I just don’t want to go

[Ijustdontwantto]

Supposed to be going out for dinner with friends tomorrow and I really don’t want to go. I need an excuse …

Op the reality is - you are unlikely to be missed! So just say that you’re ducking out of this one as not feeling up to it, and look forward to seeing them soon

You have a rotten cold, lots of people do this time of year. Text to cancel with this excuse ASAP so it's not last minute. Do t go if you don't want to.

Good idea I'd do this a little later tonight. Could even say you'll see how you feel tomorrow

Just be honest and say you’re not up for it but look forward to the next meet up? Or something along those lines x

There’s no point forcing yourself to socialise with people who you don’t like and treat you badly. Sometimes it takes a while to see people’s true colours or what a group dynamic is like. I’d text now and apologise saying that you’ve got a bug and wish them a good night. Then just RSVP no next time round.

And what happens the next time... and the next time?

I love nights out with friends but when it gets near I will invariably feel that I can't be bothered - but I push through that and it's all good.

Maybe you need to be a bit more assertive if they're teasing - or maybe they all do it with each other and you're only sensitive when it's you who's the butt of it?

This

Multiple people saying tell them you've got the shits? Is that how people talk on group chats to people they're not very close with? That's not normal.

Just tell them you can't come. Job done

Have a drink before you go, OP, and enjoy yourself. If it doesn't go well, don't arrange it again.

It would seem this “young girl” off 22 year old is a manager.

Good on her!

Wrong thread

Just say you don't want to.

I'm not comfortable in group situations anymore, I was when I was younger but now they're overwhelming. It's okay to say so.

This

I think if I was that abrupt they would not invite me again, I wouldn’t blame them tbh.

How do you know your attendance won't matter? You might be the one person someone else is really looking forward to seeing. Why do you dislike group meet ups so much? How is it different from meeting them all individually?

Agree, can’t believe some folks agree to things then back out without giving explanation. Horrible way to behave. I don’t believe for one moment anyone does that with actual friends and keeps them.

@WonderingWanda hard to answer. Just that I feel group meet ups are somehow not as kind as individual.

but why nooooooot 😂

So 4 pages of advice later.... What are you thinking now OP?

It’s massively rude to cancel at the last minute, which less than 24 hours to go is. What if a couple of other people pull the same stunt. Your host will have spent the previous week prepping for having you round, and will have gone to a lot of effort to make a nice evening for what she thinks are her friends.

Well, given that you don't seem to want to see them or particularly like them, wouldn't that save you the bother of a next time?

Just text them tomorrow to say "Sorry guys, I'm not feeling well at the moment so I'll bow out of tonights meal. Keep me posted on when the next one is planned. Hope you all have a nice time tonight. All the best, Ijustdontwantto."

No specific reason why (could be a headache, upset stomach, whatever) if they ask further. I don't think they will though.

Why did you agree to it in the first place?

If they’re your real friends you wouldn’t feel like this.

Stop accepting invites in the future. Just say you have COVID/the flu to get out of tomorrow.

@Confusion101 if you’re looking for an answer you’ll probably be disappointed, I’m very much trying to unpick my own feelings on it all.

Yes, backing out isn’t nice. But also spending a bit inconsiderable amount of money for something I really won’t enjoy doesn’t fill me with joy either.

At this point I'd aim to go for an hour (pre-warn them you can't stay for long) and see how the evening goes. You may end up staying longer.

Cancelling at the last minute is only a pain if lots of other people drop out - is that likely to be the case with this group of friends? Otherwise, don't overthink, but just say you're sorry you can't make it. No one cares.

And stop accepting the invitations if you don't actually like going.