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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not allowed siblings at my sons nativity play .. including my breast fed baby??

793 replies

WinnieLovett · 23/11/2022 16:28

My daughter is 4 months old and breastfeeding.

My two other sons are involved in the school nativity play. The school will be having two performers one at 2:30 and one at 7:00.

I have been informed that the school has a ‘no sibling rule’ to watching so I will not be allowed to bring my daughter. The issue is these times are both when she has milk.

I was also told by the head that she may make noise and interrupt the performance !!

Really sad as I don’t want to miss it ! But do not feel happy leaving my baby at these times!

OP posts:
CocoLux · 23/11/2022 16:28

But if they let you in with her, there will be other parents wanting exceptions as well.

TallulahBetty · 23/11/2022 16:30

No exceptions, this is completely normal.

Fufumcgoo · 23/11/2022 16:30

It will last about 30 minutes. Pretty sure you can cope with that no?

EndlessRain · 23/11/2022 16:30

Feed her half an hour earlier or a little later. Not a big deal.

imaginationhasfailedme · 23/11/2022 16:30

Maybe ask if you could have a seat near the doors so you can nip out (even if that means missing your other children on stage) and not disturb. Or have someone go with you to keep your baby nearby (staff room or classroom) so you can leave feed then come back in?

LunchBoxPolice · 23/11/2022 16:31

Can’t you leave her with her Dad or someone else? It isn’t for long.

Bananasareok · 23/11/2022 16:31

I think you have to suck it up I’m afraid. If they let you bring her then everyone would want to do the same.

MangshorJhol · 23/11/2022 16:31

Can’t you just feed 15 mins before and hand the baby over to whoever is supposed to be looking after them? Or you feed and hand over to DH and DH attends the second one on his own or something.

Lockheart · 23/11/2022 16:31

The Nativity play will be what, half an hour max? Can't you flex her feeding time slightly for that one afternoon?

pimlicoanna · 23/11/2022 16:31

It is pretty standard

Katapolts · 23/11/2022 16:32

My kids school do a 'dress rehearsal' performance that you can bring siblings too - can you ask about that?

TulipCat · 23/11/2022 16:32

I get that's it's hard with a new baby, but I really appreciate the no siblings policy. The kids don't get loads of lines and tend to speak quite quietly and it's sooooo irritating if a baby or toddler choses your child's line to start causing a disturbance. Plus most primary school halls are too small to allow siblings. The performance won't be very long - can't you feed baby a bit earlier, just before you go?

SlashBeef · 23/11/2022 16:32

Yeah standard at our school too. Just bring forward a feed and leave the baby with her dad or someone. It's not like the performance will be hours long.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/11/2022 16:32

Tbf bf baby normally beats the ban. I wouldn't demand to bring my 2 yo twins because someone was there with a newborn.

It's crappy OP, can Dad go and film it if allowed? Or at he goes to the evening and see if anyone else can go in the day?

Matilda1981 · 23/11/2022 16:33

This really shouldn’t be an issue! Just go to one of the performances (whatever’s easiest to get childcare for) and go and enjoy. Your baby will survive - hardly likely to need breastfeeding in the hour or so you are gone and even if they do want some milk they can survive waiting!!!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/11/2022 16:34

Either dad goes or you feed then go and feed on return.

Fleabigg · 23/11/2022 16:34

Nativity plays are so short. Would you even be gone an hour? Feed baby before you go, feed baby when you come back.

Original poster
WinnieLovett · 23/11/2022 16:35

I could do this but she is not happy usually at these times. I may try and do a test run to see how she is and if I can leave her. My husband can attend the evening to at least he will see it.
i feel that in this day and age I shouldn’t be put in this position.

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 23/11/2022 16:35

Unfortunately a crying baby disturbs the nervous kids.

ChocoFudge · 23/11/2022 16:36

Feed her just before you go and she'll be fine without milk for the hour or so that you'll be gone, she's not a newborn any more.
Everyone will have a reason why they 'need' an exception to be made for them.

MWNA · 23/11/2022 16:37

WinnieLovett · 23/11/2022 16:35

I could do this but she is not happy usually at these times. I may try and do a test run to see how she is and if I can leave her. My husband can attend the evening to at least he will see it.
i feel that in this day and age I shouldn’t be put in this position.

What's this day and age got to do with anything?
Noisy babies are a pain in situations like this in any era.

wedonttalkaboutyouno · 23/11/2022 16:37

This seems a bit harsh to me. My DCs school do one performance for adults only, and another where siblings are welcome. TBH the babies and toddlers are often quieter than the adults! I guess nothing you can do but feed back for next year.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/11/2022 16:37

Matilda1981 · 23/11/2022 16:33

This really shouldn’t be an issue! Just go to one of the performances (whatever’s easiest to get childcare for) and go and enjoy. Your baby will survive - hardly likely to need breastfeeding in the hour or so you are gone and even if they do want some milk they can survive waiting!!!

So just leave a 4 month old baby crying for 30+ minutes with no idea why the the she needs isn't coming? As opposed to saying this one has to be a Daddy / Nanny thing?

SerenaTee · 23/11/2022 16:39

Pretty standard and fair. At 4 months you should be able to give a top up a little early and make one of the performances.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/11/2022 16:40

Not sure what "this day and age" has to do with it opines you mean they should record it and send it out