AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

[October2020]

Just checking, you're giving out parenting advice based on your experience of... 3 months?

Fwiw my daughter goes up at 7 for sleep at 8, but I wouldn't be bold enough to suggest to anyone else that that's the right way to do it...!!

[MithrilCostsMore]

My kids always went to bed at 6/6.30 until they were about six years old. They always slept through until 7am.

[RunLolaRun102]

It’s because from 3 months you are supposed to give them a structured routine they can follow as they get older. We started putting DS to bed at 8pm from 3 mths. Yes he woke frequently but as he got older it got easier and by 5 months he was sleeping from 8-8 with just one feed at midnight.

[KnickerlessParsons]

Because people want adult time in the evenings, and also because it's best to start a bedtime routine early so that it doesn't become an issue when they get older.

[Slanty]

Oh sweet summer chile.

[girlmom21]

Let us know how baby gets on when we get the light nights again.

[Zooeyzo]

This made me laugh OP. Wait a few years before giving suggestions.
I put my kids to sleep at 8 now at 4 and 7 but at 3 months I remember big sleep disruptions and again at 9 months.

[Beees]

You're 3 months in with a unicorn baby who sleeps 8 solid hours a night...

I sincerely hope you don't count all your chickens at this present moment because the odds of that still being the case in a few months is very very unlikely.

You're experience differs from about 99 % of other parents experiences and you'd be mad to think you knew best just because you lucked out with a dream newborn. The other parents are doing what works for them, theres no need to be so judgemental.

[Somuchgoo]

You've totally cracked this parenting thing at 3m.

For what it's worth, my eldest would do 7.30-10:30, then sleep until about 6, quick feed and up for the day at 8.

Then the 4m regression hit, and 5 years later she still doesn't sleep through 😂

Foot what is worth, I agree somewhat about the early bed, but it's often a subconscious choice people make to either have a longer evening, or a later morning.

[Catsonskis]

Lol wait for the 4 month sleep regression and come back and talk to us then!
and again at the 8 month sleep regression.

[ShirleyPhallus]

My 3 month old goes to bed at 8 and sleeps until 5.30. Id die if I was going to bed at 12.30am every night

[AriettyHomily]

Good luck either the regressions!

[DuplicateUserName]

Most parents I know are only just getting home from work around 6 - 6.30pm do that wouldn't work for them but each to their own.

[DuplicateUserName]

*so

[Emmamoo89]

My son has slept through since 11 weeks. Occasionally wakes up once but goes straight back down. Would never put him down too late. Goes to bed either half 8 or 9

[vodkaredbullgirl]

Just wait, when you think you have cracked it. A spanner in the works is thrown in and it goes out the window.

[lakswupos]

The amount of stuff I thought I was an expert about with my first, second came a long and got rid of all of those misconceptions 😂

[Maria1982]

Because a 3 month old sleeps differently to an 8 month old (age of my baby currently), and I presume differently again to a 2 year old. Number of naps, feeding… it all changes super quickly.

[Bronzeisthecolour]

@October2020

Just checking, you're giving out parenting advice based on your experience of... 3 months?

Fwiw my daughter goes up at 7 for sleep at 8, but I wouldn't be bold enough to suggest to anyone else that that's the right way to do it...!!

This! 3 months 🤣🤣

[Helpmeheal]

Also because some couples actually like an evening with no children... even if they do wake after midnight.
Horses for courses. We've always preferred to get ours to bed by 7pm.

[Disneyblueeyes]

Wow what a judgey thread, and I'm not just talking about the OP.

[cavily1806]

Oh OP! Good luck. Take cover 🙈

[willithappen]

I understand what you are saying and think you are getting some stick here

It's about how much sleep they need at this stage. Generally they need that 12 hours so if your day needs to start at 7am ish then you need to start bed around then
Otherwise you end up waking them too early and knocking them off sleep

[DixonD]

Mine has never gone to bed before 8pm, and only at 8pm when she stopped napping in the day. Before that she wasn’t ready for sleep until 10.30-11pm at night, sometimes later. She slept 10-12 hours still. Lovely lie ins for me!

She’s always been an owl and even now she’s 6 she’s never asleep before 9pm.

[PoorlyPooch]

@October2020

Just checking, you're giving out parenting advice based on your experience of... 3 months?

Fwiw my daughter goes up at 7 for sleep at 8, but I wouldn't be bold enough to suggest to anyone else that that's the right way to do it...!!

This 😂😂😂