AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

What have I just read!? You’ve gotta be trolling! Come back to us when you have a 3 year old swinging round your neck until 12am every night without any “you time” whatsoever 😂😂

My 3 year old goes to bed at 8pm and wakes at 8am most mornings. Kids need good sleep and routine, not to be running round the house until 12am 😂😂😂

Our 15 week old likes to sleep from 6.30 pm. He does stay downstairs with us until 10.30, waking for a late feed usually. Yes sometimes he is awake at 2am for a feed, and we are up at 6am anyway. I can't see that keeping him awake in the evening would help any if he's tired. He gets cranky enough if he misses his lunchtime nap.

What have I just read!? You’ve gotta be trolling! Come back to us when you have a 3 year old swinging round your neck until 12am every night without any “you time” whatsoever 😂😂

My 3 year old goes to bed at 8pm and wakes at 8am most mornings. Kids need good sleep and routine, not to be running round the house until 12am 😂😂😂

Do you know what the definition of a routine is?

My 4yo goes to bed at a similar time to me. 11pm-12am. What's your point?

You lie in bed until 11am every day?! No school or pre school or a job on the scene then?? That’s setting them up great for their future, what an example well done 🙄

Yep, the only jobs that exist are 9-5. Oh, wait

Yup. Makes no sense. Of course they're waking up at 5am if you put them to bed so early lol always seemed like a no brainer to me. But people don't want to hear it for some reason and enjoy the struggle.

Good luck getting into a routine when your baby is use to going to bed at midnight. You think you have it easy wait for 4 months plus and teething to come. You seriously need to sort this routine of yours out midnight is far to late

Someone likes their lie-ins; I’d stick Gina Ford on your Santa list. Kids eventually start sleeping through the night, maybe waking circa 7am (some slightly earlier, others slightly later). The point is to establish good sleeping habits (not up late in the evening, everyone sleeping in their own beds, etc) prior to early years/school.

Exactly what happened to friends. They had a heck of a job once they had to go to work / DC to nursery.

Never had a routine and all my kids turned out fine. I do make them wind down and go to bed at 10pm but they don't really fall asleep. They do well in school and everything and my babies now are absolutely fine without one. They fall asleep and awake after 8 hours of sleep routineless. Not a word but.....🤣

I totally agree

My 4yo goes to bed at a similar time to me. 11pm-12am. What's your point?

What will you do when they start school and have to be up probably at about 7.30am to get there in time? Children who are up late as toddlers can struggle a lot to adapt to earlier bedtimes and waketimes, I'd start trying to shift across sooner rather than later. Don't kid yourself that you can all fall out of bed at 8.25 and be at the gate 15 mins later, those are the families that are late every single day.

Go to sleep earlier.

I think that as like the other comments on here you haven’t experienced the dreaded sleep regressions yet ! So once that happens you will understand ! 🙈

I have two children now 7 and 3 and from a very young age we started a good bedtime routine As there is no way I would still want to be up with my children at midnight 😱

just because children go to bed early does not mean they then wake up early hours in morning!

they are both now fantastic with bed and my 3 year old even asks to go to bed usually around 6.30 as he is so tired from running around all day and he Dorris through until about 6.30 so a full 12 hours and my 7 year old is in bed by 7.30 no fuss and again up at 6.30 to get ready for school !

i definitely prefer to have an evening with my husband and some time to just breathe without children still running around at 10pm !

I replied earlier, but just a thought - there are guidelines for how much sleep children need at various ages, Google will bring up more than one site to look at. These are of course only guidelines, not set in stone, but useful to refer to. In my experience, a regular night time routine, keeping it the same every evening (for me that was bath, storytime, bed) helps a lot. It's like the child's body knows that this is settling down time and they're ready for sleep. I always read stories to my children when they were in bed, not beforehand, so they could cuddle up and feel warm and comfortable. They would often drift off to sleep before the story was ended.

I didn't mind the fact that a 7pm bedtime meant they would be up around 6am. I actually quite liked the early mornings, when it felt like it was just me and them, having a gentle start to the day with cuddles and breakfast. Obviously as they grew older and started school, it was great that they were awake, dressed and breakfasted by 7.15am, as it meant we were never late.

I hope OP doesn't feel 'got at' by the comments here as I'm sure they're all meant to be helpful - but just flagging up issues which might not seem apparent now.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11453149/Mum-sparks-debate-admitting-puts-3-month-old-baby-bed-midnight.html

Same here (although it’s 15 years experience in my case). We never managed the early bedtime, but then we also never had kids waking up at 5 am.

My mother in law and sister in law both put their children to bed at 5.30pm which I always thought was ridiculously early. Mind you, my sister in law always did what her mother told her to do.

3 month old! Hahahahahaha. U wait!

Comments on there echo those on here

I can't keep my 5 month old up much past 6!! Drives me bonkers as I'd prefer a later bed time. My 4 year old goes up at 7, asleep by 8, which he's pretty much done since a baby too I feel like they set their own bedtime most of the time!

Can't you just let her sleep downstairs then until you're ready to go up after her next feed?

LOL at trying to give parenting advice with a 3-month-old!

You sweet, sweet summer child. Just wait.

Thats what we do. Tell a lie we take him up cos he won't fall asleep downstairs without screaming bloody murder first🤣 then bring him back down once the eldest is in bed and cuddle until we go to bed. I meant I'd prefer HIM to have a later bedtime aha. Alas he is a cat napper so think he's shattered by 6

What does it have to do with you ?

I remember being put to bed in the summer when it was still light, hearing other kids playing in the avenue and being bitter and resentful (as much as a 5 year old can). Only later did I realise I'd been put to bed to give my parents some (well-deserved) peace and quiet.