Just came back from a long haul holiday with a childhood friend.
I'm very private and not a big photo taker. DF's the opposite.
We went to the national park on day 2, and our entire 5 hour walk was captured on video. I wouldn't mind so much if she'd just filmed the walk but I was in 70+% of the video because she didn't want it to look like some stock video taken off YouTube! Told her I didn't want to be in her videos but since she's not uploading it to social media apparently she doesn't see the big deal?
Got into an argument later that night and she simply could not understand that it doesn't matter if no one but her will see it!
Next few days were really uncomfortable, she didn't film anymore, just took a few pictures as she felt like she could find photos/videos on google if she wanted to remember the place. She won't film with just herself in the videos because she thinks it's awkward/pointless and I don't feel comfortable talking when I know the camera's rolling.
The whole trip was basically ruined tbh. Everyone was unhappy — she adopted this attitude of 'I'll just go look at pictures on google/YouTube' and I honestly really do not like having my every move recorded so wasn't going to compromise there.
Was I being unreasonable here? We haven't spoken since we came back. All those years of friendship and money down the drain. :(
AIBU?
Friendship ruined after holiday?
ToFilmOrNotToFilm · 23/11/2022 14:49
Am I being unreasonable?
1663 votes. Final results.
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jazzybelle · 25/11/2022 00:46
Yet she still went ahead and did it!!!
I can post if I want to. It's nothing to do with you.
And what's pathetic is posting about something that has happened and really doesn't matter or make any difference to their lives whatsoever.
The issue is laughable.
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JustLyra · 25/11/2022 01:05
They’ve lost a long term friend. That’s what the post is about.
That may be nothing to you or make no difference to your life, but clearly to the OP it does.
jazzybelle · 25/11/2022 00:46
Yet she still went ahead and did it!!!
I can post if I want to. It's nothing to do with you.
And what's pathetic is posting about something that has happened and really doesn't matter or make any difference to their lives whatsoever.
The issue is laughable.
This reply has been deleted
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jazzybelle · 25/11/2022 01:33
Thanks. You can stop trawling through the OP and then throwing lots of different excuses now. We don't agree let's leave it at that.
JustLyra · 25/11/2022 01:05
They’ve lost a long term friend. That’s what the post is about.
That may be nothing to you or make no difference to your life, but clearly to the OP it does.
jazzybelle · 25/11/2022 00:46
Yet she still went ahead and did it!!!
I can post if I want to. It's nothing to do with you.
And what's pathetic is posting about something that has happened and really doesn't matter or make any difference to their lives whatsoever.
The issue is laughable.
This reply has been deleted
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Babydrama2022 · 25/11/2022 06:34
You are not unreasonable to feel as you do about being in photos and videos but yabu here.
You went on holiday with her knowing this. It's her holiday too and whilst filming the entire hike isn't OK in terms of impact on conversation, she could have removed sound. She enjoys documenting and the fact she doesn't even post them on socials tells me it's very much about having memories she can revisit personally, than attention seeking. One day you'll be old and grey and looking back on them will have brought her comfort.
Sorry but you ruined your own trip by going on holiday with someone you knew enjoyed journelling. And then ruined her trip too.
YeOldNoName · 25/11/2022 07:12
I think everyone saying "Oh why would she film for hours blah blah" is being really unreasonable. There's people who do post to social media who film themselves playing video games for hours. There's people who video themselves riding motorbikes for hours, there are people who video old buildings.... so effing what if she videos her hike for hours!!!
OP sounds like a bit of a brat tbh, came here looking for advice but argued the whole way through. I can see why the friend didn't speak for the rest of the trip!
Maybe she shouldn't have recorded the OP, or maybe she just wanted a first person POV to remember the trip by. Maybe she wanted to remember every part of it.
ToFilmOrNotToFilm · 23/11/2022 15:20
At the risk of sounding defensive, is it really that extreme to not like being on camera? If I appear in the background of someone's photos or videos, so be it. But aside from taking a few photos, I seriously dislike and don't feel comfortable with being videoed!
JustLyra · 25/11/2022 01:54
It’s hardly “trawling” to reply to you with something that’s the title of the thread.
You don’t get to control my postings anymore that you pointed out that I don’t yours.
jazzybelle · 25/11/2022 01:33
Thanks. You can stop trawling through the OP and then throwing lots of different excuses now. We don't agree let's leave it at that.
JustLyra · 25/11/2022 01:05
They’ve lost a long term friend. That’s what the post is about.
That may be nothing to you or make no difference to your life, but clearly to the OP it does.
jazzybelle · 25/11/2022 00:46
Yet she still went ahead and did it!!!
I can post if I want to. It's nothing to do with you.
And what's pathetic is posting about something that has happened and really doesn't matter or make any difference to their lives whatsoever.
The issue is laughable.
This reply has been deleted
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
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