16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

My teenager hates being in with toddlers and babies when they’ve had to stay. Often the smaller children are incredibly noisy and watch tv shows eg peppa pig at full volume. Also for those not so poorly running up and down the ward as the parents smile indulgently seems to be an acceptable pastime. Luckily the nurses are usually great and see it’s stressful being a teen lumped in with babies and will let us have a room with it’s own bathroom which is great. Much more peaceful and appropriate. There needs to be some thought put in to a safe, restful and appropriate space for 16-22 years

@Fadeout83

They seem completely different to me, and it seems to me like an irrelevant comparison. This thread has many differing views.

Fixed that for you. You are welcome.

Some of these posts and comments are really fucking heartless. It was the same with the woman about the Xmas Dinner who clearly stated she was struggling with her mental health. People put the boot in regardless, its really dickish behaviour. What the fucks wrong with some of you have you ventured over from tattle or something to get reactions to your nasty posts.

Any news on your DD OP?

I would feel exactly the same with one of my DDs x

I would assume these people are trolls, enjoying using you for sport.

Absolutely disgusting.

I hope your DD is fine, and that you complain, when this is over.

Go private then.

Yes absolutely and most of them wouldn't of even been having surgery just doing something natural we were build to do.

I hope you’re back with her now.

@momlette My teenagers feel exactly the same. Its hard when they are really too old for paeds, but still under 18.

🙄

Yes because we should all be so fucking grateful for a public service that isn’t fit for use.

I’m sorry you weren’t able to stay with her, I’d feel exactly the same. I hope she’s out of theatre soon and makes a speedy recovery.

I’m all for direct communication and standing up for what’s right. I just think adults that fake-cry (or teach their children to do it!) to get what they want are manipulative people.

Afterfire. It is fit for use. The girl is having the operation she needs. Yes we should be grateful for the service it's brilliant. Nit picking about who's on a ward with who is ridiculous and like i said if you don't like it then pay to go else where

OP, I hope your daughter is all right and that you both get some peace of mind soon. There are some truly vile people commenting on your posts. I’m sorry you had to put up with that on top of everything else you’re dealing with.

Hahaha, good one.

Unfortunately, the state of the NHS means single sex wards are totally unachievable. The sheer volume of patients and severe lack of staff dictate this. Single sex bays are the best option. Not ideal I agree. There is absolutely not a chance that there will be a nurse in each bay, the nurse will likely have 4/5 bays plus side rooms with one HCA. I cannot express the workload we are all experiencing presently, sadly, it’s not even winter yet. Please do look kindly on ‘the men with their arses out’, they are sick and likely confused, in their well state they’d likely be mortified at your description. I only wish there was enough staff to ensure this didn’t happen.

However, to not be allowed to stay with your daughter prior to surgery at 16 years old is shocking. As a rule, all relatives are asked to stick to visiting times bar exceptional circumstances (ie. Palliative). This scenario would be deemed exceptional in my view, with the understanding that on her safe and well return you would leave the ward in a timely manner. The nurse in charge could (and should!) of used their discretion.

I would contact PALS to make a complaint. I suspect they may reply ‘following policy’ etc, but hand on heart I would not of expected you to leave your daughter knowing she was going to theatre, if I’d of known you were on the car park prior to her going down I’d of a the very least let you back in.

I hope your daughter makes a speedy recovery and is soon home where she belongs.

🌸

It is decidedly not brilliant. It is barely fit for purpose, insufficiently staffed and funded, offers pockets of excellence and plenty of low quality care. That’s the reality even if it doesn’t reflect your rose tinted views. This country and its health service are both in a grave state.

Would a 16/17-year-old young adult really want to be on a kids ward with crying babies and screaming toddlers?

I hope you are ok and your daughter feels better soon. I would feel the same too x

I don't understand how that could possibly be allowed. In any other setting like boarding school accommodation is regulated up to 18 and would need to be single sex. I appreciate that the medical age of consent is 16 but that is a separate issue to this.

Jeremy Hunt is that you?!

I hope the surgery went well and your daughter has a quick recovery. I don't think you were being unreasonable at all, I'd have felt the same.

Hi @Teenangels, how did DDs surgery go? I hope she is okay and you have managed to get yourself a cuppa and something to eat xx

I would feel the same as you. My daughter had to have emergency surgery when she was 11, it was a horrible stressful situation and I was obviously with her on the ward before and after surgery. She is almost 16 now and I would feel exactly the same if a similar situation happened to her now. I would want to be with her and she would want me there. I certainly wouldn't want to be sat in the carpark waiting while she was on her own in a mixed adult ward. In this situation, I feel you should have been allowed to stay with her. I hope you're both okay.