To think our expectations of childbirth are too high?

[RimmersLoveMonster]

Just that really. It’s inherently agonisingly painful and dangerous, but a lot of posters seem to be surprised that it is and feel traumatised afterwards. I think our expectations around birth are unrealistic and that women are being sold a fantasy by ‘positive birth’ companies and pictures of pools with twinkly lights etc. This then leads to disappointment when their experience doesn’t go that way. AIBU?

I don’t think you can warn people properly without scaring them and that’s not good either is it.?!
I didn’t think it was quite that bad though, just the head part when it felt like my clitoris was ripping apart and I panicked thinking something was wrong… that they could have warned but I guess we all feel thing differently. I’ve heard people say a burning sensation but that’s not how it felt to me at all….

I feel that there’s way too much emphasise put on having a drug free vaginal birth as the gold standard. Why, I’m not sure, but I’ve not met anyone who’s not had a story of physical or mental pain.

I had an elcs and it had its drama. Now admittedly I ended up with pnd, but I felt like a complete and utter failure because I’d not even tried to birth my DTs ‘naturally’ I just went straight to a section. I know I made the right choice for the three of us, but I really wish that society would encourage any kind of birth as normal rather than a section being ‘less than’ and looked down on.

Whichever way you go, giving birth is beautiful, magical, painful and pretty shit all at the same time, and that’s if you’re lucky enough for everyone to make it out of it alive.

Actually I have had 2 drug free vaginal births. I had mild backache with both. My oldest was a forceps delivery as he started to get into distress ( we joke that he's continued as a bit of a drama queen) . I was told I wasn't in labour twice as I had no pain across my stomach and couldn't say I was having contractions. I didn't have PND, I breastfed with no issues, I didn't feel overwhelmed. I'm sorry that I'm 'one of those mums' but really I think my lack of problems after the birth was because I have been around babies for all of my life and knew it could be hard work.And I sleep trained the oldest.
There is no right way to give birth, it really is about the safety of mother and child, no woman should feel a failure. My experiences are mine and down to ,luck/ genetics I don't know what else.