16 year old in hospital, adult mixed ward.

[Teenangels]

My daughter and I are currently sitting on a chair in the waiting area, to be taken up to a ward, she is 16 only just and been diagnosed with an appendicitis, she has been given morphine, so is sleepy and

I have been told that she will be going up to an adult mixed ward to wait for surgery and that I am not allowed to go up with her.

I am actually furious that my 16 year old will be surrounded by adult men, she is a child how is this allowed to happen.

In my eyes she is still a child, she can't get married (without my permission) but can be treated as a child.

AIBU and over reacting or AINBU to feel she is being totally let down.

I'm so pleased your daughter is ok and someone had the common sense to let you sit with her. I'm sure she would have been so scared if you hadn't.

Very pleased all is broadly ok. Fingers crossed home later today for a good rest.

warning though- IME being ready to be discharged and getting the nurses to actually discharge you are two separate things entirely.

that is good that you just went back and found her

Couldn’t agree more! The ones saying they don’t want teenagers in with their toddlers. Newsflash is that they are still young at 16 and as a parent you still feel hugely protective towards them. Most these days are still in full time education and are dependents . Wait till your toddlers reach that age and let us know you’d be happy to let your daughter in to a mixed wards under the effects of strongest pain management with males who may intentionally or unintentionally expose her to things she shouldn’t see. Or worse. Also not sure why you’d be worried about a 16 year old near toddlers. Most of them have their parents with them at all times anyway so plenty of adults about

I wish your daughter a speedy recovery. When you're home and settled please make a formal complaint about your situation, you might save another family from going through it :(

OP thank you for taking the time to update us. Wishing your daughter a speedy recovery. 💐

Glad that you got to stay with her OP and I hope your daughter recovers quickly.

I wouldn't complain exactly but I'd give the manager of the pre-op ward some feedback. Make sure that all staff are aware that the hospital's policy is to allow parents to stay with under 18s so that no one else has to go through what you and your DD did.

@Teenangels Glad you are with your daughter
Hope her nausea and vomiting clear up soon- Appendicitis is horrible.
An adult friend had it and he was also sick a lot.
The ward sounds awful, especially the drunks.

I'm glad someone finally saw sense and let you stay op.
Wishing your daughter a speedy recovery and hope you'll be able to take her home soon!

So pleased to hear your update.

Interesting, isn't it, that the nurse who helped you and the sister on the ward took a similar view to you, rather than to the horrible posters on here?

Hope you get home today and your daughter makes a quick recovery.

Glad you got to spend the night with your daughter, OP. Hope you are home soon and both able to recover.

Glad you got to stay with her Op & hope she makes a speedy recovery.

I had multiple surgeries from the age of 3 to 18. Not once, even as a small child was my mum allowed to be with me, before, during or immediately after I had been taken to theatre ( she had to wait until visiting time) It was horrific and I still bear the psychological scars. When my now adult son was admitted aged 1, I was astounded to be told I could stay.

I can't believe that things are going back to the 1970s and children aren't allowed their parents with them. It's cruel. I was also in a mixed ward, aged 17. For some reason, we just accepted it.

You are not at all unreasonable. All you describe is wrong in my view. Also as far as I know a minor has the right to be accompanied in hospital at all times, I thought this is European Law that declares this.

Great you were able to be with her after the operation. Wishing you speedy recovery and hope you can go home very soon.

I’m glad your dds op went well and you were able to stay with her. Wishing her a speedy recovery

I am so glad your DD is ok and you got to stay.

I hope you do find the energy and strength to complain afterwards.

the nhs is overworked and staff are exhausted but the people who threw you out yesterday in contravention of their own polices need to be stopped. I think I am even more angry for you and your dd now you have said it’s hospital policy for parents to stay with under 18s.

This isn’t some poor overworked staff feeling they have to follow a shitty policy with no resources to provide safe care. These are staff members who deliberately removed a mother from the side of her unwell child to place her alone in a potentially unsafe situation for no medical or operational reason at all! They did this just because they could.

They went out of there and contravened their own polices just to be cruel. what sort of human removes a parent from their sick child for no reason other than their own hubris and cruelty? The people that did this should not be working in healthcare.

So glad to hear she is okay op and you got to stay. My dd required oramorph for around 20 hours after her op, so if she is still needing it tonight she may not get home. She had her op first in the morning last week and we got home at 1pm the next day because she was able to pee, eat and drink and her obs were fine. Is she still being sick?

I'm so glad your dd is doing ok and that you got to stay with her. Speedy recovery x

This happened to my 17 year old last year and they said I couldn't stay. She was terrified. But she was in a side room right opposite the nurses station. I was really annoyed as the next day on ward round the consultant apparently said of course I should stay as she was under 18 and it was basic safeguarding

Good to read your update OP and pleased that you finally encountered a compassionate nurse who understood about caring for / safeguarding children - especially in the light of the male drunks wandering around in the early hours.
This thread has been a bit of a shocker - hope you've been able to ignore the vile posters minimising concerns about your daughter's safety, derailing about rape myths or implying you were in some way out of order for doing what all good parents do - caring for their child.
Hopefully you'll get her safely home soon.

I haven't read the full thread so apologies but I was terrified last year- my 17 year old who was bedbound and vulnerable was in a ward with several men who were able to walk around freely and I did think to myself wtf if she gets sexually assaulted ? Then thought oh you are being dramatic don't be silly but it's a terrifying thought your underage kid being in hospital immobile with nobody to look out for them

I’m so glad things are okay OP.

Utterly shocking any woman of any age has to be in those conditions. Thank god she wasn’t just turned 18.

I think the only people who aren’t shocked by this are bots, no real person can think what you described is okay.

Well quite the opposite as the OP would have been able to do some things for her daughter rather than a nurse doing them.

When my Mum refused to leave my adult brother after he was seriously ill when he eventually was discharged one of the nurses thanked her as she was so helpful.

Middle aged mothers generally are no trouble and in fact will go out of their way to help their children and the nurses caring for them.

It's utter insanity the OP was made to leave.

OP, please do make a complaint to PALS and request they review their safeguarding risk assessment for 16-18 year olds on mixed sex adult wards (and that they send you a copy).

I do wonder, with the male drunks wandering around, at what point hospital security would do something. How long would it take for them to respond if one of those drunks became violent / started throwing things? How many staff and patients would be hurt first?

It's utterly shocking this is the state of the NHS.

Also, to those saying going private, it is really difficult to get A&E care privately, very few private hospitals have an A&E. In general you have to go to NHS A&E and then you are transferred privately. So in an emergency even if you do have private insurance, you need to use the NHS route first.

Also wanted to say you sound like a great mum advocating and protecting her child in very difficult circumstances.

Unfortunately this thread seemed to get taken over by trolls / bots at one point as the comments were unbelievable and would not have been made by anyone who has a teenage daughter. Sadly some nasty people seem to like riling us up, and they know exactly what works.

Speedy recovery to your daughter 💐