To ask what other SAHP do to fill their time

[doyoumindmeasking]

I'm a SAHM and just wondered what other SAHP do to fill their days.

My children are at school 9-3. I do drop offs and pick ups, cooking, cleaning, shopping etc.

But in terms of other stuff not much. I'm going to try to pick up an exercise class 3 x a week.

It can get a bit dull.

I've tried a part time job but it's just not practical with my husbands work and age of our children.

Completely agree, especially the "getting shit done is a habit." Like you I get "household admin" done while I'm in the car/break from work, etc. Work expands to fill the time you allot it.

I'm with you, it's exactly as I though in reality. I have I'm a full time working mum and don't have time or the option to do any of this!

This thread is unintentionally hilarious.

I always suspected being a SAHP would be boring. Thanks for confirming that for me, OP.

Auto correct is also making me near illiterate 🤣

You need structure and a plan make a list of what needs to be done everyday. You can contribute to society by volunteering if you so wish. Hobbies and skills, practical things done around the house.

Some people need the pressure of deadlines otherwise they procrastinate. Some people get too stressed by that.
I suggest you make a list so you can tick them off and you have a material evidence and a reminder of what you have achieved in a day.

You probably won't be SAHM forever so enjoy it, the grass is not necessarily greener being a full time working parent has it's downsides, too.

I'm never bored on my days off. Even if I had more of them I wouldn't be. There's so much to do. Housework and life tasks take up time but still there is reading, watching good stuff on TV that's not suitable for kids, cinema, baking and cooking, writing, crafting, knitting etc, family history research, painting, visiting the museum when the exhibition changes, gym, swimming, walking, having a coffee somewhere nice. And then there would be all sorts of volunteering too. Is there some sort of "what's on" paper or group for your area where you could find out about things and choose for your interests, availability, budget etc?

What’s your longer term plan once you wouldn’t have to only work around school hours/childcare? Could you study or do voluntary work to help get to a position where that’s going to be easier to do when they’re old enough?

Exactly @DrCoconut it's a state of mind. There are always stuff to do it's probably feeling lost because you aren't visibly going to work but you can be productive or relaxed or whatever you like as SAHP.
I suspect some of it is guilt from being seen as less feminist or lazy if your children are over 9 months old and you're still at home.

It all feels a bit "little women" to me to be honest. Doing a spot of embroidery whilst the big man brings in the cash. Get a job OP. You'll fit all the rest of the things in around that like the rest of us manage to do!

You will find it easier to look for work when all of your children are in full time school .

I was very lucky in that when my son was young I managed to work within school hours in an admin role . I know that these types of jobs in schools are quite rarely advertised . I quite often see adverts for people working around school lunches though - either in the kitchen or looking after the children . Thinking of jobs in schools - paid TA jobs in our local primary tended to go to those parents who had done the voluntary listening to children read roles . You could think about that .

Another thought - one of my neighbours does home care helping people in their own homes . That kind of role may be quite flexible to your available hours .

Obviously I don't know what job you did prior to having your DC so apologies if you were thinking of something slightly more high powered.

It's difficult to fit everything in to the window of 9 to 3, tbh....

I have cleaning, washing, ironing, dog walking, shopping and prepping dinner.

I was a SAHM for 5 years after my second child was born. I did a psychology degree and was a parish councillor. When I went back to work, my husband changed his job role to one that allowed him to drop them off at school (I picked up). We are fortunate that I am a teacher, so we don't have the school holiday problem.

I have always been very slack with housework, whether or not I work...

Mumsnet is hilarious. Whenever there’s a SAHM vs WOHM thread the SAHMs claim it’s a full time job, they are run off their feet, they are parenting 24/7… yet on here many seem to have loads of free time!
And I’m also struggling to understand how 6 hours of paid work negatively impacted the family so much.

I don't know how people do it

Work / stuff expands to fill the time.

if you had 20 mins to clean, you’d clean in 20 mins. What other choice would you have? I’d always set a (kitchen) timer on tasks like shopping, cleaning, cooking, otherwise your whole day goes that way. Sure you can spend a whole day cooking or cleaning, but it’s clear from your post that this isn’t doing much for you.

if you are bored, I always think: start with improving you. Read good books to enrich your mind (have a list and tick the titles off), exercise (walks, gyms, or home videos), do a course (coding was suggested unthread!), and also give of yourself to others (this really helps with mental health). Volunteer in a food bank, your children’s (future) school, get in touch with “help them aged”, write letters for amnesty, say hello to the homeless guy next time you’re out, ask him if he’d like a coffee.

😂😂😂

nopenotplaying
Auto correct is also making me near illiterate 🤣

I'm ignorant on the subject as I have never used auto correct - probably because I don't have a mobile phone.

Can't you turn it off?

shortandpaleandoldandugly ·
Well this thread certainly puts paid to the theory that SAHP work "just as hard" as those in paid employment. Your lives sound bloody marvellous to be honest. If only my only worry was how to fill my time!

I know! as I said earlier, normally SAHMs on here are insisting that they work dawn to dusk non stop without a break

I wish we had upvote buttons on here, it would save a lot of typing!

Litter picking on local beaches/parks? Great for the community and the environment. An hour can make a big difference.

Just very jealous reading this thread as someone who is the breadwinner, running a full time business and with two full on volunteer positions in my local community. And I've just spent my Saturday working too.

I'd seriously get some skills whether by volunteering or even a limited hours part time job. Our communities also need many people to step up and help those less fortunate.
You don't know what the future will bring...

When my DC stated school, I thought with all that childfree time I'd have an immaculate house, be a gym bunny, look hot, have amazing meals prepped etc etc. In reality, I'm still fat and the house is often a mess.

I don't feel jealous. I enjoy my moment of leisure because they're in contrast to my busy life, and I also enjoy and get a deep sense of satisfaction from what I accomplish in my work and study. The thrill of leisure wears off a bit when you have gobs of it.

Would you be interested in doing a degree? - if there’s a university nearby

I agree. These threads make me a bit jealous to be honest. I work full time, kids have to go to breakfast club, they have hobbies every day each week apart from a Saturday and Monday. I have to fit in house work, food shopping, cleaning, appointments, vets visits in around work. We're Currently doing up our houseas well. Dh is always doing something on the house. I would love not to know how to fill my time. On the flip side I'm gald I Still work. I would 100 % begrudge my dh if I was at home to further his career. Sorry op, as another poster said get a part time job, or just fill time with hobbies/ online course or something.

… but that apart I’d focus on some voluntary work that will really benefit your community.

Nothing wrong with not working if you don’t have to and don’t want to, but if you want to feel you are making a contribution that’s huge.

Once kids are at school they don’t need a non working parent (unless serious issues) but our communities really do need people with time, energy and vision.