To hate the fact I’m fat

[Somethingscanwait]

I was fat when I left school, fat when I graduated.

Fat in first pregnancy, fat at my wedding. Now pregnant again and fat.

I have had brief periods of being not-fat but I always put the weight back on

Fed up of being FAT!

Anything I’d enjoy would be too costly or inconvenient (or both) to do regularly.

I do it - when I’m in the right headspace - but I don’t enjoy it!

Honestly cutting out sugary drinks and walking more alone can make such a big difference over time if you haven't done these already. You could make these 2 changes and they become much easier over time while you keep the rest of your diet the same and you'd see huge changes.

I don't snack, I do eat nutritious meals, I don't view food as 'treats'. I don't exercise because I have rheumatoid arthritis, which as well as being very painful causes fatigue. I simply don't have the energy, even before you take into account the pain. My medication causes weight gain.

Also as I've said, restricting food is a very dangerous slippery slope for me.

DD is 25 and is perfectly well adjusted when it comes to food and eating.

So yes, it is true.

Food and eating, and issues around both, are not always as easily fixed by the 'eat less, move more' mantra, sadly.

And for a lot of people with disabilities losing some weight will help.improve the amount they are able to move.

I know because I was both disabled and morbidly obese. Yes I did have to push through often agonising pain to simply add a few steps to start with but as I lost weight the plan reduced some and it became easier to move.

Guess what, I still have pain everyday but I know full well that if I don't push through it, then it will get worse. My condition means that DOMS hits me harder and faster than people that don't have it. I often have DOMS the morning after a class, tbh I enjoy working out and pushing to my limits so much that I have almost forgotten what it's like not to have it.

It takes time for exercise to become rewarding, particularly when you’re completely out of the habit. It’s horrible for ages and then it clicks and you’re doing it and enjoying it. Trust.

@SingMeToSIeep But do you not have exercises to do to improve your mobility as part of therapy??
I don't have RA but I do have EDS, so I get a lot of the similar pain and fatigue. Still the more you sit around and do nothing the stiffer the joints will get and the more pain you'll be in when you move around.
It hurts, I get it, some mornings I feel like I'm walking on broken glass, some days the pain in my shoulder makes me feel.like throwing up. But if I don't exercise and work those joints then the pain just gets even worse and then it turns in to a vicious cycle.

I'm sorry but I just don't think you're in the right place right now to make the changes you need. Gonna be harsh here but all you keep coming up with is excuses and reasons why you can't.
Hey again I've been there, I've been at the point where I hated being fat but also had every possible reason why I couldn't. Its a mindset you need to get in to and you need to realise that it's not an instant answer, it's changes that you are going to need to keep up for the rest of your life (which is why most "diets" don't work).
When you are ready then start with small changes and set yourself small goals. Losing just 10% of your bodyweight can equal a huge improvement in your health.

You can call it making excuses or you can just take it as a conversation. This thread was going really nicely until you posted the above.

I feel the same op.

You're confusing osteoarthritis with rheumatoid arthritis, I think. My joints don't get stiffer if I don't move around - they are more painful after movement. I don't have physio.

I used to walk ten miles a day most days and was incredibly active. Having to accept my limitations has been very difficult; I use walking aids now, I've had to cut down on playing my musical instrument to the point where I now only play a few times a month rather than a few hours a day. It's heartbreaking.

Anyway I don't want to derail the OP's thread! I'm just illustrating that there sometimes isn't a straightforward fix for weight loss.

I think (though I'd need to check this) only 1% of people get back to a healthy weight when obese. It's incredibly over simplistic to say it's straight forward. Of course it is in theory but the stats say otherwise in practice.

I did lose weight in my 20s from obese to healthy and kept it off for 10 years. I was very much of the 'just move more, eat less'. The reality is for the first 3-4 years, I was painfully strict and disciplined and I don't know that I have the capacity for it now. Interestingly, for those first few years my self loathing was actually at it's worse.

It's only over lockdown I've put on substantial weight and I forgot how much harder everything is. For example, doing certain exercises (HIIT, running, etc) was just easier without all this extra weight and it creates another barrier to get started again. How joyless the little things I used to do were (plain chicken, fish to save calories on sauce. No butter on bread, etc).

I think when it comes to tackling weight there are two ways to do it -the first is the dieting/ extreme calorie restriction which can be sustainable but is miserable. The second is changing lifestyle and outlook but that takes time. I'm pregnant with DS2 right now so I'm not in a particular hurry to do anything about my weight as such, but I will use this time to remind myself of the healthier habits - that can just be going for regular walks and cooking nutritious meals again. I would caveat and say that it's only possible with good mental health to begin with though (which I think I have right now).

The other thing is you can’t always change your lifestyle. Work is definitely a trigger for me - I lose loads when I don’t have to work.

I would highly recommend having a look at Fitness Blender. There are plenty of free workout videos - www.fitnessblender.com/videos. Choose Low Impact or difficulty level 1-2. There is even a separate category for pre and post natal workouts, also free.

I have invested in one of the plans (paid £ equivalent to $12 or something insignificant like that), I did FB Strong. You get 4 weeks of structured workouts, rather than having to pick one every day yourself. This is how I started enjoying exercise. In my own home with nobody to judge me whilst I'm huffing, puffing, sweating and swearing. That was 4 years ago. I remember the fist day of those 4 weeks - I was seriously angry at how exhausting I found that 30 min workout to be. After two weeks I was looking forward to working out. After four weeks I bought another plan. Now I cannot imagine my life without exercise and I don't see it as a punishment for eating or a permission to eat.

Running is the most boring exercise there is, maybe apart from the cross-trainer. I genuinely don't understand how anyone enjoys it but each to their own and all that. You need to find a way to move your body that doesn't feel like a chore.

Good luck!

I’m 40 & fat

I hate it! I hate my body I hate the way I look, it makes me really depressed.

I wish I could blame over eating but I have some health conditions and have been on and off steroids for a long time which have piled on the weight and given me a moon face…

Every week I wake up with another plan in my head eat less, move more etc and by Wednesday I’m screwing it up. I’ve tried it all, gym calorie counting, slimming world, I’ve read the books I know what I should be doing but never actually do it.

I have lost around 12kg from an issue with my gallbladder but I’m still a fucking whale, I’m bigger now than when I was 38 weeks pregnant with an 11lb baby. It’s shit.

I personally think all of mine is psychological from having long term health issues.

Depends where you run. I’ve never been a road runner, can’t imagine chundering round the streets or the park.
I like scenery. My runs aren’t boring at all. They’re beautiful.

I’d have to drive somewhere in order to run - regardless, that’s going to be tricky even if I could run. Like I say when I’m in the headspace I do exercise, I just hate it!

I could have written your post, FAT/dumpy/chunky - however you want to put it from about 11 until this year, now mid 40’s. Took the plunge and had a gastric bypass, by no means the “easy way out” but a huge learning curve and change.
I absolutely wish I’d done it earlier, has changed my life in every way possible for the better.

What a weird way of expressing things. "strict", "not allowed" - wtf? Sounds like they treat pregnant women like toddlers.

Exercise is just part of it, if you really hate it you're never going to stick at it or give it your all. I lost 4 stone with chronic pain and I was only doing pilates... It was more about my diet. Is there any type of movement you enjoy? Dancing to the radio? Yoga at home? Swimming?

Do you have any public footpaths near you?
If so, you don't need to run, quite honestly walking the same distance is just as good as far as burning calories goes even if it isn't as good as cardio. You could go for a walk and take in the scenery and wildlife. If you're not running you won't need any special equipment, a pair of wellies is enough. If you do want to try a jog then trail shoes are pretty much a must in the winter

Go to plotaroute and you should be able to see all the available footpaths, bridleways and roads in your area and plot yourself circular route of just a couple of miles.
You will need to wrap up, maybe take a flask of tea and I would recommend downloading what3words to your phone. Take your time, take photos, maybe embrace your inner Peppa Pig and jump in some puddles.

It's still "exercise" but maybe won't feel so much like exercise.

When am I supposed to do this? At night? Weekends, taking my one year old with me?

And no, no footpaths within walking distance if I have said one year old with me which I almost always do.

You can lose weight without any exercise at all.

I'm a single mum and when ds was small, I used to wait until he was asleep - 7pm - and then run up and down the road outside. Always kept the house in view and a window open so I could hear a smoke alarm. It kept the neighbours entertained!

To start with I was so unfit, I could only manage about 40m. Now I can run 10k although it took me five years. It isn't fun. There's a sense of achievement and I'm much fitter and have heaps more energy.

If you want to do it, you will.

Yes, weight loss is definitely 90% what you eat: I was running 50 plus miles a week for years, plus cycling and swimming: Over the course of the last few years I still managed to gain 4kgs: I had a foot operation 4 weeks ago, so just a little walking and one hour of Pilates with You tube as exercise: I've been more careful about what I eat (no snacks and only a little chocolateà and have lost 3kg since the operation a month ago: Whan I was doing lots of cardio I was hungry, the lack of activity has led to a loss of appetite so natural to eat less:

Yes take the 1yo with you. You cannot seriously be trying to say there is absolutely nowhere you could take the 1yo out for a walk. If you live in the country with no pavements then there will be footpaths, if you live in an urban area then there will be pavements. Either way there will be somewhere you can go for a walk, there is always something to look at with a toddler (even if you won't find it that interesting). If the 1yo is walking then put wellies and a puddle suit on them, let them jump in puddles, squelch through mud. Even if they're in a stroller then you can hunt for post boxes, look for red cars, etc etc etc