That they've been gone over an hour

[YingMei]

My DH took the DC out for a walk over an hour ago, said they would be half an hour DC are 7 and 10. We are in a rural location . DH hasn't taken his phone, helpfully, it's almost dark and no sign of them. I am a bit prone to anxiety but I'm so worried - why would they be so long? Why would he not have returned when it's getting dark?

Yes.
I should have worded it differently.

There is great value in being without a phone, because then any experience is completely stress-free. We should all leave our phones at home more often. As mentioned, everybody coped fine before mobiles were invented!

@YingMei If the stings are bad them some antihistamine can take the edge off. And gently wash the area to remove any chemicals on there.

If still sore then calamine lotion and calpol.

I never take my phone when I walk the dog, unless I want a picture of him in his cute outfit. 😍 It's too bulky for my pocket and everything can wait til I get home.

I'd just ask DH is it really such a huge ask for him to check he has his phone when he goes out with kids knowing the state you may be in if things take longer?

Or instead of putting it in a way that implies that he's deliberately being difficult or doing something wrong (he isn't), when he's leaving she could just say "ooh, take your phone with you just in case"

Seriously, men can't do right for doing wrong on here.

@MarshaMelrose I know!!

just reading your post made me relax and breathe at the memories from the 'old days'. Not being contactable 24/7/365 bliss. Now if your phone is off the world & his wife panics.

I had mine in silent most of today, the messages, you'd think I'd been missing a month!

still shouldn't complain really, at least people care to check I'm alive 🤣🥰

Bloody hell, taking risks, it's a walk.
And I'm sorry taking his phone out just to keep your anxiety in check is making the issue worse!

@YingMei poor DS, it does hurt!! I hope the hot chocolate helps. Magic cream always does the job! (Sadly they don't make 'proper Germolene anymore, but the stupid stuff they sell now is good enough as 'magic cream')'

What, really? This is MN - you know the rules - you must leave him, change your locks and file for divorce first thing tomorrow morning 😁 Glad everyone is back - how frustrating it is when they don’t take their phone, I also get very anxious so you have my sympathy.

Perhaps he forgot, perhaps he thought it had it in the coat he had on but it was in the other one, perhaps he didnt want it

OH and I just went out for a walk earlier, neither of us had our phones on us.

How irresponsible. (and no its not different because we didnt have little kids with us)

Get off your bloomin phone then!

I see that as quite controlling. You had words about the phone because YOU suffer from anxiety?

Thats not ok. You need to deal with the anxiety, not enforce and demand that someone else changes their behaviour for you.

And then you’d be wishing he’d taken his phone!

Why the need for the rude and sarcastic comments ?? The OP clearly suffers from anxiety.

Its just stopped raining here and I was thinking about going out for a walk, have you a link to an appropriate risk asessment form?

Yes people are so smug when they don’t have anxiety. I get anxiety and it’s bloody crippling at times but I don’t tend to tell
people in real life that I have it because of the fear of being mocked or dismissed. I 100% understand how the OP felt.

I hope you're taking steps to work on your anxiety. I think that would be more helpful for the family dynamic than husband making sure he's available by phone at all times.

Twatty comment.

When he’s got the kids I think it’s perfectly understandable for OP to want him to have his phone.

And saying that going for a walk is risky is perfectly sensible? Seriously?

I think most of us who suffer anxiety (me) can understand how she felt. What is not appropriate is making it the husbands problem or for him to change reasonable and normal behaviour, thats not ok, that is controlling whether it comes from anxiety or not

The amount of posters expecting the husband to change his behaviour to 'fix' the OP's anxiety just shows how normalised it seems to be for people who suffer with something to ask others around them to make changes for them, when it is for them to make sense of what is happening for them and manage it appropriately. There are always exceptions to that, but in this case its quite straightforward.

I often head on out a walk without my phone. The sky hasn't fallen in yet.

i don’t understand all the “cool” posters here laughing at the idea of taking their phone with them. I would always take my phone with me because I have small children and accidents happen, freak or otherwise. It’s never a bad thing to have a way to 1) call an ambulance 2) call back home etc

just as this situation has proven.

yes people managed without phones. People also used to manage without washing machines etc - I still wouldn’t want to be without one.

When he’s got the kids I think it’s perfectly understandable for OP to want him to have his phone.

Why can't you go out for a stroll or kick a football around without having to check your phone all the time? I get anxiety but it's unfair to expect other people to alter reasonable behaviour to make you feel better. For the good of your longterm health, you really have to learn to change your own thought processes because anxiety affects all parts of your life and non family members won't be considerate about your issues.

Good lord - the kid fell in some nettles. He didn't need an ambulance, or for home to be called. He didn't even need to be carried home. This situation might have proven your point had the child fallen and been injured - but that simply isn't the case.