To think my friends don't give a shit about me?

[stelmosfire09]

I'm going through a really bad break up, after a ten year relationship. He basically promised me the world however within the past 6 months he has decided he can't commit and has fucked off travelling. I'm 30 and feel like a big chunk of my life has been wasted on him.

My two best friends and basically the only friends I have have been really good and supportive. But they both have kids, one has two kids and is married, the other has one kid but is single but doesn't seem to have that panic of finding someone as she has her child and doesn't want anymore so she hasn't the pressure of having to find someone to have children, she also just seems very content being single.

I went over to my single friends house last night for some drinks, we ended up staying up until about 4 in the morning (we started drinking late as she was working).

Both my friends know I am particularly vulnerable when I'm hungover and more likely to contact my ex. Around 2 pm today I phoned my married friend and asked her to pick me up as due to my hangover and anxiety I couldn't bear to be alone. She said she would pick me up but she was taking her kids to the park so I'd have to join them. I said it didn't matter.

My single friend who I'd been up half the night with just wouldn't answer my calls at all. When she finally got in touch she said she had been sleeping but was avoiding the question when I repeatedly asked her where she was. I honestly can't bear to be alone with a hangover since the break up and I have just felt totally alone and unsupported today.

My single friend generally likes to be alone, and with a hangover she likes to just watch films and chill out but surely if a friend is in need you would make an exception. I have been crawling out my skin.

These women I would bend over backwards for and inconvienice myself if they needed me but today just proved they don't feel the same way about me.

I know they have families, but the single ones daughter wasn't with her today. AIBU To be angry and feel unsupported? I just feel like cutting them off to be honest.

No way is anyone this deluded. This has to be fake.

My two best friends and basically the only friends I have have been really good and supportive

So why would you cut them off after this ?????

Just making yourself lonelier after a non issue !

Also, get a cat or a dog?

Yabu. Based on your own version of events you sound self absorbed and belligerent (repeatedly asking friend where she was).

You sound like you're aware you don't like being alone when hungover. Totally understandable but that doesn't mean you get to impose on people because you've put yourself in a position where you're hungover.

Assuming this isn't a reverse. If you're genuinely angry at your friends do them a favour and cut them off.

Lol, they did drop anything, they had nothing left to drop but dead from exhaustion.

Wow, there are some really nasty people on this thread and you are probably the worst I've seen here. Why on earth would you say that to someone who is vulnerable and struggling? If that comment was printed out and pinned up with your name by it at your job tomorrow or held above your head in public would you stand by it? Is that how you talk to someone who is in such a bad place they've come to the Internet for advice from strangers? Shame on you. I hope you don't speak like that to people in your real life, if you do I expect you hurt a lot of them deeply.

In my experience, friends are there when we need them, but not always when we think we need them. Your friends sound wonderful but with busy lives, so now it is time for you to learn to look after yourself.

Big hugs sweetheart hope you're okay. Xxx

I'm sorry you're feeling so fragile at the moment 💐However, you can't expect any of your friends to drop everything because you were drinking and had a hangover. That's very unreasonable. Cut them off if you want to but I think you'll be cutting off your nose to spite your face here. My DH and DC come first and i wouldn't like a friend phoning me hungover expecting me to look after her. You're an adult, act like one.
Sorry if I sound harsh but I think tough love is needed here.

Hangover anxiety is horrible. You know it's because of the hangover, but that doesn't make it any less frightening.

It's affecting how you're seeing things. Friend with two children invited you to join her. Not a thrilling trip for someone with a hangover, but she did offer.

Single parent friend had a day without her child and a hangover, Sounds like she just needed her chill time.

I'm sorry that you're going through a break up. Ten years is a long time,. Especially when you're aware of your biological clock ticking.

Look after yourself, get some sleep and I hope that tomorrow (today now) feels kinder..

With kindness, you have an alcohol issue not a friend issue

staying up with you until 4am (friend A) during which I imagine you spoke at length about your ex and your grief over the relationship, is very supportive. She couldn’t not then possibly expect to all sit with you the next day.

offering to collect you to go to the park with her and her kids (friend B) is also very thoughtful and kind. Did you expect her to tell her kids no party today most because you would have preferred it?

you said yourself they have been amazing friends.

you need to stop drinking. It isn’t unusual for a hangover to hugely heighten anxiety. Don’t do it to yourself when you are already vulnerable.

This is kindly meant. Alcohol is a depressant OP. You need to pack it in if it’s effecting you to that degree. It’s just not going to help at all. And to drink when you get very anxious with the hangover well that’s a bit irresponsible really. Definitely avoid alcohol at the moment.

It sounds like you are feeling vulnerable and I fully understand why, and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but nothing you have said makes your friends bad friends. One of them stayed up with you till 4am and the other offered to include you in her day.

I would look into seeing a counsellor. It can really help 💐

Both my friends know I am particularly vulnerable when I'm hungover and more likely to contact my ex

You also know this. And the person responsible for your hangover (and your subsequent contact with your ex) is you. It's fine to ask for help, it's not fine to place the burden of responsibility at their door

I would avoid you like the plague.

Other people are not responsible for you. You are responsible for yourself.

You are lucky to have any friends and if you drop them, don't expect to make new ones in a hurry.

Do you think? 🙄😉

Why is anyone else responsible for your hangover or not being on your own.

Other people have lives and others they are responsible for.
why do you think everyone should drop everything and do what you want.

It sounds like your friends are at a different stage in their lives than you and whilst dropping everything for your mate was ok years ago when they didn’t have anyone else to think about. Now there are children and partners who take priority

Because they're invisible anyway

Nasty horrible post

If you have issues being alone op do not rely on one single person that has kids to baby sit you. I'm sorry that exactly what you want. A break up is hard but kids are harder and one day when you have your own and a friend asks you to drop everything with your family to give her a lift it's a bit cheeky tbh.

So work on your self esteem, and issue with being alone is due to anxiety work on that,some counselling will help you. But your best friends they aren't your counsellors, and have families and they come first,., regardless of u being there for them you need to not be so needy and be more independent.

You should probably refrain from drinking for a while if it gets you into this head space.

Why is it nasty to say that people should be responsible for themselves.

That's not all that was said and you know it