To hate the fact I’m fat

[Somethingscanwait]

I was fat when I left school, fat when I graduated.

Fat in first pregnancy, fat at my wedding. Now pregnant again and fat.

I have had brief periods of being not-fat but I always put the weight back on

Fed up of being FAT!

@Somethingscanwait you sound really fed up but also some of your comments come across like you are not willing to make any changes. It is very difficult but you do have to decide what is most important to you and decide what if any changes you are willing to make.

Three years ago I decided (after a lifetime of being the big friend) that I wanted to reduce my chance of developing diabetes. I see too much of the consequences of poorly controlled type 2 through my job (hospital doctor) and my mother developed it at 60.

I did lots of reading first, “Why we eat too much”, “ The obesity codes and the diabetes code” are good but very science heavy. “Life without diabetes” is a really good book and less of a heavy read than the code ones - excuse the pun!

I decided that I was going to reduce my carb intake to aim for 100g a day and that I would record my intake via Nutracheck aiming for the suggested calorie intake. Over the three years I have very slowly lost weight to reduce my BMI from 42 to 32, my target is 28 as I think that I might not be able to sustain it if I aim too low. This will be about 5 stone in total, currently three gone.

Exercise wise for six months or so I went to aquacise one sometimes twice a week. I also did a short 20 minute walk around the park at the end of the road several evenings a week. I did this to get fit and brave enough to start seeing a personal trainer. I am lucky to be able to afford this I know but they have been brilliant in showing me the way to progress from easier to harder versions of many exercises.

Cant say I enjoy the exercise all the time but I definitely feel the benefit. Do I find it tedious weighing and recording things and making decisions like I’ve had the red wine so I won’t have the chocolate? Absolutely but I can see and feel the difference so on I plod.

Clearly for me this is what I need to keep me on track and I just have to accept that I’m not blessed with the “they can eat anything and never put on an ounce” metabolism that some have.

Very longwinded post sorry but final point is that this is NOT a diet it is now my lifestyle and I have to continue with these positive changes if I wish to continue to reap the benefits.

@Hamserfan I’m not fed up, honestly. Resigned to my own weaknesses, possibly I think I just really wanted things to be different with my second baby.

I've always been slim (not now tho - currently 9 months pregnant!) so I don't know if my advice is helpful, but the way I stay slim without any effort is just to be busy.

As soon as my days and evenings are busy doing things, I completely forget to eat and notice myself losing more and more weight. I've often thought taking up a hobby around the time in the day you tend to eat the most is probably the easiest way of losing weight.

Also it stops the focus being on weight/eating, which I think is actually counterintuitive for weight loss.

Most people don't enjoy running, I promise. The running boom belies the fact that the only enjoyable part comes when you stop and get a bit of an endorphin rush. It being unpleasant while you're doing it doesn't mean you're bad at it. If you're moving beyond a walk, you're doing ok.

This.

Diets won't do it. That's just tinkering at the edges. You need a fundamental change.

Completely change your eating habits, take up a form of exercise that you can do at least two or three times a week during grotty winter weather, cook from scratch, get your family on-board with the changes.

For me, the big thing was allocating a whole hour a day to looking after me - and no, that isn't selfish.

As others have said, only you can do it. Good luck x

I just can’t - seems to trigger a bit of panic in me as I get a stitch and breathless and just can’t seem to do it. I don’t think it’s linked to lack of general fitness either - I climbed mountains for fun in my younger days and still couldn’t run.

Such good advice 💜

Hi @Somethingscanwait Ive not read the full thread as need to go out. I just wanted to say I understand your frustration and the dissonance between how you’d like to live and look and how you actually do. The sheer feelings about being overwhelmed with thoughts it’s impossible to change. It’s not. You’ve taken the first step in recognising you’d like to change. And you can one small step at a time. There is a LOSE IT! Thread that you’re very welcome to join. It’s been running a few years and the posters are the most lovely and supportive people who have been where you are. I’ve read about some fantastic transformations. This could be you next year! ❤️

I also love eating!

I suspect you are eating a lot of carbs and processed food - make a few substitutions- just make little changes here and there

never have full fat fizzy drinks and avoid cakes as they are soooooo high in sugar! You are probably addicted to sugar it’s what drives us right back to all the processed naughty stuff!

look into insulin resistance aswell

i mean you’ve not said if you eat much or give ab example of your daily food intake

I did exactly this. Maintained for 10 years.

Then lockdown came and I piled the weight on, and I now have 4st to lose.

I AM going to do it. I've done it before and I can do it again. But yes, the only way to do it is to change your whole way of living. If you want your weight and body to change, your life has to change.

I found it helpful to think of my weight loss journey as being a bit like a long journey in the car.
You’ve got a starting point, a clear route and a destination…but along the way you’re going to hit traffic jams, diversions, red lights, get lost and stop for a break. No journey will ever be a smooth A to B.
Long term weigh loss is like that. You will falter and experience delays. Be realistic about how long it is going to take. Yes, you’ll scupper an entire week in a single evening and yes, you will undo half a stone at Christmas. You’re only human. Take that into account and keep going. What’s important is not that you fall off the wagon, it’s that you get back on it. If you do, your resolve will eventually win out and the weight will slowly melt away. Best way to do it.

I also HATE exercise, so as a hobby I mean something you find fun, not necessarily exercise - eg painting, reading, working on something creative.

Also buy some gorgeous teas/special drinks (sparkling water and squash tastes just like pop without the calories) and treat yourself to them while doing the hobby you enjoy

Yes, I know where you're coming from. I don't have other 'vices'. I've never smoked and after pregnancy, alcohol gives me heartburn, so I rarely drink. But show me a huge plate of food and I struggle. It's not like I'm eating unhealthy things, I just want a lot of it. The struggle never goes away.

It’s true but I feel a bit like when I’ve lost weight in the past I need to have a good run first. So to take the long journey as an example, if I was driving from London to Edinburgh I’d need to at least get to Lincolnshire before stopping for the first time.

(I am probably taking this metaphor further than needed )

My big problem is after going back to work after baby no1 I just haven’t managed to even leave Derbyshire and in fact without meaning to have taken the scenic route back to London …

Jesus, some of the advice on here!
Hating yourself thin???
That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.
It might makenyou go the opposite way, but even if it doesn't, nothing ever hood can come from it. I worry about people sometimes.
Compassion and tolerance (not to be confused with self pity) is the way forward.

I'm the same. I'm short with short legs, I'm never going to be Linford Christie. But I'm a runner, not an elegant gazelle but still a runner

Stop complaining and do something about it, think of the example you are setting for your children.

Its my thread and I’ll complain if I want to

Hate yourself thin sounds like the sort of advice I used to encounter on pro anorexia websites. Horrendous.

😂

Quite!

Ah yes, because it's that easy isn't it?

Some of the comments on this thread are truly unbelievable.

I know. The thing is that even quite intense diets aren’t a click your fingers thin sort of thing. If I did Cambridge or something (I know it isn’t Cambridge now) I’d still be looking at a stone a month and so I’d be looking at end of March earliest for a healthy BMI.

I’ve also got a controversial tip for weight loss that people balk at but did very well for me.

Throw away your scales. Seriously.

Weighing yourself weekly or even monthly is sure fire way to disappointment, obsession and self-loathing. The fixation on the numbers is bad for you.

I went by my clothes. When they became too loose, I needed the next size down. I only actually weighed myself every three months or so and I did it on the accurate scales at the leisure centre instead of the shitty domestic ones at home.
Weigh fluctuates for many reasons. Mostly water retention but there are other factors that can contribute to temporary weight loss or gain on the daily.
When you think you’ve done well this week but the numbers tell you otherwise, it is really demotivating. That is where people often come undone. They think ‘what’s the point?’ and sink into a pizza.

When you cut out the self-flagellation of the numbers and stick to the reward of buying smaller clothes, you bypass that whole nuts-making element and carry on in blissful ignorance while it drips away.

@SingMeToSIeep well yes, it is actually. I used to be morbidly obese, depressed and in a binge eating cycle until I decided to do something about it.

I joined slimming world, started moving my fat ass and lost 8 stone. I’m now a size 10/12, healthy and enjoying life.

Stupid food, tasting so nice. 😡

I'm 5ft 1 and currently 12.5stone. Also feeling fat and fed up. Just started eating healthily yet again. I hope I can keep it up, at least till Christmas Day anyway! I also need to move more, but I prefer outdoor stuff like walking and cycling, and the weather has been so shit lately I've just been sitting at home. And eating.