venture