to think this is the height of unprofessionalism?

[ScrawlyEmbroidery]

I've opened a brand new Nursery school - it's in a beachy, tourist destination and when I first advertised the role we had lots of amazing candidates as we were providing accommodation, great salary etc etc in a very unusual and attractive area.

I had a lady apply who was just amazing - extremely professional, very qualified, was going to relocate with her two children and was very enthusiastic about the role. Her interview went brilliantly, she passed all the checks and accepted the position. So I ended the job advert, and put some temps in place to cover her slightly longer than average notice period - expensive and time consuming (on our very limited budget) but worth it for someone so awesome.

We kept in regular contact - I went above and beyond with getting her accommodation set up perfectly, arranging pen pals in our area for her kids (it's a remote area), setting up subscriptions for her, arranging a specialist visa, getting activities that I knew her and her kids would like arranged in the area and making hampers for their arrival. Answered all her questions, helped her with all the travel and just tried to be as supportive as possible.

Day for her arrival comes..... and she doesn't show up.
I call and message, very worried (she's coming from overseas) and she tells me , in a super casual tone - oh, sorry. There was a problem with the plane. I'm going to try again tomorrow
Ok... she'd been very professional and cooperative till now so I put it down to stress travelling with two kids etc.
Next day - I had to chase her for info whilst scrabbling around to find cover as she was meant to have started. She eventually messages back with "XYZ.... will be travelling tomorrow"
Fine, okay. I kept my frustration to myself and didn't ask too many questions.
The next day again - no info and I have to gently chase her - oh, she's going to fly half way but the kids will have to take another flight (???) so probably won't be until the weekend.
Right, okay. I didn't want to make waves, so I said "okay, keep me updated" and manically tried to find cover for the absence, paying way over the odds to fly an ex employee in to cover us for the week so we had enough staff.

Weekend comes and goes, she is giving me no updates at all. I eventually message her out of desperation (I was trying not to harass her and scare her away) and she says she's booked on tomorrow's plane.
You guessed it - no show.
I message saying I'm sorry it's been so difficult, but I'm now having major staffing issues so please can she please give me an update - silence.

This was 2 weeks ago and I've not heard a thing from her, despite me politely chasing. In short - I think she's found another job and was stringing me along until it was finalised. She had every opportunity to at least tell me, and chose to string me along knowing I was having staffing issues.

But it's absolutely left me up shit creek - I now have no Nursery Manager, and I waited over 8 weeks for her - bodging together cover.
I've readvertised but the moment has been and gone, and I'm struggling for applicants (I do have a couple that I'm processing) where before I had loads.

She's reading messages but no responding - I background checked her, reference checked. I have all her documents, I paid for a visa, accommodation etc etc and she's just disappeared.

AIBU to think this is the shittiest shittiest thing to do to a tiny, new Nursery that you know has bent over backwards for you?

Up until the point where she suddenly became very flakey (day she was meant to arrive) absolutely everything was as it should be - she presented excellently. One of the best interviews I've ever conducted, and I've obviously done a fair few by now.

As I mention upthread - I reference checked her, background checked her, police checked her. I got copies of qualifications, certificates, passport and driving license. She had three individual video interviews, two with myself and one with a colleague. All the information was cross checked with info I found online, and everything checked out.
I even spoke to her daughter briefly to tell her about things that she could do in the area (at her request).

This is a shame.
I honestly don't feel like I came across as overreaching - she'd messaged me asking what her daughter to could get involved in, and given the nature of the island I made enquiries on her behalf as a lot of stuff that goes on is not advertised, certainly not online.
I arranged subscriptions for her because she asked about certain things, and I thought it was the kind thing to do.

Where we're based is an incredibly small and personal community, so these sort of things aren't unusual.

No - the requirement is a minimum of a Level 3 childcare qualification (CACHE etc). I have a degree in Child Psychology, and 13 years of experience with early years, but not the magic qualification. Our equivalent of OFSTED don't accept this as a substitute for the Level 3.
I'm studying it at the moment. It's particularly frustrating!

I work as a Rota Nanny, took on the job during Covid because my agency took a real dip in placements. It used to be 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off so when things started to pick up it was fairly easy to manage the business and the job.
When I opened the Nursery, the expenses was so high (mostly staffing) that it made sense to stick with the job.
Recently I moved to working 3 weeks on, 1 week off in order to bring in more money.

I've come to the conclusion that anyone who knows me would have clocked who I am from the OP plus a Mumsnet search of my username, so I guess there's no harm in filling in the gaps if people think I'm not genuine.

Glad it's not just me!
We've had several local people report us to our Ofsted out of spite (long story) and they always have to investigate (quite rightly), but it's such a headache - we've got other things to sort without having to prove that we're running it properly.

Well ok that’s understandable and nice but it sounds as though the applicant doesn’t necessarily come from the same type of community. This is all about her behaviour and reaction to your efforts it seems to me.

Yanbu
She is extremely unprofessional

Are you able to let her referee know?
"She accepted the job offer arranged start date & we arranged accomodation
She failed to arrive. She arranged to start 2 weeks later. She failed to arrive. We have not found her reliable in our experience of her. "
I would want to know as referee as it's my reputation

Yes, this is a really good idea.

OP I just wanted to say you sound like a lovely employer.
im lucky enough to have an employer who is kind and wanting to make things work for the company and staff and it makes the world of difference. I absolutely have a greater sense of loyalty and far less likely to leave because I feel that I matter personally and not just a number.
I’m sorry the candidate was so awful in the end but hope you find someone fab soon.

I also hope that the amateur Poirots who have x-reffed your posts in a 'ha-Haaaaa!' kind of way, are feeling a bit sheepish.

And that you find a brilliant candidate - possibly from among the ranks of nicer MNers.

I worked in international recruitment for 10 years, checking foreign references is "problematic". unless you can verify who the referees are via a genuine, independent, third party, you are really just taking the future employees word as to who they are.

Yes, this is a massive problem. Particularly with household staff, as references are via private families (ie. anyone can do them).
In this case however I spoke to two previous schools she'd worked for, called their direct line and spoke to their management - she passed every check.

It's awful for you, after being such a good employer. I would definitely report it as it sounds dodgy.

So unprofessional. OTOH imagine relying on her for your business and children’s wellbeing. You dodged a bullet. How long till your qualification? Can you survive till then with short-term covers?

This behaviour from the mystery woman sounds very much like one of those dating scams. The victim sends money for a plane ticket, and then they say "I missed the flight" then "there was a hurricane" etc.

Did she gain anything at all from this?

No - there was no clear gain for her at all.
I said at the time (to my partner, not to her) when she she started saying about missing flights and it was all starting to unravel - "Is this a scam? Is this when she asks for me to buy something or send her money?"

But nothing. Everything I paid for (accommodation, visa, hamper, etc etc) is left unused.

My best guess is she got a better offer, and was stringing me along until it was confirmed. But even in that case, the professional thing would to say something not go AWOL.

I'm limping along with skeleton staff; they're doing okay but I want a strong, consistent team in place for everyone's sake.
I've been working on an email to let the parents know the news (as I'd already introduced her (with her permission) and now look like a prat) but I was hoping to have something else more positive to announce at the same time.

Someone has guessed the location (after I'd kindly requested no one post it so it can't be dredged up by Google in relation to my Nursery) - I've asked Mumsnet to delete it for this reason

If you want to know the location - please PM me. Just don't post it on this thread as it could cause me issues later down the line.

It always seems a shame that, when posting anonymously on a forum like this, some people like to dig and find exactly who/where you are - most unfair.