He took something without telling me.

[WildCountry]

Name changed long term user. I'm just after a little perspective here...

I recently stopped my son's iPad use for a week due to unacceptable behaviour. His iPad was placed out of reach to wait until he was allowed it back.

My partner (who is long term but I do not live with) decided to take the IPad with him when he left the house today (will be gone several days). He did this without telling me to 'help me not to give in to my son who will ask for his old bck before a week'.

I am about the replace the iPad anyway (at Christmas) and had mentioned this to my sister. She has now asked if she can buy the old one off me and wants to see pictures and serial numbers etc to check if she wants it.

I spent half an hour searching the house for this iPad before calling my boyfriend to find he had taken it without asking me.

AIBU to be angry at this? I understand that it's easier to resist giving in early and giving the iPad back if it's not even here, but shouldn't I have been asked if I wanted this 'help'? I have an uncomfortable feeling about this. I know he hasn't stolen it in any way, but it's still been taken from me without my knowledge or permission.

Not sure how you are arriving at such an extreme viewpoint about OP's boundaries.

However, this is AIBU, where PP exisit to jump on Achilles Heels, invented or otherwise - & OP said she wasn't a perfect parent. So obviously that extrapolates to being a useless parent.
On AIBU, you have to be perfect, or line up for a kicking ...

This thread has really unsettled me as I’ve realised I’m in a similar position currently.

OP, I’d just say trust your gut instinct on this one, I’ve had mine for a while and have been ignoring it, this thread has made me revisit.

Well your post just shows how little you know. Theft is the dishonest appropriation of property belonging to another with the intention to permanently deprive the other of it.

So, it requires requires dishonesty and intention as well as taking the item. Just taking the iPad is nowhere near enough for this to be theft.

And for the record I'm a law grad who was taught this part of criminal law by one of the people responsible for drafting the Theft Act.

You might want to check your facts before you shoot down another poster with misinformation.

Wow @How288 That's worrying. Wishing you well in resolving things.

You might want to remember the point of OP's thread before going full Dixon of Dock Green @WeAreTheHeroes

Whether the offence is prosecutable or not makes no odds to the FACT that he he a conniving light handed arsehole who took somebody else's property without seeking permission. In order to control his partner, & assert his territorial dominance over the household.

I think that's a bit more important to OP than your law degree, no matter how high-falutin' the alumni who taught you. Having a law degree doesn't make you any more of a lawyer or a copper than any other random btw.

😂

And your responses are strangely random for someone on an internet forum who knows no more than anyone else based on what the OP has posted.

What are these facts of which you speak? Oh yeah, they're the assumptions you're making...

Wind it in. You're making a fool of yourself.

@KettrickenSmiled
I agree.

This may not be a police matter but I wouldn't want anyone in my life that thought they could remove MY property from MY home while they were a guest in it, even temporarily.

It may not be a "crime" per se, but it is not decent, honourable behaviour and I certainly would judge the persons lack of morals for doing so.

I definitely wouldn't allow them entry to my home again.

I won't respond to you again @WeAreTheHeroes so no need to bother tagging me again.

Wind it in. You are derailing OP's thread.

Good.

I'm not derailing anything - you are determined to whip things into frenzy and you told me I was wrong with such vehemence that I felt I needed to point out your error. You are not the thread police.

Argh! Typed a long response to all the posters who have been kind enough to offer advice but it disappeared because I’m at work and was inactive too long. Will try to repost later.

Was the unacceptable behaviour directed at your DP? Did it inconvenience him in some way? If so
I'd add vindictive to controlling.

The issue here is that your partner has treated YOU like a child and placed himself in a parental role. In an adult to adult interaction you would have had a conversation where he asked you what action / support you would like and you probably would have said "none thanks, I've got this." This is all kinds of wrong and shouts that your partner does not see you as an equal, you need "protecting from yourself because you are too weak." It's a critical parent to child. I'd be livid! 😂

This 👆 and this 👆. So wrong and patronising. The sort of thing my ex would do. You did not even get an apology which showed he understood what he did wrong. Big red flag.

Nope. run away!

It sounds like he may have had good intentions, but went astray in helping. I think it merits a serious conversation about how it made you feel and how it's unacceptable to do things like that without talking to you first. From the additional posts, you may also want to talk to him about his unwillingness to admit when he's wrong and how that impacts your relationship.

@WildCountry what's the update please?