That they've been gone over an hour

[YingMei]

My DH took the DC out for a walk over an hour ago, said they would be half an hour DC are 7 and 10. We are in a rural location . DH hasn't taken his phone, helpfully, it's almost dark and no sign of them. I am a bit prone to anxiety but I'm so worried - why would they be so long? Why would he not have returned when it's getting dark?

The question is where does this worry come from? Would you be worried the same if it was during the day? Or if they didnt say they were going to be half an hour? If it was you, would you have cut your walk short just because you had said it will be half an hour? Did you have scenarios running through your head what could have possibly happened that kept them out longer than half an hour?

Also, would your husband like to phone you and ask you to come and get them in the car? Thats in my view a good solution if the child lets say broke their ankle or such.

I personally wouldnt take a phone on a walk like this either and dont think its necessary.

As a Beaver Leader, I bloody love a night hike! The darker and muddier the better.

BTW, anxiety has been my constant companion for the past 50 years (sometimes less severe, sometimes overwhelmingly so). But I do know it's my problem, and I am also aware that some of the things I would ideally like to do to make me feel "safe" would make the other people feel constrained and controlled and would not be reasonable. So I don't do them. Instead, I try to manage my anxiety. I suppose it's the opposite way of dealing with anxiety to that of @kateandme.

I dont understand

Ignore them. Don’t bother with the posters who have no understanding of it.

I don’t understand your ‘I don’t understand’🤷‍♀️what do you mean?

@kateandme this AIBU, so you know I'm allowed to say YABU!

Which OP is!

I won't ever give false empathy.

HTH.

Every other poster on here has anxiety which seems to exclude them from being unreasonable and controlling.

Would you be so empathetic if a man had posted about his wife having been out half an hour to long on a Sunday afternoon for a walk?

The ones on here who don’t suffer from anxiety haven’t a clue have they? Oh today I won’t suffer from it as I allowed my self it yesterday 🙄

I lost my job through anxiety and depression and my sister's anxiety drives her husband and myself to distraction. The strain it puts on us is almost intolerable. So I do know.
But sufferers of it have to fight against it. Challenge themselves to put up with the anxiety because each time they live with it, even for a short time, it becomes slightly more manageable. It's neither quick nor easy to sort out, it might never be solved, but getting other people to buy into it by always be on the end of a phone, etc, is not a good way to handling the condition longterm.

No.thats a really good point too.you have to try alot of the time to control it so it doesn't hinder or change others happiness or freedom.its not fair otherwise the anxiety IS irrational.but there are moments and when u get stuck in the middle of it when you can't.but even then that still often on the sufferer to get through it alone. But sometimes they don't have to,and families can be there.its can be both.

@MarshaMelrose
To me the fact that both you and your sister suffer from it, suggest to me, that there is an element of learnt behaviour?

I keep a lot of my anxiety to myself - no one knows when I’m having an attack because I know it would drive them nuts but the only thing I ask, and thankfully they do comply, is that when they go out they take their phone, just so that if anything did happen there is a form of contact. That’s all, just that one simple request - no unnecessary texting or calls it’s just good to know there is a line of communication open if needed.

There is Bach Flower Remedy for this very fear - Red Chestnut.

I agree. It's all my mothers fault!! 😁😁 My problem was more depression than anxiety but they're inevitable linked together. My sister is over the top, out of control anxious. I love her beyond measure but she makes life really hard on us.

That’s interesting - sounds like something I should have a supply of. 👍

Don’t be so silly. The Mumsnet neurotics are out in force.

This is a 7 year old child facing a long walk home on a freezing dark winter's night, miserable and cold and sore, Jesus, of course the OP wants to make it easier on him, she is his mother fgs. Meanwhile, you sound as if you have all the tender maternal solicitude of Miss Trunchbull. God help your kids if you have them.

@hellycat love it 😂😂😂

Glad they’re back not read the whole thread but I wanted to know they’re back and you can stop worrying not it’s not daft to worry.

Had a word😂 with a grown bloke because he didn’t take his phone like a good little boy😂

It was 4o’clock in the afternoon and where’s freezing at the moment? Nothing like massive exaggeration.

This thread keeps on giving

Well said @Theluggage15

@hellycat where are you that it's freezing?

It was 4o’clock in the afternoon and where’s freezing at the moment? Nothing like massive exaggeration.

And pp has no idea whether it was 'a long walk'. They might not have gone more than a mile.

But this is Mumsnet, the home of hyperbole.

Northern Ireland. And it is freezing. Isn't OP in Yorkshire? It's dark at 4 pm there! Maybe I am just sensitive to the cold or something, but it is very cold today, far more than it has been lately.