To ask what other SAHP do to fill their time

[doyoumindmeasking]

I'm a SAHM and just wondered what other SAHP do to fill their days.

My children are at school 9-3. I do drop offs and pick ups, cooking, cleaning, shopping etc.

But in terms of other stuff not much. I'm going to try to pick up an exercise class 3 x a week.

It can get a bit dull.

I've tried a part time job but it's just not practical with my husbands work and age of our children.

I wish I had this problem

I mean, I'd be bored shitless. But you can do anything you want! What is your passion? What do you enjoy? Get a job doing that!

But this suggests you can leave the makeup and the hair styling etc until mid morning after you’ve already been out on the school run and to shops. Otherwise you’re doing it twice. And if you don’t need to do it for the morning then does it really need to take an hour? I don’t want to wash and dry my hair in the morning either but I work so it gets done before bedtime.

We get up at 6:30, leave for work at 7.30. In that hour 4 people up and showered (hair dried etc), breakfast plus tidying up. Empty dishwasher and sometimes put washing machine on and also feed pets. Drop off at school and at work for 8.
@azimuth299 appreciate that with a disabled child that timescale wouldn’t be possible plus it sounds like you don’t drive but a lot of your list is really spinning things out. Also all those visits to the shop-could your husband not help out if he does drive? Single working people still have to visit the shops

Yes, freeing them up to work. Not freeing them up to do the other shit on the list I was quoting. It gives a net neutral position in terms of time to do housework etc. (if you assume you get absolutely zero done when the children are there).

I think we're both doing it at a convenient time for us. I would prefer to do it in the morning but it's just not convenient, so I do it when I can.

I'm a sahm to three kids. One is in reception at primary, one is in nursery and the other one at home full time. At the moment I spend most of my days doing school runs as my nursery age child is only in three afternoons a week as he's not entitled to free hours until the new year. I take my youngest to play groups and then do general housework, food shopping, playing with kids etc I do child care for my nephew's one day a week as well. Once my youngest is older I'm hoping to do some volunteering before I go back to work once she's old enough for pre school

Working parents don't have to do all of this because you'll see that my child-free time between school runs is 5 hours. I do a lot more hours of childcare than I would as a working parent.

This makes no sense.

As a SAHP you have 5 hours to do all the stuff, uninterrupted, that working parents have to fit in to the hours in their day when they are not working or commuting.

I'm a single parent to 3 DC. My youngest is 11 so I don't need childcare as such. I wfh maybe 2 days a week if I can, so I juggle work around school collection times. (The days I'm on-site my youngest comes home himself, it's ok but not ideal as it's a little longer at 11 than I like)

I'm up at 5, to exercise and do some housework then leave the house at 8:15 to return ideally by 17:30 so I can take children to sports activities which they do 7 days a week. Dinners are made ahead, by one of the DC or on the fly that evening, as best I can.

I don't earn enough (& being a single parent affects this too) to outsource elements like cleaning.

I'm not recommending my way of life, it's hard & exhausting & shit at times. I've no issue with people making choices to be SAHP, if it works for their families.

But don't pretend it's harder when (as you describe) you have 5 full hours do only look after household family & personal matters.

With respect, that is the kind of comment that only someone who has the luxury of a lot of child free time could say 🤣 I appreciate you have a disabled DC so I'm not saying life is easy but it does sound like you have a lot of time to get the kind of stuff working parents have to do around a job, when they're kids are there.
For example my shower/hair/make up gets done at 6am with my kids around. Being able to faff around for an hour mid morning sounds like time to myself to me!

Meal planning in around 10 mins on the way to the supermarket.
Emails - just during wee 5-10 minute blocks when I can. Or in the evening when kids are in bed.

@Hobbitfeet32 unfortunately we don't have a car. If I was working I'd have to drag the children after school, and that would make it take far longer!

@NCHammer2022 yes, exactly! WOHP do more hours of paid work than me. I do more hours of childcare than them.

Right, but I’m not spending an hour on it. There’s no problem with spending a lot of time on it and you have the free time to be able to do so, I just don’t get the point of spending an hour on makeup and hairstyling for being in the house and doing the afternoon school run, if you haven’t done it for the morning school run.

Does it matter?

Until he decides to trade you I. For a more interesting younger model ...

Flexible work is out there it’s often just a question of being in the right place at the right time.
I picked up occasional hours helping a local business when mine were small. I was very clear I could only do 930-230 term time. It suited them because I was available short notice- sometimes I would get a call at 8am to cover staff sickness etc. This slowly progressed to having a permanent 3 day a week contract once the children were at secondary school and I’ve done that ever since. I do charity work one one of the other week days.

WOHP do more hours of paid work than me. I do more hours of childcare than them.

But not that much more!

You still have 5 hours to do all that ... stuff that working parents do in lunchbreaks, during commutes, late at night, waiting in a car for a child to finish their sport and so on.

The childcare that some working parents need just allows them to work. Not to do the 'life admin'

I think the point @NCHammer2022 is making is that working parents don't get a spare random 5-6 hours without kids to deal with meal planning, showers and shopping. It often has to be done while kids are there! So you end up doing the same family/house stuff...in less time than a sahp because you have work for the rest of the time.

You’re missing my point; the working parent using after school care is doing fewer hours childcare than you but that makes no difference to your list of things that you make fill 5 hours every day when your children are at school. They’re still doing that stuff where it needs doing, and not doing it where it isn’t actually necessary.

Yes exactly this. I have a reception aged DD and the luxury of a non working day in the week, so I have that 5 hours once a week. You can fit a hell of a lot into that 5 hours if you want to.

Me too

OP maybe do some hours at the Foodbank to see how the other half lives.

You'll meet people that work full time and still have to do all the stuff you mention

@azimuth299

How much child-free time do you think working parents get? Because, let me tell you, I'd kill for 5 hours a week let alone a day!

My son goes to school 8:45-3:15. I work 8-4 (officially, usually work until after 5). I use my lunch break to do the school runs.

I hardly get time to myself.

Being a SAHP is not a job .
You have no career ,and are not an independent woman .
If you can survive on CMS payments alone if it all goes wrong it's fine .

"Why is it that these men can’t run their lives without a full time housekeeper/admin when single mums manage to get it all done on top of the two other day jobs?"

Agree @Thepeopleversuswork

Im sorry but just reading this thread... a lot of people must be Superwoman.

That'll hopefully be me next year! At the moment I am PT at work but have my youngest at home when I'm not at work.

Next year I will hopefully have the luxury of a Friday morning when all kids are at school and I'm not at work... I mean sometimes I might do the housework. But sometimes I might have go to the gym, or have a coffee and read, or even have a nap!

Why do some people make out like it's a good thing that they work full time and do all the household tasks too? I mean, I understand if you're a single patent, but if you have a partner all of those things should be shared. Some people on this thread sound like they're boasting about how much they have to do and how busy they are.

I'm counting showering here including hair drying/straightening/make up etc.

Admittedly I don't dry & straighten my hair but I didn't do this pre dc.

Hi fellow Rebel! 👋🏻