AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

🙏

Hilarious
wait until 4 month regression, separation anxiety and all the other things sent to try us.

wait until 2nd comes along and you’ll feel like you are starting over again because all baby’s are different, and what works for one doesn’t for another. You’ll learn all over again what works and what doesn’t.

Thats when the penny will drop and you’ll realise that other parents do it differently because that works for them and their baby!

Trust me once your baby is mobile and wrecking the place you’ll want them ready for bed at 6:30 😂. Three month olds are easy!. My 2.5 & nearly 5 year old get ready for bed at 6:30 and are asleep by 7/7:15. They sleep right through until 6:30 (which is the time we need to up for during the week anyway).

You are following the practice of many Japanese people....who put their children to bed around 10pm to midnight....for a full nights sleep. I had three kids and now have three grandkids. We were not particularly strict on bedtimes...and honestly....the advice changes for every generation...we decided to breast feed each baby for as long as they liked...they weaned themselves. We also decided to only have rules for a good reason... so bedtimes were only relevant regarding the way the child felt next day. So they could be late to bed if there were no knock on problems at school with tiredness or poor behaviour. We found our kids pretty much got into their own routine. Do what works for you....and dont worry about listening to detractors. My children were brought up with less structure than other children but are all professionals, happy and well balanced.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA 3 months HAHAHAAAA. Just you wait until the 4 month sleeper regression. And also until you have some parenting experience beyond 3 months.

Dinner, bath, milk and cbeebies, bed time with story. Evening to myself from about 7.30pm. Was definitely needed after a long day with young children! They slept through ùntil 7/8ish. But this was toddlers onwards. Babies change routine a lot for the first few months. Wish my teens still went to bed at 7pm 🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @October2020 you've killed me with that comment 😭😭😭😭😭 ...3 months 😂😂😂 I can't

Haha that’s a very good point! I’m so jealous of these people who have sleeping babies and children!

Wait, you're giving out unasked-for parenting advice based on 3 months experience? Come back when your baby is 18 🤣 for what it's worth I was one of those idiots putting my babies to bed at 7pm at 3 months old, and they slept through til 7 or 8am. I wasn't a parenting expert, I was just jolly lucky and I never spoke of it at the time as no-one else wants to know!

My kids always went to bed by 7pm until the age of around 8 years old, when it got extended to 8pm. Stayed at that for a couple of years. My youngest didn't sleep through until she was 2 years old, regardless of what time she was put to bed, but at three she would be asking for bed at 6.30am and would be out for the count at 7pm, sleeping until 6am. Worked for us.

Because I'm done and my kids can't tell the time yet

I agree with you but to each their own. My daughter isn't on any schedule right now but that suits me just fine. I'm a night owl and will be starting the night shift soon. So she sleeps most the day and will be up while I'm at work. Works out fine for us. Bedtimes really are impractical to me at such a young age. I tried the routine stuff, bath book and bed but it doesn't work so I let them do whatever entertains them til they fall asleep. I have an 8 month a 2 year old.

At three months your babies circadian rhythym hasn’t fully matured. It won’t necessarily remain how your nights are now. So I wouldn’t be judging others.

Also an early bedtime (6/6.30pm for babies and toddlers) can often help solve early wakes. Ask any sleep specialist.

Haha sorry another one here to say are we correct in that you are giving out parenting advice after 3 months... you have no idea what’s to come I’m afraid!

This thread is hilarious 🤣 you have a lot to learn OP.

You have older kids too right?? Or are you really giving this golden advice to parents after being in charge of a baby for a couple of months??

Some kids are good sleepers, some aren't. My daughter woke up several times a night til she was four. No matter what bedtime she had. I was frazzled to say the least. Now at 8 she sleeps 8 til 6 am.

Ah the all knowing first time parent of a 3 month old who questions what us veterans are doing 😅

It sounds like you've been lucky and have a little sleeper on your hands, as do I.

Don't kid yourself for a second that it's because of anything you (or I!) caused!!

You could very well have another and it have you up at 5am every day for 10 years regardless of what time you put them down!

People at baby groups must fucking LOVE you.

My 2 boys are 22 and 17 both slept through from being a week old i was lucky they hated being woke for a feed during the night so just let them sleep only time i disturbed them was a nappy change if needed but not everyones babies are the same and people have different routines x

I'm with you on this one. My 2x DS go to bed based on when I want to wake up the next day!

I also don't get people who put their primary school aged kids to bed at 6.30pm then complain they wake up at 4.30am....

I’m sure most parents with babies who wake early have tried the whole put them to bed later to make them sleep in. In our case it makes no difference whatsoever, we still get a 5.30 wake up. After a few days with have an overtired toddler who stops sleeping through the night. We’ve accepted an early bed and early wake suits our child at the moment

😂 This! 😂😂