to think this is the height of unprofessionalism?

[ScrawlyEmbroidery]

I've opened a brand new Nursery school - it's in a beachy, tourist destination and when I first advertised the role we had lots of amazing candidates as we were providing accommodation, great salary etc etc in a very unusual and attractive area.

I had a lady apply who was just amazing - extremely professional, very qualified, was going to relocate with her two children and was very enthusiastic about the role. Her interview went brilliantly, she passed all the checks and accepted the position. So I ended the job advert, and put some temps in place to cover her slightly longer than average notice period - expensive and time consuming (on our very limited budget) but worth it for someone so awesome.

We kept in regular contact - I went above and beyond with getting her accommodation set up perfectly, arranging pen pals in our area for her kids (it's a remote area), setting up subscriptions for her, arranging a specialist visa, getting activities that I knew her and her kids would like arranged in the area and making hampers for their arrival. Answered all her questions, helped her with all the travel and just tried to be as supportive as possible.

Day for her arrival comes..... and she doesn't show up.
I call and message, very worried (she's coming from overseas) and she tells me , in a super casual tone - oh, sorry. There was a problem with the plane. I'm going to try again tomorrow
Ok... she'd been very professional and cooperative till now so I put it down to stress travelling with two kids etc.
Next day - I had to chase her for info whilst scrabbling around to find cover as she was meant to have started. She eventually messages back with "XYZ.... will be travelling tomorrow"
Fine, okay. I kept my frustration to myself and didn't ask too many questions.
The next day again - no info and I have to gently chase her - oh, she's going to fly half way but the kids will have to take another flight (???) so probably won't be until the weekend.
Right, okay. I didn't want to make waves, so I said "okay, keep me updated" and manically tried to find cover for the absence, paying way over the odds to fly an ex employee in to cover us for the week so we had enough staff.

Weekend comes and goes, she is giving me no updates at all. I eventually message her out of desperation (I was trying not to harass her and scare her away) and she says she's booked on tomorrow's plane.
You guessed it - no show.
I message saying I'm sorry it's been so difficult, but I'm now having major staffing issues so please can she please give me an update - silence.

This was 2 weeks ago and I've not heard a thing from her, despite me politely chasing. In short - I think she's found another job and was stringing me along until it was finalised. She had every opportunity to at least tell me, and chose to string me along knowing I was having staffing issues.

But it's absolutely left me up shit creek - I now have no Nursery Manager, and I waited over 8 weeks for her - bodging together cover.
I've readvertised but the moment has been and gone, and I'm struggling for applicants (I do have a couple that I'm processing) where before I had loads.

She's reading messages but no responding - I background checked her, reference checked. I have all her documents, I paid for a visa, accommodation etc etc and she's just disappeared.

AIBU to think this is the shittiest shittiest thing to do to a tiny, new Nursery that you know has bent over backwards for you?

Sorry - just playing catch up.

I'm a new employer and I've been stung a lot by employees and every time my faith in humanity dies a little.
I've always given too much and I've definitely been taken advantage of, and I clearly need to scale it back - but then I think of the people that deserve the extra care and the difference it makes to them, and I worry about tarring everyone

It doesn't make a profit yet - I currently prop it up with a full time job outside the Nursery (I don't have the qualification to be Manager yet).
It's crippling to my personal life, but right now I work to keep the place open.

I've just taken on more shifts at work in order to pay.
I wanted to attract the best possible candidate, so offered the highest pay I could and the best package.

There’s no legal standing here! Unless the contract specified penalties for not starting on the agreed date. In any case the penalty would be something like deducting wages or dismissal so no. Plus the twat isn’t even in the UK. Not to mention the cost of (international) litigation.

OP, I wish more people managers had your outlook, you sound like you'd be a wonderful employer!

This happens all the time-it was rareish ten years ago but I have had it happen a lot this year, as have my fellow retail managers. The worst is when they respond to you before the start date, then on the day no show, no call, no answer. It’s so rude and means we have to delay advertising meaning I am short on staff.
At the moment the amount of vacancies far out number the really good candidates. At this point I am offering people the job in the interview and getting them to start in days, not weeks.
You just need to let it go, expect it to happen again and have a budget for staff gaps.
I am sorry this happened to you, but it could be worse she could have started and caused real
issues for you.

I know it's not the point of your thread, but where is your nursery? As a Level 3 I'm intrigued....

it seems the way to close the loophole is to put in the fine print that if they flake out then they need to pay back the money for the relocation.

What a bitch. Definitely follow up on the visa, try and get it cancelled.

And send the bitch a coldly formal email telling her of the impact her shitty behaviours has had.

Wouldn't that be amazing if you could help!

Ooh yes, definitely report her to the immigration authorities. I’m a great fan of revenge is a dish best served cold 🥶

I'll PM you :) Thank you

I do actually have something similar in the contract - however, the chances of forcing someone to pay me back are extremely slim

Your writing is fine! It's just such a specific and unusual situation (the beachy setting etc) I got the vibe it was one of those parody posts.

I would put the location of your nursery on your post because there may be someone on Mumsnet who would fit your role perfectly or someone who knows someone. You sound brilliant!

Yes. Do this and let people know early on that’s the deal. That way a serious candidate will still get treated well and have no issue with it, but time wasters will get put off early.

The problem is that if the candidate is coming from abroad then the OP has zero chance of getting her money back and the candidate will know that, as this woman clearly does. If she was looking to relocate to the UK, chances are she is now here with another job, so the OP wont be able to find her anyway.

This clause only works if you have up to date contact info which can change in a heartbeat with live in/bed and board paid positions.

That is just awful. I’m very sorry. It’s seems you really got the crap end of the deal. I wish I had advice to resolve this. I’m not sure what the next step would be.

I appreciate you've probably done this to be accomodating but most company relocation policies work on claiming money back once the employee has started. I've not known a business to hand over money because as you've learned here, you have no chance of getting it back, especially from abroad. So for the next one, you'd ask them to cover things themselves and reimburse them on starting. The contract should also have a claw back clause so that if they leave within 12/24 months time, they have to repay certain amounts. At least this way you will see how commited they are to moving too.

This has reminded me.....I remember my cousin getting a loan to pay for his relocation. It was a hell of a lot of money but he could afford the repayments on his new (v high) salary and he would get it all back after so many months with the company, cant remember how many. I remember being confused as he said that they were paying XYZ for him to relocate as they head hunted him etc, so I couldnt understand why he needed to pay for it and thought that perhaps he had been exaggerating what they were offering until he explained it to me.

I'm an NNEB nursery nurse who would love to work near a beach...but long term ill at the mo. Also couldn't manage to do something in a place where it's incredibly easy to do.

Good staff are key but rare. Treat them well and pay them what they deserve.

Hope it works out.

AIBU to think this is the shittiest shittiest thing to do to a tiny, new Nursery that you know has bent over backwards for you?

YANBU. I am so sorry OP

Second this - both the reimbursement and the clawback clause.

Obviously too late for this person, but next time, don't pay upfront relocation costs. Reimburse them after they've started work and produce the receipts and invoices for the actual costs.
Also, set a cap on the costs that you're willing to reimburse. eg, £x amount towards relocation costs, otherwise, there is no incentive for the person to shop around.

It's a sh*tty thing for this person to have done and I hope you find someone else very soon.

If I were you, I would avoid candidates from overseas who need a visa for the very reason you were scammed, especially since you were not spoilt for candidates the first time round. I would not pay their relocation costs or airplane tickets upfront. It is a well known scam. If that causes you to miss out on a brilliant candidate, so be it. You are none the wiser but equally, you would have saved yourself a lot of cost, disruption and stress.

This is so shitty. If she had just changed her mind or got cold feet about the move then it would have been better to say rather than piss about.

There is no point suing an overseas candidate. The contract is not worth the paper it is written on if she does not turn up.