I just don’t want to go

[Ijustdontwantto]

Supposed to be going out for dinner with friends tomorrow and I really don’t want to go. I need an excuse …

Bit of a mad rant there…but fine.

I’m one of those who turns up to things I say I will…even if I don’t bloody feel like it. I get pissed off with and lose respect for those that flake out on a whim with cruddy excuses. It offends me to be lied to.

So many snappy replies offering the same old tired shit we’ve all heard from a flake/ time waster before.

I know loads of people…most in fact, are grand with little white lies to avoid doing what they committed to and letting others down.
I’m not. If that bothers you, tough. I’m 47 and can set my own standards.

Sorry OP I didn’t mean to quote you there.

It was meant to be to christmasfireplace who has intimated that not being a bullshitter equates to offering verbal abuse.
Personally, I can be basically honest and decent without insulting people. No idea what that post was all about.

I also think the op should go. And I am not convinced the issue is her friends, as she herself isn’t, but her own self esteem and envy that is the issue.

I also find it horrible when someone agrees to fo something then decides they just don’t want to and lets people down.

I don’t do that. My friends don’t do that. We don’t do that. But the op does.

so for her friends sake, I do not think being honest is the best bet here. A little white lie , then as I said. Never say yes Again. And the reason why I say that is if she’s honest she will make these people feel like shit and they may not be the problem. So as well as making a commitment, letting them down, bad mouthing them on line, she’d also make them feel like shit.

I did wonder where the mad rant was @pictish !

I think @Subtlety1985 has probably got closest to explaining what happens. It’s easy to blame my own negative thoughts and maybe there’s some truth in that and no one can make you feel inferior without your consent and blah blah but equally intentionally or otherwise I do come out feeling a bit mangled.

As for accepting invites - fair point but I often don’t realise how unenjoyable the evening has been until a few days later. And it’s hard coming up with an excuse as if you say you can’t do the 25th people suggest the 26th or the week after … they get you eventually! If I really didn’t want to go I’d either have to be honest or I’d have to agree then pull out. And I’m a wimp so I’d go for the latter!

So did you decide what to do yet?

My lo has a small friendship group, 3 other girls but 2 out of the 3 have had birthday parties recently and not invited her. I don't understand it and neither does she. Should I message the mums to ask why? My lo is so upset by it.

Thelonelypotter

It would be much better to start your own thread rather than resurrect an old one and piggy back on it.

Seems sensible to me.

Not sensible to offer this advice two and a half months later, though.

That's true. Only just noticed it was an old thread 😳