16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

Omg, how awful for your daughter (and you ). Where we live, under 18’s are admitted to the children’s ward. I definitely wouldn’t like to leave my 16 year old daughter on a mixed ward. Hope she’s recovering well and cross fingers she gets to go home soon. Some of these comments are 😮

I had this exact scenario. DH arrived and lay on her bed with her and refused to move. Very polite, no nonsense. Spoke loudly about safeguarding etc etc. She was given a private room. As I left a nurse had a massive rant at me for being a 'trouble maker' I had literally done nothing. DH was commended on his excellent parenting.

Was he? Because if what we're scared of is men in a mixed bay having a strange man refuse to leave a women's bay doesn't exactly reassure the other women in the bay. It puts all the other women at risk.

I agree- having a grown man who isn’t a patient lying on a hospital bed refusing to leave is really not great. Obviously some children will only have a male to stay with them but where there is a choice it’s far better a female. I know it sounds sexist but until men stop being far and away the biggest group of rapists, murderers, paedophiles and predators of women and children- they will be treated with suspicion.

Same with women having partners to stay when they’ve had a baby. Maybe the women who have had a c section should be able to have a separate bay where men can stay or even just those who want men there. Many of the women hate having other peoples’ partners there, it’s intrusive, loud and humiliating when you have been through child birth to have men in such close proximity staring as you try to make it to the bathroom hoping you’ve not leaked blood or milk. Or crying and feeling overwhelmed. Horrible. Some women think because it’s their partner and they need them that trumps the feeling of others

She has a bed where many don't. Kick up a fuss to stay next to her for as long as she is there by all means. I would do exactly this.

So happy that you could stay with her OP. A swift recovery, it's really tough.

None of these observations go to the silly extreme of claiming all men are like that. But they do suggest that sidesweeping legitimate safety concerns are not advisable, and that those who want to keep the status quo precisely as it is (ie protecting predatory men) might want to examine their motives for doing so.

That was my thought when reading some of the comments - why were some posters so keen to minimise the potential risks and try to gaslight the OP into thinking she was over-reacting? Unless they have their own motives.

I agree op should have been allowed to stay with her dd, which she was in the end but can I also say I had a C section at 15 and was alone on the ward with other women, but also their partners.

OMG this sounds awful OP. Please do make a formal complaint. It’s not on.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Sorry you had to go through that alone. It wasn't right. Neither is what OP and her DD went through.

the sister in charge allowed me to stay without me even asking, on a chair next to her bed, as she said that it would be better as my daughter as she is so young.

So glad this happened in the end. It should have been what happened in the beginning. It is in everyone's best interests including the staff on that busy ward.

Please do complain - you experience will help others.

until men stop being far and away the biggest group of rapists, murderers, paedophiles and predators of women and children- they will be treated with suspicion.

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‘until men stop being far and away the biggest group of rapists, murderers, paedophiles and predators of women and children- they will be treated with suspicion ‘

This ⬆️ ⬆️ ⬆️

Please your daughter has had her op and is home recovering. Its must have been awful for you and pleased you were able to be with her soon after.

Do let PALS know so they can improve hospital processes.

So pleased it turned out ok in the end OP. It SHOULD have been ok from the beginning!

For those saying this situation is acceptable, dd is an adult etc … Imagine a different scenario - IF the OP had come on with the thread title “16 year old DD has been raped on adult hospital ward” - EVERYONE would be saying, “my god OP, WHY was dd on an adult ward, that’s shocking, she’s just a child!” Just think about that for a moment.

You would prefer her appendix to burst then? Stop having a tantrum, she’s not a baby and won’t be “surrounded by men”, you know these places have staff right? What the hell do you think is going to happen with people laid up waiting for surgery fgs? At 16 she has to consent to her medical treatment, I’ve been there as a 16 year old on an adult ward.

I was in the same situation when I was 16 and unconscious in a very busy mixed ward and a man kept taking his clothes off and running round the ward naked. Parents complained and I was moved to a womens ward with elderly patients who enjoyed making a fuss of me 😊

I would be more concerned with her getting prompt treatment than who else is in the ward. Would you also object to male doctor, surgeon, nurse, cleaner, visitor.

Where did the sudden wave of Jack-asses come from?

Read the op’s posts. All resolved now, rightfully so.

Surely she wouldn't be so the only female if it was a mixed ward

I know it sounds terrible but your daughter will actually get much better care in an adult ward. Children’s nursera are great but they’re specialists so small children and babies and a lot of them will be not aware of signs they should be looking out for in teens + etc.

A lot of adult nurses also work as children’s nurses but I’d recommend asking how many nurses will be on shift and if they can put her on hourly monitoring or near the nurses station so that she’ll always be near someone

This!

And this!

With the current climate in the NHS it is amazing she is able to have a bed at all in that time. Not ideal I agree but I guess they are providing her with the only bed they have. You could always discharge her and take her hone if you are not happy but appendicitis is pretty serious.