To hate the fact I’m fat

[Somethingscanwait]

I was fat when I left school, fat when I graduated.

Fat in first pregnancy, fat at my wedding. Now pregnant again and fat.

I have had brief periods of being not-fat but I always put the weight back on

Fed up of being FAT!

Please do read Why w
We Eat (too much) @Somethingscanwait - you don't overeat for the reasons you think you it's at a much deeper level.

I had weight loss surgery - it isn't a magic bullet and it's definitely not the easy option, but it does work and was amazing.

Weight dropped off me when I was exclusively breastfeeding, which I did for 6 months. 10 years of desk based stress then did their worst.

Used to be fat, and photos of a particular occasion just made me think ‘no more’.

In the end though I did it as a healthy eating shift, not a weight loss campaign. Start of lockdown, when we were all terrified of C19, I saw eating healthily and as a result losing weight as the one way I had any control over my risk.

Pregnancy is a good time to focus on healthy eating. Good range of nutrients, don’t flood your blood with sugary and fatty foods that affect your heart rate, insulin etc. Nurture your new baby, and nurture your own body. See healthy food as good fuel for you and your baby.

In the end, the thing that works is the thing that works for YOU. But you need a positive impetus, not (IME) ‘nothing works, I hate my body’ etc.

Are you going to the easiest classes at the gym? I went along to the ones that are targeted towards older women and I found my people as well as being able to do the exercise.

Well done.
Oh to have the will power.
But I will too !!!
I wasn't always fat.
Lack of exercise and a bit of comfort eating and the lbs slowly crept on.
I am almost 4 stone heavier than I was when I first met my dh.

OP wishing you good health in your pregnancy.

I have a friend who is really fat. What changed things for her is accepting that she is fat. It's neither good nor bad, it just is. She now buys nice clothes for herself, gets her hair done, goes to yoga. She is still very fat but she is healthier, mentally and physically. She is not ashamed and doesn't reject invites to things like spa days anymore.

Could be the radical approach that helps you?

I think you can do slimming world when you're pregnant/bf as it promotes healthy eating so you can eat what you need to ( of free foods)

OP, once you have given birth I would seriously recommend Ozempic. I've struggled with my weight all my life and had come to terms with being heavier in middle age despite exercising and trying to watch what I eat, but I read about Ozempic in a newspaper a couple of weeks ago and thought I'd give it a go. It's early days but it really seems to work - lost 2.3kg in 11 days despite a couple of lapses. You still have to put in the effort in minding what you eat and doing exercise but it really makes losing weight considerably easier with no hunger pangs or plummeting blood sugar, and I'm on the lowest dose!

The only downside is it is pricey, but I think some people have been able to get it on the NHS if they have a very high BMI or if they are diabetic. My BMI is over 30 but I didn't qualify, unfortunately. But I have a £50 off discount code for Juniper if anyone is interested. The cost is otherwise £200 per month.

What is Ozempic? I saw it on a thread the other day. I’m not due until the end of July, so very early days.

OP, it's an injectable drug that is for diabetics but can also be used for weight loss. Here is the article I read: www.theguardian.com/food/2022/nov/09/i-miss-eating-weight-loss-drug-ozempic-food-repulsive.

On the other side of this. I was just on the verge of being morbidly obese then lost 9 stone. Over 2 years and have maintained for a year and a half. I still feel as miserable now as I did then still hate my body, I weight train every day do 20k steps a day eat well. But I'm I still see the fat person in the mirror even though I'm now a size 8/10. I thought I would loose weight and all the doors would open and I would feel amazing but I don't. The insecurities are all still there. Being slim does not equal happiness obviously I'm so much healthier and very fit now but I'm still miserable. I thought I would get thin and my life would begin, but it didn't. Hope that makes sense.

Then that’s what you need to change. You’ve got a negative mindset about it.

I’m not a natural runner. I’m not gazelle-like, sprinting gracefully over hill and glen, lithe limbs streaking past. I’m ordinary with a sweaty face.
If you ever go to an organised trail event you will soon see that runners are big, wee, old, young, fast, slow, in it to win it or simply doing it for fun. They are all there for fitness and a nice day.

Sorry if I’m off on a tangent…but running is great (as is walking) -it ticks so many boxes without having to go within 100 feet of a gym or a class.

It does make sense @Thelobsterisinthejar and what can I say, I understand (I think.) When I’ve been thin in the past but had a crap job or been lonely I’ve still been lonely and had a crap job. I suppose though weight wasn’t something that made me unhappy. I have to admit I’ve been happier thin (or not fat, at least!)

@pictish I’m not trying to have a negative mindset, just being honest about my own limitations. I’m just not able to run, no one’s ever been able to make a runner out of me.

OP I get you. Every minute I’m awake I’m thinking about how fat I am and how it’s ruining my life. I’m not one of these pretty fat girls either. I’m fat and vile.

im going to start listening to the brain and binge podcast.

I’m sure you’re not vile but I know what you mean - I could probably be quite nice looking if I wasn’t so big!

Yup. Story of my life. And the same conversation I've been having in my head since I was about 13. (30+ years)

Spinning is good too.
No stress on your joints and you can go at your own pace.
Like another poster said, exercise doesn't burn tons of cals, but spinning is a good sweaty workout good for cardio and toning up.

I was an overweight child (parents who couldn't show love so fed me instead) and, most of the time, an overweight adult. It's taken until my 60s to find what works for me, OP, so I hope that you get there sooner than I did 😊

Over the past year I've lost a stone and a half simply because I've started two new things - using an app called 'Lose It!' (there are loads of apps out there, of course, but I've found this the easiest one to use) and committing to an exercise that I actually enjoy (like you, I've hated all forms of exercise since childhood - something about being the lumpy, red-faced child that no-one wanted on their team). I attend a tai chi class three times a week, and it has revolutionised how I feel about my body and my general health. It works for all ages, (dis)abilities and sizes, and gradually builds fitness.

Good luck!

I was on the pill for a long time and had no idea it was contributing to my weight. But as soon as I came off it my appetite was much easier to control and I’ve lost a little bit of weight without too much effort.

I will add that I wasn’t “technically” overweight - but I was over my ideal weight. But it might be something to consider if you’ve been on hormonal contraception.

Your limitations are only self-made lovely, whatever form of exercise you should prefer. X

I've been everything from a size 6 to a 32. Currently 18/20. I had anorexia in my 20s and 30s - I was obese previously. When I recovered I piled the weight back on. I've never been a 'normal' weight, other than very brief periods on my way up or down.

I'm now 50 and have rheumatoid arthritis which has affected my mobility - I can't exercise (I used to walk up to 10 miles a day and do yoga). I'm on medication which affects my weight. When I start counting calories or restricting food the anorexic part of my brain pings and I have to stop. I've given up hope of ever being a healthy weight/size. I can't look at photos of myself and I hate mirrors, getting dressed and buying clothes.

YANBU, OP.

Take it day by day OP. Don’t try and tell yourself you will magically change forever but if you can manage one ‘good day’ then see how tomorrow goes.

You can hate the fact that you're fat but you also have to face the reality that you don't hate it enough to change it. You don't hate it enough to be in a calorie deficit and to work through the psychological issues. Facing that is the biggest issue.

I hate being fat. I've been fat all my life since I was a very young child. I just kept ballooning more and more through pregnancies and various chronic illnesses that have made me less and less mobile. I'm now mid thirties and I'm morbidly obese.

It's taken a lot of therapy to get me to where I am now. Not fat and hating it like I have been but fat and willing to take action about it. I can't spend my life fat, complacent and then having bouts of hating it so much I jump on a 'diet' that I inevitably fail on. I've got to change everything from the psychological impulses to the lifestyle.

Mine is very early stages but I'm working on it. Talk to your midwife as if you are very overweight they can discuss Slimming World as an option while you're pregnant.

What size/weight and height are you?

im overweight too

got into bad habits during lockdown that I’ve not been able to break

each abs every time I’ve lost weight if just goes back on anyway

no easy solution

whst is your weakness? Chocolate, takeaways? Large portions?

Oh good grief this is dreadful advice. I'd say that if you can find a way to get to at least a place of neutrality about your body (if loving yourself feels like too much of a stretch) you might find it easier to make better food choices.

I'm not sure 'hating yourself thin' is a sustainable way to make change without changing one disordered mindset for another (I know PP said it worked for them, but treating yourself with basic kindness seems like a healthier plan)

I’m 5’2 and just over 14 stone

My weakness is just food, I just love eating, gross I know …