Woman in hospital bed opposite is driving me up the wall

[mullerfruitcorner]

I've been in hospital for best part of 9 weeks so I am probably being a bit unreasonable as I'm home sick, I miss my baby at home and I'm really poorly.

Woman opposite me came in last week to have her gallbladder removed. As soon as she came in she was demanding everything from the nurses. We all know we have a buzzer and we have to wait our turn but I had just come out of a nasty 20 minute seizure and she was shouting over saying 'she's finished now you can come to me'
She wanted a cup of hot water.. it's been like that the whole time and the nurses and us in this bay are getting fed up.
She constantly picks her nose and eats it. All the time. I've shouted so many times (during meal times) that it's disgusting and we don't want to see it as all of us in here are vomiting already. She replies with 'sorry it's annoying'

She has on multiple times shoved her fingers down her throat and made herself 'sick' and also poured her orange juice into the bowl and told the nurse she was sick to get IV anti sickness. She constantly spends the whole time itching her arse crack, she pulls the blanket off her and has no issue with having her legs wide open and we can see what she has for breakfast.
She hasn't left her bed once apart from to go to the loo. She hasn't showered at all, the nurses keep pushing her to shower but she doesn't want to. They've even offered a bedside wash and that was a no.

(She is fully mobile) I said to her yesterday 'shall we go for a little walk and brush our teeth?' She said she forgot to bring a toothbrush with her. They have spare here. She's been in for 6 days. She keeps complaining of chest pains and each time she has to have an ECG then a doc to review.
The infuriating thing is she only decides to get chest pain when I'm having a seizure. She only pretends vomits when somebody else is being sick.

I can't draw my curtain round and not see her as I need to be in eyesight of the doctors and nurses if I have seizures. (Up to 6 a day).

Everyone in the bay is getting tired of this. The nurses can see what she's doing. They told her she's medically fit to go home days ago but she won't leave as she has a new ailment.
There's probably nothing I can do. But I'm so close to losing my rag at her picking her beak and scratching her arse when we are all trying to get better. Trying to eat. We all have to touch the same finger monitor when they do our obs and I don't want to touch her germs, bogeys or arse crack particles. Small bay of 4 people.

What the hell can I do. It's making me so wound up but I can't do a thing about it.

Have you ever met an adult who does the things you are describing who doesn't have some form of mental health issue or other reason?

Your situation is awful, your health issues must be worrying and the length of time in hospital is dreadful for you.

But the way you are refusing to accept this person could be anything other than deliberately 'gross' is unpleasant.

But the way you are refusing to accept this person could be anything other than deliberately 'gross' is unpleasant.

But that is not what the OP has said. She has said in more than one post that the person clearly has mental health issues. But irrespective of the REASON for the behaviour, the behaviours which this woman is exhibiting is impacting on the OP's treatment. It's making her feel ill, disturbing her sleep, taking up the nurses' time. She has every right to raise merry hell and ask PALS to intervene or ask that this person be moved.

I think you're reading different posts to me, but in view of the OP's own very difficult situation I'm not going to post at length about this.

im really sorry yiu have been so I’ll for so long and are being subjected to this.

would it be possible to have a word with the nursing staff and ask to be moved?

There should be a liaison nurse within the hospital who specialises in care like this. I don't think many general wards are equipped to deal with it many staff haven't had the training. OP shouldn't be moved she's having seizures so needs to have a close eye kept on her. The best course of action would be the woman is moved to a side room.

People absolutely do not shove things up their nose for a laugh or probe their anuses. It just doesn't happen. . Probing/rooting happens when people have increased anxiety. It might be grim to you but the behaviour serves a purpose to that person. I'm a LD/MH professional I'd be more worried about someone probing than someone who said they felt a bit low.

Yes this thread is awful, in excusing the womans behaviour. We have gone too far on accepting any rude, nasty behaviour as mh issues or ld. It's not true at all! Just because someone has a low iq and is selfish does not mean amh diagnosis or ld. In fact this attitude is actually wrong as it leads to people labelling behaviour. Most people with mh issues or ld do not behave like this. I find it offensive so many write this off anyway.
Op actually has cancer and unpredictable seizures, this woman has been told already they are fit for discharge so should not be there.

Also even if you do have issues you still have to consider others. Do we allow those with a low mental age as adults to securely assault others because they have a child's mental age? No, we put in place safeguards.

Actually it does an LD is defined as having an IQ below 70. I have never seen someone who doesn't have a cognitive impairment/SMI probe themselves it just doesn't happen.

Well there needs to be funding , the woman isn't in the environment she absolutely shouldn't be in a bay Staff probably haven't had the training to effectively nurse her she probably doesn't have a hospital passport . A liaison nurse needs to come out , the community team to put a plan in place this is probably why the discharge is delayed . Both of these women are being failed. A lot of people with serious LD/MH/ABI do behave like this you just don't see it. It's not something the average Jo Bloggs would come across unless in hospital.

Stupid to dim, wow

I agree. I just don’t understand how people can’t accept some people are just grim. Do they live in ivory towers and are never exposed to these kinds of people?

OP said she was scratching her arse, which most people do (albeit not in public), not “probing her anus”.

Do they live in ivory towers and are never exposed to these kinds of people? Er, where do you live that people are putting straws up their nose but don't have mental health or other relevant issues?

I don't live in an ivory tower, no, I live in a regular town and interact with the expected range of people.

Op it sounds awful. I hope you managed to get moved.

Agree.

OP, it sounds utterly horrendous.

I feel 🤢 imagining the picture you paint.

Utterly disgusting.

🙄unfortunately the twats are always so quick to post their outrage at anyone who ever dares to complain about anything.🙄

I too am shit sick of MH being used as an excuse for everything.

You are clearly seriously unwell and I cannot imagine how stressful it must be having to share a ward and facilities with such a completely filthy person.

You have MY full sympathy.
Get well soon.

Quite. But I don't think it's an awful thread, as it happens.

I work for the NHS where I see normal grim people do attention seeking things regularly.

Have you ever met an adult who does the things you are describing who doesn't have some form of mental health issue or other reason?

Wouldn't matter if they had because someone would be along to tell them it's probably undiagnosed.

Not everyone who behaves in ways that are socially unacceptable has mental health issues or learning disabilities, none of us know if this woman does or not, but there's the possibility of either being true - putting every form of unacceptable behaviour down as a health issue - and giving anyone who raises the possibility that it's actually not, a resounding telling off, just gives those who do this a free pass to carry on and be excused for it, and makes it harder for those who genuinely do suffer with these issues to get the understanding and tolerance they need.

Absolutely this. Completely agree with you @Maverickess. I've been labelled rude and awful on here, but it's perfectly fine for the woman opposite me to expose herself and shove things up are nose and arse, put her fingers down her throat and pretend to vomit, shout at nurses that she needs a nurse there now when others are priority in that moment, not to mention chews like a washing machine and just spits out the food she doesn't like 'cos she has mental health' reasons. (Probably, not certainly though.) so no one can comment on how rude or disgusting it is. Baffles me.

I haven't been moved, I've asked and they won't move me because I'll be too far away.
I've got to have my curtain open so the staff can see me. If the staff shut hers she literally stomps and tantrums. I literally cannot bare the sight of her I just want to go home. :(

She's currently scrolling on her iPad with her finger up her nose complaining of a headache. Another ailment to add to the list.

@mullerfruitcorner you have my sympathy. I hope things improve for you very soon. Id curl up in the foetal position and shut down - unfortunately you cant do that. But maybe people here expressing understanding of your awful position will help you a little. 😘

I hope you manage to get some rest and peace from her, and wish you a speedy recovery from your illnesses 💐

Will they allow you to spin your bed so you're facing the wall? Not sure if the wires and everything would reach though.

Or would they have a swap around so she's in an end spot by the entrance to the bay so her side curtain can block her from the rest of the bay but she still has sight of the corridor/nurses? Might be enough to stop her shouting about her curtains being closed?

We're both in the entrance bays opposite each other unfortunately. I need to stay at the entrance so the nurses can see if I have a seizure.

I and others have asked to have her moved, but she also needs to be watched closely because of all the shoving bits everywhere / pretend throwing up fiasco so i think I'll just have to put up with her and thoroughly grit my teeth. Every single thing she does now annoys me it's like I'm on a knife edge waiting for her to make a noise. I'll be so happy when she goes / I go home (which hopefully is next week)

Although the PP who suggested putting my laptop in front of me helped, if I lay down nearly flat and have the laptop on my front I can just about not see her.

Hoping she'll go to sleep soon and everyone can have a peaceful night