AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

Lol what's sleep?

Awww bless. You have one at 3 months.

I have 3 at 15, 11 and 7

They have school. They have decent bedtimes.

Do what works for you. You'll always see things you don't agree with or want to put into practise. As long as you're happy and baby is happy dw about what others are doing. There is no right and no wrong just what works for your family best 🥰

Babies at a young age have their own schedule but start to adapt to our schedule. We put our kids to bed early so they get some real sleep when your child is 4 and needing to set off for school at 8-8.30 poor kid isn't going to know what's hit them. You will realise you are not just a mother, you are a person too that has your own needs and trust me having time to relax by yourself once kids are in bed is like heaven. We love them but for our own mental health we need adult time. I have 3 children. One is now 14 and goes to bed 10.30-11 but isn't in the room with us he goes to his room no later than 10 as the rest of the time is mine and his dad's time. From 3mths he was sleeping through 6.30-7pm til 7am. At 14 he's up at 5am without fail no matter how late he goes to sleep. My now 2yr old goes between 6.30-7pm and isn't up til 8ish the next morning. My 7mth old goes at 7pm and gets up at 6am for a bottle goes straight back to sleep til 9am. You either have a child that sleeps or you don't. I'm blessed and know I'm lucky but wait until your baby is older and you'll know why people put their children to bed early 🤣😂🤣.

Ah the parenting advice off of someone who's been a parent for a couple of seconds in comparison to everyone else 🙄

13 year old teenager, can sleep for 12/14 hours easily regardless of time they go to bed

4 year old, will be awake at 6:30am whether he goes to bed at 6pm, 7pm, 11pm or even midnight.

No experience parent needs or wants your opinions, come back when you've been doing it years.

😂 nice one OP you have set them all off 👌

It depends completely on age, my 2.5 year old goes to bed at 7pmish and sleeps til about 7am. No naps during day.

When you’ve been a mum for 12 weeks and think you’re in a position to judge others
🤣🙈

I agree. Often kids are put to bed early because it's for the parents' benefit, not the children's. But don't be surprised if the DC are wide awake halfway through the night.

All children are different. Just because your child sleeps through (lucky you), doesn’t mean it’ll work for every other child. Enjoy it now, as it may (will) change and if you have another child it maybe different. I don’t think there’s any 100% right or wrong way to rear a child, it’s all about striking the best balance for you and your child

Actually I agree with you OP but it's an unspoken rule that you're not allowed to say it! I think it's a UK thing.

Yuh, this is a generally unhelpful statement to compare 3 month old with other children- you just get through how you can, and it works for the Op at the moment. At 3 months I think I did the same, then they started going down earlier at 6 months plus as their sleeping pattern lengthened out.

What I could not do is get up at 5 with toddlers- I don’t see much difference between 5am and 3am, I’d do sleep routine again or sleep in their room, but I do not function before 7, not happening!

Indeed! 😂

I agree with you op.

I think it’s a waste of life but just my opinion.

DD is 4 months old. We generally start bedtime at 6pm and she’ll be asleep by 8pm most nights. We started a proper night time routine around 7 weeks. Before that we tried putting to bed after 8pm and she would scream until midnight. An early night works for us because she actually goes down well, any later and we have to fight it. She stirs for a feed around 10/11pm, 2-4am, 6-7am before waking up for the day around 8am. She rarely fully wakes up in the night and we are all in a much better mood in the morning.

Official safe sleep advice is that under 6 months, baby should sleep alone, and should always be in a room with someone when sleeping. I did this with my daughter, who admittedly isn’t a great sleeper, and now she’s a year we start bedtime routine at 7, and she’s usually down for 7.45. We do it earlier when we feel she needs it and later if she’s not ready. But this is rare. At 3 month we did the routine but at the time we were going to bed

Why on earth would you want to go to bed at 12am every night?! I need a full night sleep, my 4 year old goes to bed at around 6.30/7 and wakes at around 6.30/7. I get a few hours to myself and usually go to sleep around 9.30/10.

I never understood the complaints of being woken at six when you've put your kids to bed at seven. I used to put mine to bed at nine so I'd be woken at eight. As they got older and needed less sleep and to get up earlier, we adjusted it. It meant my husband could get in and read a story rather than coming home to a child already asleep.

Pahahahahaha, there's nothing quite like the zeal of the newly converted.

Because everyone else whose children are going to bed at 7pm are bonking the night away - did they forget to tell you this bit 🤣🤣🤣

Omg!!!! Is this post for real? Do have at least one more child and come back in here and let’s us know how is going 😂

For those struggling with a child that doesn’t sleep please just carry on doing what you are doing. Some just don’t sleep. You will receive no end of advice but at some point they will sleep or be old enough that they won’t interrupt your sleep.

As a nanny of twenty plus years I can tell you for a fact your three month olds bedtime will change with their growing needs band development
every family /child needs and routine is also different

also
the rule also was /is
12 hours in bed 10 asleep ..
obviously this time shifts as they grow ..
im thinking 0-5 years
in a few months please come back and let us know what time your baby is going to bed
we need updates regularly 😜

Let us know how you get on when the 4m sleep regression hits OP 😂

Impressive this has got to 21 pages with no input from op 😂