To think my friends don't give a shit about me?

[stelmosfire09]

I'm going through a really bad break up, after a ten year relationship. He basically promised me the world however within the past 6 months he has decided he can't commit and has fucked off travelling. I'm 30 and feel like a big chunk of my life has been wasted on him.

My two best friends and basically the only friends I have have been really good and supportive. But they both have kids, one has two kids and is married, the other has one kid but is single but doesn't seem to have that panic of finding someone as she has her child and doesn't want anymore so she hasn't the pressure of having to find someone to have children, she also just seems very content being single.

I went over to my single friends house last night for some drinks, we ended up staying up until about 4 in the morning (we started drinking late as she was working).

Both my friends know I am particularly vulnerable when I'm hungover and more likely to contact my ex. Around 2 pm today I phoned my married friend and asked her to pick me up as due to my hangover and anxiety I couldn't bear to be alone. She said she would pick me up but she was taking her kids to the park so I'd have to join them. I said it didn't matter.

My single friend who I'd been up half the night with just wouldn't answer my calls at all. When she finally got in touch she said she had been sleeping but was avoiding the question when I repeatedly asked her where she was. I honestly can't bear to be alone with a hangover since the break up and I have just felt totally alone and unsupported today.

My single friend generally likes to be alone, and with a hangover she likes to just watch films and chill out but surely if a friend is in need you would make an exception. I have been crawling out my skin.

These women I would bend over backwards for and inconvienice myself if they needed me but today just proved they don't feel the same way about me.

I know they have families, but the single ones daughter wasn't with her today. AIBU To be angry and feel unsupported? I just feel like cutting them off to be honest.

Some replies have been a bit harsh. OP, a break up is awful, been there done that in the past. You need to grieve for your relationship.
I don't think your friends were unreasonable, I have kids and would happily pick up a friend and include them in my plans but I wouldn't cancel plans with my kids in order for them to sleep off a hangover, not sure if that's what you wanted your friend to do.
If you haven't already then block the ex on everything, alcohol is awful for anxiety so I'd try and knock that on the head. Have you spoken to your gp? They can refer you for therapy, being able to speak to someone impartial where you can get everything off your chest works wonders.
I hope you feel better soon

was avoiding the question when I repeatedly asked her where she was.
and asking to stay in their spare room, you sound like an entitled brat, grow up.

Yabvvvu

I don't think alcohol is the answer.

You are so BU! And even if you weren’t cutting off your two best friends at this point in your life is the worst idea ever. You need them.

Everyone feels shit with a hangover. It’s reasonable for single friend to not feel like she can accommodate you right now. She stayed up super late drinking with you to help you.

Other friend said you can join her in the park. What’s wrong with that? She can’t drop her kids because of your hangover. Asking for a lift was a bit much though. If you really need to I’d get a taxi.

You're being very unreasonable and completely ridiculous.
Just because you have a hangover it doesn't mean they have to drop everything and babysit you.
How was your friend with two kids unsupportive? Did you expect her to not take her kids to the park so you could wallow in self pity at her their home?
In the nicest possible way, grow the fuck up.
If you can't handle a hangover and it makes you 'vulnerable', don't drink?
I'd call your friends and apologise for questioning them and being an entitled brat. If they are your only friends, you might find yourself very much alone if you carry on this way.

Is this actually real as I can't believe that you really think you're being in any way reasonable. It might well make you feel more comfortable not to be alone but everyone else's lives don't revolve around you. Sorry, OP - it's rubbish for you that the relationship ended when you wouldn't have chosen it to, but YAB completely U.

YABVU, of course your friend can’t cancel taking her kids to the park for you. She did offer to take you with her so you had that option but you chose not to take it.

Your other friend was asleep so what did you expect her to do? She is entitled to her own space.

I’d suggest laying off the drinking.

YABU

I think your hangover would have made your feelings of rejection more pronounced. Try to be kind to yourself and your friends.

You are not unsupported, one was up with you until 4am having worked late!!! And the .other accommodated you despite having plans with her family. Get help for your anxiety and perhaps talk to someone about your grief over the relationship. But dont push these friends away.

YABU. Your hangover isn't their responsibly! You sound very needy to be honest!

one has offered to pick you up and the other was up all night drinking with you!

I am really sorry you are going through this, sounds shit but your friends have their own life too and can't run around after you!

avoid alcohol, it seems like a good idea but it just makes things worse!

You sound like hard work!!Get a grip and don't drink!

You knew beforehand how you were going to feel. So why drink so much? YABU.

Yabvu, they both sound very supportive! Much more supportive than my friends. If you can't cope with hangovers you need to not drink.

Both my friends know I am particularly vulnerable when I'm hungover and more likely to contact my ex.

As do you, so the answer is not to drink so much. It is not their job to police you, or be at your beck and call. You chose to drink too much. One of them spent an entire evening with you, the other re-arranged their plans to pick you up and spend time with you. But that's not good enough for you - they should be there as an when you want them to be.

You may be doing them a favour by cutting them off.

Agree with everyone else. Yabu. I wouldn’t change plans so my friend could sleep off a hangover in my house.
It’s one of those things that you have to be realistic about. You’re on your own with this one.

Sounds like they are good pals to you. Don’t be sad about it. It’s an outlandish request.

Utterly ridiculous. You are excessively needy and are probably draining your friends goodwill towards you. You are a grown up. You need to get a grip.

Grow up! Your friends don’t have to be at your beck and call and certainly don’t have to explain why they didn’t answer the phone. Break ups are painful but use it as a growing experience and don’t be a self centred drain.

The alcohol has got to go. You know this.

Book to see a therapist. They can help you process your feelings arising from the breakup

Your friends sound great, I wish I had friends that great.

Wow. I can’t believe you’ve stated your shock that you would bend over backwards for these people when that’s exactly what they’ve done for you! One has spent the evening with you and stayed up until 4am with you. The other has picked you up on your demand because you’re ‘hungover’ even though she is busy with her family.

i can’t believe how self absorbed you are, YABU

YABVU

I think everyone is forgetting what it’s like to be 30 and heartbroken . You are of course upset but you are also being ridiculously demanding. Your friend spent time with you so demanding the next day is just not on.
You need to stop drinking so much, it isn’t suiting you right now and try and understand that friends have their own lives and commitments that cannot always be dropped for you

You sound like Carrie Bradshaw, extreme main character syndrome. Sorry!

If you can't handle the hangover don't drink?