That they've been gone over an hour

[YingMei]

My DH took the DC out for a walk over an hour ago, said they would be half an hour DC are 7 and 10. We are in a rural location . DH hasn't taken his phone, helpfully, it's almost dark and no sign of them. I am a bit prone to anxiety but I'm so worried - why would they be so long? Why would he not have returned when it's getting dark?

Are they back?

why did you have to go and find him?! could he not have found his own way home?

Maybe create a little action plan in your mind. It can help with the confusion & anxiety.
Something like: If they're not back by X time, I'll nip out to look for them. If no joy, and they're still not back once I arrive home, then I'll make the phone calls

Id assume pub.

I'm place marking to check when they come back

They just walked in. DS (younger one) fell into nettles and has stings up his face , got in a state so DH ended up carrying him a lot of the way back. His phone would have been very useful as I could have driven to much closer to where it happened to fetch them.
But thanks for the reassurances while I waited, at least they're home.

That's a huge relief op! Please tell dh to always take his phone.

If he wants to take risks that's up to him, but it's not ok when he's with young children.

Bet you were relieved regardless!

If you're prone to anxiety, it's a tiny gesture for DH to take his phone out, it means you can enjoy more of your quiet time instead of arguing with your anxieties! As you say, in this instance a phone would have been most helpful.

I'd just ask DH is it really such a huge ask for him to check he has his phone when he goes out with kids knowing the state you may be in if things take longer?! It's nothing on his part but hugely helpful for you (and quite sensible in this day and age of no phone boxes!).

Actually he's taken 'his' son for a walk, what a terrible father!

Oh thank goodness!

Poor lad, nettlw stings feel so nasty even if its only a minor thing really!

Jeez, anyone remember the days before phones? I don't expect my DH to take his phone everywhere he goes, and I don't take mine either. I doubt I'd get worked up about my DH being out with the kids unless he'd been gone 3-4 hours.

I'm sorry but if anyone asked me to "check in" while taking a perfectly ordinary walk, I'd rethink the relationship. People survived for millenia without mobile phones and constant contact. It is on the person with anxiety to manage his/her issues, not dump them outward and demand accommodations.

Situations like this are why men shirk parenting duties, because they are second-guessed every single step of the way, literally so in this case.

Falling into nettles is not life-threatening or anything to have a go about.

You can go for a walk without a phone! He wasn’t out in the wilds, miles from anywhere.

They also aren’t young children they are 7& 10, old enough to help if something did go badly wrong. (And no, falling in nettles doesn’t count, painful yes, needing to call for help, no)

DS is recovering with a hot choc and DH and I have had words about the phone. He does know that I worry so it's only a small thing. And in this case it could have got DS back quicker and avoided him carrying a (big!) 7 year old home

I don't how we lived in those dark ages. 😂😂

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune she didn't say check-in, she said check he has his phone with him. Luckily we've had a sensible discussion and our relationship isn't about to end over it.

He didn’t need to carry him. Your son was upset but if no adult was able to carry him home he would have been fine.

You need to manage your anxieties not make other people change their reasonable behaviour. I am assuming you ‘had words’ with your husband means you told him off. It is healthy to disconnect and not take your mobile everywhere with you.

@ChristmasisRuined

Crikey . I'm not surprised you're worried though. I'm sure they're fine but it was very irresponsible of him not to take his phone. I realise people managed pre-mobiles but even if you witness something that doesn't affect you, your phone could really help someone else

irresponsible not to take his phone It's not his duty to carry his phone on the off chance that having it could help someone else. So could a first aid kit, a torch, a thermal blanket, etc etc. how much is one required to carry to go on a walk...
I think you are being OTT, maybe you need some help with your anxiety.

it's too early for 'Christmas to be ruined' unless you've lost someone really close & even then it can be somewhat salvaged. Especially if children are impacted.

Calm Down Dear'

Me neither!!! 😛🙄

In the olden days we had phone boxes...

Take Risks??

He went for a walk. Not paragliding off a cliff 🙄😵‍💫🤣

Taking a risk 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Falling into nettles is not life-threatening or anything to have a go about.

When I was a child, we were taught to rub nettle stings with dock leaves to take away the sting. Where there were nettles, there would (supposedly) always be docks growing nearby. Looking for them at least distracted from the sting!

Not very many if your lived in the countryside. It could easily be as far to walk to the phone box as back to your house.

And going a bit further back there were no phones.

It is really healthy to leave your phone behind occasionally, to disconnect, to be more in the moment and to realise that you can live without your phone.