Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

[WinnieLovett]

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

And as for snacks? Siblings noisily eating snacks is about the worst thing that can happen!!!

If you insist on bringing siblings to a school show PLEASE DON'T GIVE THEM SNACKS! Seriously.

@FatGirlSwim totally agree all babies different but unless something else is going on (teething, unwell, heat wave) wouldn’t usually feed more than every couple of hours and feed more efficiently to fill themselves up by 4 months.

OP mentioned no specific needs, not teething or unwell and her baby was on something of a feeding schedule, so wasn’t in extreme of not being able to take a shower because of continuous latch. That sounds so hard. I wouldn’t have been able to manage having no time to myself (to go to dentist) and say that as someone BF ‘on demand’ to 18m. Did that mean you had to bath with the baby instead? Amazing how you made it work but the idea of not being able to take a shower for 4 months would put a lot of people off I would expect.

Hope they're not singing Come Come Come to the Manger, Children come to the Children's King. They'll need to fit in a line about not till you're 4.

They always sing that at my church when the priest calls the children up to the Nativity scene.

@Desdichado Exactly that. Kicks up enough fuss to suit herself but basically sod the rest.

I did bring my BF baby to my son’s school nativity. She was tucked up in a sling, and slept all the way through. Other parents also brought their
children, if any child became disruptive they left the room. But more often than not, all were watching quietly and there were no interruptions at all. Most parents have an inkling as to how their child would behave in such a situation and would not bring a potentially noisy and unsettled child in to the mix. The school did not lay down any rules on sibling attendance.

I sincerely don't understand what the big deal is with bringing children/babies along, especially breastfed babies. Surely we want a supportive community in which to raise our children and want to provide that for others? Why is that not the norm? 🤷‍♀️

In her second post OP says “she [the baby] is not happy usually at these times [that the performances are happening]” so she was absolutely intending on bringing a noisy and unsettled child in.

@stuntbubbles in that case I would think that the OP is being unreasonable and selfish.

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable. If you were to be seated near the exit so you could leave if she got disruptive and your baby could be fed when she wants. If you are following her cues as to when she has a feed, feeding early won't be right for her needs and appetite and she probably wouldn't latch and feed properly until she is hungry. Non breastfeeders don't get how you can't just shift timings. Your baby needs security. We have a culture that treats babies and small children as a nuisance rather than having an inclusive and welcoming attitude towards families. I suppose if she is used to taking expressed milk from a bottle from another caregiver that might work but you don't have long to establish that now.

Good news. I'm glad you got some support here and had this reasonable result. It's not quite the whole shebang but it is something.

Wouldn't feeding her solve that?

What "day and age" would that be, OP?

@ancientgran not usually otherwise she wouldn't be fussy and unsettled at that time would she?

I'd think she would be fussy and unsettled if mum isn't there to feed her. I suppose we'd have to ask the OP.

Makes sense! Enjoy x

I would say adjust your feeding schedule to fit the times but honestly, the no siblings rule applying to a 4 month old?? Ffs, most 4 month olds have never been without their parents at that stage. I took my DC2 4 months to a funeral last week and they slept through the whole thing. No disturbances whatsoever. If there had been I would have taken them out immediately.

The OP said those times are when her baby is basically grouchy. Is that fair on all of the children/teachers who have worked so hard to practise the play etc?

And most people I know with children had left their babies by the time they were 4 months old...

@OddsocksinmyDocs that's why I said she should adjust the schedule. Most people will have left their 4 month old, but in the care of the other parent.