AIBU to wonder why people are putting their kids to bed so early

[Tukmgru]

So 100% appreciate that all kids are different but I’m constantly baffled at people putting their kids to bed at 6.30 or thereabouts and then complaining they’re being woken up. Of course they’re waking up - they have been asleep for hours and they’re hungry.

My 3 month old goes to bed with us (having had various naps throughout the day) around midnight and doesn’t wake until 8. I appreciate I’m very lucky that he sleeps for the full 8, but if I put him to bed at 6 he’d be up at 2am and wide awake for hours.

I work full time and take the morning feeds whilst DP is on mat leave and does the days. Our tiredness extends to the fact that there’s a whole person to take care of on top of what we were doing before, and have no family or additional paid support, but not sleep deprivation.

Obviously some people have other commitments (night shifts etc) and some kids just don’t sleep, but a lot of the new parents I know in similar circumstances to me seem to be at their wit’s end because, as far as I can tell, they’re putting their baby to bed too early! It often sounds like they’re forcing it too, like the baby doesn’t want to sleep then anyway. Confused!

[TheHighlandMoo]

My friend has 4 kids and puts them to bed at 6.30. With the hours their dad works it means he doesn’t see them in the evening and because they wake at 5am he comes home from work has his dinner and a shower and goes straight to bed.
it does strike me as odd that they’re all in bed asleep by 9pm.
also strikes me as odd that she complains constantly about them being up at 5am.
But her life, her business.

I get your point OP, I have never understood people putting their kids to bed so early. I have 2 kids, both go to bed at the same time. One is a great sleeper the other takes longer to settle. But ultimately they’ll be asleep by 8.30 and awake at 8 for school. We never put either of them to bed at 6 or 7pm or had strict routines.

[justanoldhack]

So everything else aside, plenty of evidence that putting kids to bed earlier helps them sleep longer. The best quality sleep happens pre-midnight

[JoeMaplin]

Seriously? Ok I have 4,, now all adults/teens and bar no 1 (I learnt from my mistakes), they all slept 10 to 12 hours every night reliably without waking from 8 to 12 weeks of age so I do know what I’m talking about. .

I suggest you take some advice from more experienced parents. Your child needs to get into a routine of bath, story, milk, bed and being put down awake as soon as possible. I sound like my mother now but you’re making a rod for your own back!

And maybe try not to lecture everyone on the basis of 3 months experience.

[Forever42]

I used to wonder the same when mine were younger. Dont think I have ever managed to get mine to bed at 6.30! We have always been one of the families whose kids go to bed latest (earliest was always 8pm) but I put that down to busy work schedules (and activities once they were older). They've never woken much before 7 though which I appreciate and might be partly down to the fact they've always gone to bed a bit later.

[Fixyourself]

Have you thought about writing a parenting book?

[Foxglovesandlilacs86]

My kids always went to bed at 6.30-7 and woke up anytime between 6.30-7.30 until they were about 6.

tbh you do t know what your talking about you’ve only got one kids and it’s 3 months old 😂 I’ve got eight! 1–15!

[bagelsandcheese]

My two went to sleep between 630-7 and woke at 7 next day from 6 weeks up until school age. It was great! Wish I'd of appreciated it more! Now the little blighters are still messing around past 10/1030 most nights...

[Greggsyumyumsmum]

I'd suggest going through a few regressions before you start penning your parenting book OP.

[Flowersinspringgrowwild]

Mine went to sleep at 6.30pm and woke up at 6.30am

cheers

[WineOclock2022]

😂😂😂 This has got to be a troll.... or I'm crying

If not congratulations on mastering motherhood at 3 months. Really hope it continues. Or is the gas and air still wearing off?

Try cluster feeding a breastfed child, every hour or more for 6+months.
And no DH couldn't help due to lack of breasts and the fact they refused bottles.

What's the saying "Touch Wood"? Really hope you did before posting.

Wishing you all the best for the forthcoming teething/toddler/light nights/kids-being-kids/ect....

I won't worry you with pre-teen/teenagers.....can cause many a sleepless night

[Bubblesandsqueak1]

Ds now 9 went to bed same time as us then from 10 months 10pm then 2 years 9pm 3 8pm now 9.30 pm up at 7.30 am mon to Friday 10 till 20 weekends slept minimum 10 hours a night from 3 months its great

[JingleB3lls]

Lol... so knowledgable 🤭

[Redkettle]

I had 2 kids who never ever slept. Ever. I don't think they ever went to bed before 6.30. But I was shit at routines.

[SisterBeaverhausen]

Because quite frankly by 7 o'clock I've had enough of my kid and want them to go to bed.

[NeedAChangeAsIAmSoooOuting]

I never had sleepless nights I put my son to bed when I went to bed and he always slept through from birth. I assume I was just lucky though.

[ItsBritneyBitch45]

Just checking, you're giving out parenting advice based on your experience of... 3 months?

LOL😂😂😂

[AiryFairy1]

I reckon this is a wind up 🤷🏻‍♀️

[AcrossthePond55]

HAHAHAHA!!!

Good luck with that midnight bedtime when you're dead knackered after working 8 hours and running around after a toddler in the evening keeping them out of mischief. Then you'll be wishing that you'd given them an earlier bedtime!

At that age mine were down by 7.30pm and woke between 5-6 am with an occasional night feed. Perfect for a working mum. No need to keep a baby up til midnight to get them to wake up at a reasonable hour.

[PurpleWisteria1]

Well I am certainly not new to parenting having 3 kids who are now all teens or pre teens.
No sleep regression here.
I tend to agree Somewhat with the OP. Child goes to bed at 6:30pm and wakes at 5:00 am. Parent moans on about how early they wake. Err put them to bed later then- not just once or twice, that won’t work. It’s got to be consistent and over a longer time to see any changes.
Mine all slept through from 8 months 12 hours pretty much but we had a very consistent bed time routine from 3 weeks old (when it came to the second two anyway as we learnt with the first!)

[PurpleWisteria1]

@NeedAChangeAsIAmSoooOuting

I never had sleepless nights I put my son to bed when I went to bed and he always slept through from birth. I assume I was just lucky though.

Your baby didn’t wake up for any feeds at night from birth? Yes that is very unusual bordering on insane.

[AcrossthePond55]

@AiryFairy1

I reckon this is a wind up 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not so sure. I've known some pretty smug mothers in my 60+ years who are keen to offer their 'expertise' about an age they have little to no experience of. Had a friend with a 10 year old who was just full of advice on what I was doing wrong how to parent my teenager. I did offer her some ice cream to go on her humble pie about 6 years later.

[Flavabobble]

I think an awful lot of folk are missing the point being made in the OP - that there are parents who send their kids to bed at 6pm who then constantly moan and bewail that they're always wide awake at 5am. It's baffling.

[Kettledodger]

My son would go to bed at 7ish and sleep till 6ish. On the odd time we were out or had people over etc and he would go to bed later he would wake at 6ish and on the very odd occasions when we had big family gatherings and he would be hyped up on sugar and finally go to sleep at 1am ....yep you guessed it he would be up at 6ish and a bloody nightmare all day! This was from around 3/4years old through till last summer when he turned 18 and discovered pubs and clubs. Before he was 3 he napped in the day so not counting that 😁

[Gardencoffee]

@October2020

Just checking, you're giving out parenting advice based on your experience of... 3 months?

Fwiw my daughter goes up at 7 for sleep at 8, but I wouldn't be bold enough to suggest to anyone else that that's the right way to do it...!!

Lol thank you I needed a laugh today!

[SunshineAndSummer]

I understand where you are coming from OP. My LO has always slept late, even when his routines have changed. Just means he wakes up 10am ish after his 12 hours (wakes for feeding) and I prefer this. He takes a late night bottle so when the time comes we will drop that one and maybe he wil go bed earlier.

Also really came on to comment about the not very nice individuals on here, barely finished page 2 and wow just as someone else mentioned very bitchy comments. Why are people getting so touchy. Saddos