I work until 2 a.m. five nights a week. Husband woke me up at 5:30 this morning so he could go for a run before work.

[MonicaFaloolaGeller]

Not by accident while he was getting dressed or anything. 11mo DS was still awake after his bottle and DH “had to go” so he woke me up to sit with him and get him back to sleep.

I wasn’t working last night, but on the two nights I’m not working I really struggle to get to sleep early, so I was awake til after 1.

If he’d foregone the run, or even just made it a bit shorter and got DS back down before leaving, I could have had two more hours of sleep.

AIBU to be absolutely fucking raging?

I would be, to put it somewhat bluntly, fucking furious. The selfish, selfish bastard. He would never even think to do that again once I was done with him or he’d be out on his arse!

Interrupting my sleep is seen as the equivalent of assault in my house! I need sleep, lots of it, just to function. He would be returning home to Armageddon if this was my DH! It’s a totally selfish thing to do.

Is he back yet?

As a runner I get that it is annoying if you can't run when you plan to... But in this scenario he shouldn't have planned to!

He could have dressed ds up warm, gone for a run pushing him in the buggy, and ds would have come back asleep! Win win

Can you try taking Benadryl or a muscle relaxant on the nights when your off?

Very selfish. Could he not have put your baby in bed with you to settle back to sleep? Anyway he should not have woken you. There's nothing worse than sleep deprivation.

You don't work shifts do you? How about tonight you go to bed 4+ hours earlier than normal and see if you can get to sleep?

OP, waking your husband up when you come to bed but letting him go back to sleep still doesn't demonstrate what he's done. You need him to get up and look after the baby 3 hours after he's gone to bed, and then have to stay up.

I’m on the fence with this… yeah not a lot of sleep is shit, I work shifts so I know. But if you work 5 days surely the only mornings he can run are the 2 your off. You really need to try sleep earlier when your off work. I know it’s difficult I sometimes do days and nights in the same week so I understand it messes you up

His sleep is presumably disrupted but you coming to bed 5 nights a week at 2.30am?

you have an 11 month old and you so give night shifts a week, every week?

Does he only run on the two mornings you have off. Does he usually successfully get the baby down before he goes. Is this a one off that he didn't want to miss because it o it happens a few times a week? Or was he juts being an arse?

Yeah right and when the favour’s returned they expect praise for it 🙄

I told DH off for kissing me and saying goodbye at 530am....it wakes me up! And I have to be up at 630am, so I can't then really get back in to a deep sleep for that last hour. Nice sentiment and all that, but no.

Your DH could go for a run at another time - 8pm, 10pm, whatever, but there is NO way he should have done that this morning.

This man can probably figure out a way to go running with the baby.
There are all terrain prams and jogging prams available to buy, how about he gets his arse in gear, buys one and uses it.
Rather than assuming someone who works shifts can just be wide awake a few hours after she went to bed.

Some of you have evidently never done shift work.
The best thing to do is keep to your sleep pattern for shifts, anything else is awful.

I must be in the minority here but I don't think he's being unreasonable. Presumably this is part of his usual routine, exercise is very very important to lots of people to keep their mental health balanced. I'm also presuming he's then off to work but mum is off yesterday and today so I'd say that was fair game. Especially since it seems the little one will settle back down for a bit.

I agree with this.

I have done the whole working evenings and nights around DH working days.

It's shit for everyone. The one working is stuck with the kids all day and then has to work with no break. The one at home in the evenings has to work all day and is then trapped indoors all night with the child.

I did it for three years and it almost broke our marriage.

Who said go to bed 4 hours earlier?! But even midnight would be better.

And yes I would be able to go to sleep 2 hours before I normally do.

In the minority of 2. I am both a runner and have done night shifts. As you say you weren't working last night and are off today. When else is he supposed to run ?

You’ve never worked shifts have you?

I used to work similar shifts OP and it used to kill me having to be up at 7.30 to get the kids ready for school. Your dh is a selfish bastard and I wouldn’t be shy of telling him

Complete prick OP.

maybe Op works those hours because that’s when DH isn’t routinely working and therefore they don’t have to pay for expensive childcare..

Minority of 3.

Op went to sleep at 1because she normally doesn't sleep until the early hours . She can't just go to bed earlier it would be like you trying to go to bed at 5pm

Would like to add that my DH is actually one who carries his fair share of the load. But when all you both do is work and look after kids without anything for either of you for yourself it gets a bit fucking shit.

Plus if OP was the bloke and it was the other way around MN would still be screaming that the bloke was selfish for not going to bed earlier.

If I worked “more sociable hours” we would be paying for full time childcare for two children which would take up all my salary and then some. So there’d be no point working at all. I don’t do these hours for the fun of it, believe me.