To hate the fact I’m fat

[Somethingscanwait]

I was fat when I left school, fat when I graduated.

Fat in first pregnancy, fat at my wedding. Now pregnant again and fat.

I have had brief periods of being not-fat but I always put the weight back on

Fed up of being FAT!

Yeah … you know what the average walking pace is with a one year old?

Yep, not fast. But it's still activity and think of it this way, it's not just about your health it's also about there's and setting up healthy habits from a young age.
I've taken my children out as just walking toddlers for adventures. Didn't have a car at the time so we'd get the bus and go explore other areas. In the late autumn/winter/early spring, we'd do the wellies/puddlesuit combo and jump in puddles, hunt for pine cones, all sorts. Yes there were times when we were lucky if we covered half a mile in an hour, but as they get older the distance increases.
And it's still activity!!!

But I’m not coming from a position of being completely stationary. A plod isn’t going to make any discernible difference to weight loss, and at the risk of being jumped on I’m not looking for advice as to how to exercise.

I exercised with my child, he found it funny watching me or I put him in sling and did squats using his weight and lifted him above my head.

I exercised with mine when he was of sling age too. Walked miles with the sling/pram. Unsurprisingly, once the pram fell out of favour, I haven’t been able to do that.

The way that some people are talking about themselves on this post is so sad - it's really sad to see people calling themselves whales etc. I'm no skinny Minnie so I do understand the battles with ourselves, but PP please speak to yourselves kindly, your weight doesn't define your worth ❤️

OP I'm sorry you are feeling down about your weight.
I wondered if you have tried hypnotherapy or any kind of meditation? I get the sense you are quite rural but there are CDs / podcasts / YouTube etc which might be accessible.

I really rate mindfulness as a way of resetting - there's an app called Headspace which might be a good startig point.

It strikes me that perhaps focussing on loving your body and aiming to nurture it and care for it might be a good approach? In the same way you care for your toddler.

Please be kind to yourself, it's really hard let alone with a toddler and a pregnancy to manage! Best of luck and take things one step at a time xx

I thought you said your child is one? You don't use a pram or sling anymore? My son is nearly 4 and I still use the pram! I use him as a weight all the time though he is huge now. It is really hard fitting exercise in with a little one, I have to absolutely drag myself out the house in winter at 6:30 to go to yoga but I never regret going once I'm there.

Nope. Hasn’t gone in the sling for a long time. Pram is very very occasional.

To add context to my initial comment. I struggle with weight myself. But the difference is I know that I'm the only one that can make the change. You can exercise IN YOUR HOUSE unless you live in a shed. Excuses are not "conversation". Stick a dance video on YouTube and jump around with the kid. Do squats. Do ANYTHING except eat crap.

Walk fast with the buggy, I used to do it all the time, really briskly.

** sorry crossed posted.

I don't really get this. If my one year old protested (which he did and does) I would still put him in the pram and go out. They are tiny at one.

But it doesn't really seem like I'm being helpful to you as I don't understand your circumstances so I'll leave the thread. Wish you best of luck with everything.

It's about little changes , drive to the park and let the little one play then into the pram and do a few laps of the park before coming home. Loads of short videos on YouTube, I've started chair yoga which I love and am already feeling better from it and have only been doing it a month.

Excercise will make you feel better but you can lose loads of weight without exercising at all and just through diet.

The only person that can make the change is you and when you ate ready you will, you don't sound quite ready yet.

Apparently exercise is only 20% of weight loss.
It really is all about calories in and burning more than you use. Which most of us know.
There's no quick fix. Which is why it's easy to give up.
However the mindset of I'll get christmas done then diet or I'll get that wedding over and diet that will not work because there will always be an event.
If you want to lose weight then you have to start today.
If you don't start today then you're not ready to put the work in to lose weight.

Hi op, from reading all your posts I get the feeling that you’re a very intelligent woman who knows intellectually and logically all the things you could/should do to lose the weight. You know that you ‘could’ do more exercise if you put your mind to it and you know that you ‘could’ eat better. You even have the motivation. But you lack the will power.
You hate being fat but you equally hate all the measures you’d have to put in place to lose the weight.
So choose which hate to go with and which path to go down. Neither one is appealing. They’re both dark and damp and full of brambles. One has the benefit of cake along the way, but gets harder as time goes on and has a muddy graveyard at the end of it……..and the other gets easier.

Alternatively, just have the baby and then eat less.

I get you op.
Don't diet while you're pregnant but you could try to eat more healthily to give you and your baby good nutrition and stay healthy.
After the baby is born, you'll have your hands full but getting out and about and getting fresh air for you and dc will help.
Combine that with trying to eat your 5 portions of fruit and veg a day, a good amount of protein, drinking plenty of water and saving a small treat for the end of the day.
You might even be able to fit in a 15 minute exercise video here and there.

Oh OP I’m sorry you feel that way. Have you thought about therapy to work through your relationship with food? Eating is so often an emotional response and even habits that have been a lifetime in the making can be undone. I’ve had (different) body image issues and found talking about them a great help. I look the same bit I feel differently about it (on good days at least)

I recommend Rebelfit on Facebook - goes right to the root of disordered eating

Go Love Yourself podcast on Spotify.

Give it a listen, changed my opinion on myself completely.

I've been obese for most of my life. It sucks. At the end of April, I decided to try to lose weight. I've lost just under 70 lbs since then. Watching what you eat and exercising also sucks. But I've found that being obese sucks more.

I love food, but the key for me has been not to take an "all or nothing" approach. Every other time I tried to lose weight, I would be discouraged with a gain and give up, or I would be discouraged about what I "can't" eat and give up. Changing my mindset has been what really has helped me succeed this time. For instance, Thursday is Thanksgiving and I plan to eat whatever I want. Because that's what "normal" people do - they're mindful of what they eat most of the time and they realize it's ok to splurge on holidays/at parties, etc. And if I'm really craving something, I work it into my calorie allowance for the day.

That was rambling, but my point is that when I dealt with the mental aspect of my weight, the physical became easier.

I'm not here to say whether anyone should breastfeed or not breastfeed, but when I did it over 20 years ago the weight dropped off me as it sent my metabolism into overdrive. Only did it about 3 months. Also running around after two under twos was a workout in itself!

One of the reasons I wanted to lose weight was to help with breastfeeding, I’m almost reluctant to even try it this time

I was going to say, as someone who has always been skinny, the one and only time I was able to put on, gain and maintain weight was when I started exercising (because it spiked my hunger for the first time). It's a myth that exercise increases weight loss - if you look at studies on it people actually recommend dropping down your exercise amount if you want to lose weight, because it's impossible to not eat if you've just done loads of exercise.

Personally I'd just restrict calories and sleep more than usual (less sleep also makes people hungrier)

I breastfed all mine. I was initially concerned that my enormous 38L norms would suffocate them😱🤣 but rugby hold worked very well

I was in the same position as you, OP - fat, but with no willpower or energy to do anything about it.

Something I found helpful was making a "bullet journal" for weight loss. Basically you weigh yourself every week, and you can plot your weight on a chart, or keep a record of it in some other way, all on a pretty page (Google it for ideas). It might not be your sort of thing at all, but I've found it surprisingly motivating!