To hate the fact I’m fat

[Somethingscanwait]

I was fat when I left school, fat when I graduated.

Fat in first pregnancy, fat at my wedding. Now pregnant again and fat.

I have had brief periods of being not-fat but I always put the weight back on

Fed up of being FAT!

And you did that in a morning, @AperolWhore ? Course you didn’t. Months, years more likely.

I have lost 8 stone and it has involved a LOT of change and a different mindset. You have to change your current beliefs in order to do it, and that’s very hard and why a lot of people fail (it took me 20 years of trying and failing to actually do it)

you have to be mindful, active and consistent and it’s hard. But the pay off is SO WORTH IT. My life is a million times better now I’ve lost the excess weight.

you have to be very honest with yourself and stop the excuses (this is what I found very hard!) and push on every day. I walk 15k steps a day, go to the gym a lot, eat smaller portions and focus on protein. It’s actually about self care and putting yourself first. I had to find new ways to deal with stress (comfort ate before) new ways for family meals that we could all enjoy, prioritise exercise (use breakfast clubs To do couch to 5k before work)

it’s hard but so worth it!

If your relationship with food is problematic, no, it's not as easy as just going on a diet. For me, counting calories is a surefire way to trigger my anorexia, which I've spent years recovering from. For others it's a surefire way to become obsessed with what they eat, which is counter productive.

There is absolutely no one size fits all easy solution - if there were, we'd all have healthy BMIs and a healthy relationship with eating/food.

@Somethingscanwait it took around 11 months as the losses slowed after the first three months.

I lost 4 stone in the first three months and the remaining 4 stone took 8 months to come off.

It is doable and achievable if you want to.

Also, some people can't move their 'fat ass'.

I know it’s doable and achievable - not sure about during pregnancy though - as I’ve done it and achieved it. No one is trying to claim losing weight is impossible. However, what it is not is instantaneous. And there are all sorts of reasons as to why losing it can be very difficult.

Obviously you don't want to diet as such because of the baby but have you thought of using Nutracheck or something similar?
I use the app, it's not expensive but it means I have a food diary on my phone which links with my fitbit.
It has a barcode reader so it's really easy and you can set the nutrient goals to whatever you want. I just have mine set to the Well Balanced setting. I find I eat healthier if I'm logging it all.

@SingMeToSIeep so don’t count calories, focus on eating healthy and cutting back on junk food or treats.

And EVERYONE has the ability to move more unless they have a disability. If you struggle to walk you can do upper body or seated exercises.

You don’t need to hammer the gym to lose weight, small changes make a huge difference.

It’s not an all or nothing solution just eat a bit less and move a bit more to start with.

If you're near the Hope Valley and fancy some walking/chatting, please PM me - I find it's much easier to walk if (a) someone else is depending on your to come out; and (b) chatting keeps your mind off the fact that it's tiring and boring!
With or without small children (buggy?).

@Somethingscanwait just eat a bit less and move a bit more, pregnancy yoga, gentle walks, some light arm weights whilst sitting down etc and focus on eating healthy food to nourish the baby. Small steps

Eat less is really not good advice though, is it? If you’re eating ten mars bars a day, eating nine isn’t really going to make a discernible difference! Anyway, it’s been a nice thread so far - be a shame to niggle at one another.

I hear you about the running. And the exercise. I hate exercise! And I just feel like an idiot when I have forced myself to go out for a run (probably all of 6 times in my whole life).

Then I read something on here a while back. Someone had got one of those mini trampolines and just jogged on that. So I got one, and its brilliant. I can jog along on that thing for 20 minutes while I watch something on TV (because exercise is boring). sometimes I just jump about on it a bit. Sometimes I just hop on it for 15 minutes still in my jeans. I just fit it into the day somewhere. And I've recently now joined a class locally for some hit stuff as I'm definitely getting fitter.
And its actually quite fun!

So maybe not ideal while you're pregnant in case you fall off. I know my balance was all over during pregnancy, but maybe soemthing to think about after baby is born. You can start as gentle as you like, even just walking on it, and its very low impact on joints etc, and build it up from there.

Aperol, it really isn't that simple. I've tried since January this year to lose weight by running at least three times a week and doing brisk walks on top. Some weeks I manage more than others. Also tried eating less and replacing some meals with Slimfast shakes etc, but with little results. What I managed to lose came back mostly and it was painstakingly slow. I struggle with feeling really hungry, I start feeling sick and it affects my mood.

I strongly strongly recommend the book called “Intuitive Eating”. In fact I would love for half of the people on this thread to read it.

You have to flip your entire thinking on its head.
Reading it has made me finally tackle my terrible relationship with food and my body.

Despite what some people are saying here another diet and just more “willpower” is NOT what you need. It just doesn’t work.

If you hate your body, how will you ever treat it with love and kindness?

If you hate yourself and your body, you will only use diets as another form of punishment and you will always be at war with yourself.

send me a PM if you ever want to talk!

You don't need to run,you can walk really briskly instead.

One statement that I always think of is 'losing weight is hard, being overweight is hard- pick your hard'.

Evidence upon evidence shows that diets do not work- most people regain the weight and often more. Lifestyle changes are what will work and stick long term.

There is no such thing as a 'bad' or 'naughty' food and demonising any types of foods just makes you more likely to binge on them. Instead, treat your body as though you love it and think what will be good for it, fuel it with what will do it good (so focus on increasing your fibre with tons of veg, fruit and whole grains, plus plenty of lean protein- that will keep you feeling full) and move as much as you can, as our bodies are made to move. But if you really fancy that bar of chocolate or a slice of cake just have it- it doesn't mean you're weak, or that you will never lose weight. Cakes and chocolate are designed to be delicious and it's absolutely fine to eat them as long as you're getting plenty of good nutrition in your body and not just eating cake/chocolate then it's fine to have.

Try to find some kind of movement that you enjoy, but if you don't then you can always fake it until you make it! Again, think of what will be good for your body- we know that weights can help keep your bones and muscles healthy into older age so some sort of strength work will be good for your body- there's an app called the 7 minute workout that has a mix of bodyweight and cardio work- you can start with one repetition and then add more as you get fitter. But just dancing round the house can be good, or never taking the lift/escalator when you could walk. Just add in as much extra movement as you can until it feels natural.

Can you use your pregnancy to change your mindset OP? Ie instead of thinking that 'going on a diet' might be harmful to the baby, look at it the other way.

You're growing a human being. You want that human being to be growing with the best possible ingredients. Just as if you were growing a plant - you start them off in the best possible compost with all the right nutrients.

So do the same for your baby. Only eat something if it's going to good for it. Eg - poached eggs on toast for breakfast, a bowl (or 3 if hungry!) of homemade soup for lunch, chilli, roast with veg, sausage casserole etc for dinner. All these things will fill you up.

Your baby doesn't need Monster Munch or Mars Bars. Tell yourself you can eat as much as you like but whatever it is the baby has to thank you for it.

I wish you lots of luck whatever you do OP.

I was talking about myself - I do have a disability (rheumatoid arthritis). Also a history of eating disorders.

None of the advice you've offered would work for me unfortunately.

No, it’s not change who you are, it’s change how you eat! Eating unhealthily/too much and being overweight is not a personality trait. You’ll still be you.

What are you hoping to get out of this thread OP? No shade. Just want to know if you're venting out of frustration, want to speak to kindred souls or want to be given a solution...

I’ve already got a lot from the thread, thanks.

I'm the same OP.

I have has some success with this approach which is very simple, no complicated counting etc - fasting 16-8 so I only eat at 12pm and am done 8pm, first meal protein carbs and veg (rice and potatoes ok, breads and pasta not) - fruit or yoghurt afternoon, and evening is beg and protein. Lots of water and black coffee or tea until after the fasting window. I follow the 80/20 rule so ease up at the weekends and try and get at least 10,000 steps a day.

@SingMeToSIeep well that’s not true is it? All of the advice I’ve offered could be implemented in small changes.

Cut back on treats and eat more nutritious meals instead of snacks etc you could do some gentle exercises sat down.

You will only change if you want to but think of the example you are setting for your children and how this will impact them in the future.

Good post Pereniallymessy I agree with every word.

It doesn’t have to be running…it can be anything. I have a pal who boosted her lifestyle change by hula-hooping with a weighted hoop. She really good at it now, still does it.
Another friend swims 50 lengths three times a week. I’d be bored stiff after 10 but she goes into a trance and zones out. She finds it very soothing as well as good exercise.
It’s about what suits you…how you view yourself. I actually took up trail running because I’m predominantly a hillwalker and I wanted to gain strength and stamina for that. The running became its own thing as I got fitter and more relaxed doing it. I really enjoy it now.

Maybe you’d enjoy playing badminton? Or line dancing? Or cycling?