AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

Mine slept from 7-7 from 6 weeks, with a dream feed at 11. Dropped the dream feed at 6 months. Is now a grumpy tween. But she was a massive pain in the ass all day every day so I never once thought I was winning at this baby lark; I needed that bloody sleep!

Personally the idea of putting a baby to bed at midnight seems bonkers at best as I liked to have my evenings but I wouldn’t judge you or anyone else who chose to do it. You do you, etc.

When my DD was your DC's age, she didn't go to sleep until 11ish at night. But once she got older, around a year, 18 months I started putting her to bed around 8/9 and once she started going to school she was in bed around 7:30/800. I needed some me/adult time else I would've been a truly horrible parent.

This ^ 👏

My kids never went to bed at 6-7, ever. They also never needed as much sleep as was always recommended, they still don’t now they are almost adults

AIBU to wonder why you're putting your baby to bed so late?

From about 3 months old, our daughter was in bed for 6:30ish and she's slept through from 8 weeks old. Every child is different. Please don't judge others based on 3 months experience

Sorry but you are very new to parenthood. My DD slept through from 6 weeks 7.30pm dream feed around 11 then up at 8am. She did wake around the age of 2-3 multiple times per night . Kids need a routine at some point for when they start school etc. My DD now aged 9 goes to bed at 8.30- 9pm and wakes up at 7- 7.30 am for school . Lies in until 11 on the weekend 🤣🤣

You’re a few weeks in. Parenting hasn’t even begun to fuck you yet.

Why do people use sleep like it’s a flex?

luckily most of the people commenting here are full of experience and know full well how much you’ll cringe one day knowing you wrote this op.

You’ve pushed a few buttons here! You do what works for you your baby and it sounds like your system is working great.

Totally agree. And my two are aged 20 and 18!
Bonkers to put babies to bed early then moan when they wake in the wee small hours. It's not as if they have school or work the next day.
Both of hours slept for a solid 6 hours minimum from 6 weeks old.

3 months in and so much to learn. Put it out there and vanished.

This must be a joke

😆😆

Come back to us once the four month sleep regression has hit.

My DD was my first born and she slept 8pm-8am from 3 months. Never changed. We were just very lucky.
My DS's came along a few years after my DD and they were both a nightmare. Didn't sleep at all how ever much we tried with a routine, different times etc. They were balls of energy.Ended up in our bed with us so we would get some sleep. Against the book so to speak. When they started school, they slept and now all my 3 DC's are older, I can't get them out of their beds.

When ds (now 5) was 9 weeks he slept through for the first time. And hasn’t stopped. Gets a solid 10 hours or so every night. It’s amazing.

dd (age 3) is the complete opposite. Although we are seemingly down to one wake up a night now.

I think it really depends on what works for your family. We all need to be out of the house by 7.30am, so sleeping past 6.30am wouldn’t work for us anyway. I have two children who sleep all night and wake around 6.30am naturally which is perfect for us. The youngest has for some reason set her clock all wrong and prefers 9pm-8am, so is permanently grumpy and tired as I have to wake her up every single morning. We’re working on it but she just won’t go down before 8.30pm at the earliest. Whatever works for each individual baby and parents is fine by me.

I understand what you say, op. I didn't put mine to bed early, they went up with us and we all slept well. It was nice us being together in the evening, downstairs, and eating together at the table from an early age.

You have to do what is right for you and the baby/child, they are all different. I let the baby lead.

My kid has never gone to bed early. Breast-fed on demand, when small. Co-slept until 2.5. Typically wakes between 8 & 9am, sometimes slumbers on. Naps whenever he’s tired. Eats when he’s hungry.

I haven’t read any parenting books & don’t care what others are doing. Including my sister / friends. My little guy is doing great. And is really happy, too. Works for us. Do whatever you think is right for your baby.

Yeah my 14 month old is up at 6am every day wether his gone to bed at 6.30pm or midnight. He hardly sleeps during the day and his full on so by 6.30 quite frankly I’m exhausted! I’m glad your baby sleeps well. So does my first child, however you might not be so judgy if you have a second who isn’t the same 😊not all babies and children are the same, I’ve tried everything with my second, quite frankly his just a high energy child and lacks the ability to rest, more than likely ADHD as it runs in the family ( I’m also a pants sleeper and so are 2 of my brothers 1 whom is in his 30’s and has never slept a full night in his life ) 🫠

The only babies I knew who slept all the way through at 3 months were formula fed. I breastfed all my 3 dcs and it didn’t matter what time i put them to bed , they woke frequently and were early risers.
In fact we go abroad a lot as visit family in a country that is generally v hot and my dcs now older and when small obviously didn’t/ don’t go to bed early as so hot and bright and it makes absolutely zero difference, even after months , they are still up at the crack of dawn 🤷🏻‍♀️

At three months she needs at least 12 hours sleep a night (on top of naps) so putting her to bed at midnight and waking at 8 isn’t enough sleep

Both of mine were dream sleepers and I mean from birth woke up once or twice to sleepily feed and straight back to sleep. I assure you, despite what my kids will say, I am not the world’s best mummy and you are being naive. These days we have had to cut bedtime back from 8pm to 7pm because it makes my kids (6&3) too tired for the day otherwise when they wake at 7am.

What a judgemental post!! I could ask why you are putting a baby to bed at midnight?!? My little boy is 1 and most nights is in bed at 7ish.. Sunday night he went to bed at 6;15.. because SHOCK he was tired. Since about 3 months old he has been going to bed between 6.30/7.00 because SHOCK he’s tired. I can’t physically keep him up any later he just knows when he’s ready for bed. He sleeps through the night no issues and has done most of his life. He used to wake once in the night for a feed and then would go back to sleep. If you put your child to bed at 7 and they woke for a night feed would they not go back to sleep? Are you just gonna put your child to bed at midnight forever?

To be honest this is absolutely not the case for me, my little boy is 6-6:30am Walter almost every day no matter what time he’s in bed 😅😅 so better for him to be in bed earlier as he still sleeps til 6 and is getting a longer sleep!