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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Woman in hospital bed opposite is driving me up the wall

214 replies

mullerfruitcorner · 17/11/2022 09:03

I've been in hospital for best part of 9 weeks so I am probably being a bit unreasonable as I'm home sick, I miss my baby at home and I'm really poorly.

Woman opposite me came in last week to have her gallbladder removed. As soon as she came in she was demanding everything from the nurses. We all know we have a buzzer and we have to wait our turn but I had just come out of a nasty 20 minute seizure and she was shouting over saying 'she's finished now you can come to me'
She wanted a cup of hot water.. it's been like that the whole time and the nurses and us in this bay are getting fed up.
She constantly picks her nose and eats it. All the time. I've shouted so many times (during meal times) that it's disgusting and we don't want to see it as all of us in here are vomiting already. She replies with 'sorry it's annoying'

She has on multiple times shoved her fingers down her throat and made herself 'sick' and also poured her orange juice into the bowl and told the nurse she was sick to get IV anti sickness. She constantly spends the whole time itching her arse crack, she pulls the blanket off her and has no issue with having her legs wide open and we can see what she has for breakfast.
She hasn't left her bed once apart from to go to the loo. She hasn't showered at all, the nurses keep pushing her to shower but she doesn't want to. They've even offered a bedside wash and that was a no.

(She is fully mobile) I said to her yesterday 'shall we go for a little walk and brush our teeth?' She said she forgot to bring a toothbrush with her. They have spare here. She's been in for 6 days. She keeps complaining of chest pains and each time she has to have an ECG then a doc to review.
The infuriating thing is she only decides to get chest pain when I'm having a seizure. She only pretends vomits when somebody else is being sick.

I can't draw my curtain round and not see her as I need to be in eyesight of the doctors and nurses if I have seizures. (Up to 6 a day).

Everyone in the bay is getting tired of this. The nurses can see what she's doing. They told her she's medically fit to go home days ago but she won't leave as she has a new ailment.
There's probably nothing I can do. But I'm so close to losing my rag at her picking her beak and scratching her arse when we are all trying to get better. Trying to eat. We all have to touch the same finger monitor when they do our obs and I don't want to touch her germs, bogeys or arse crack particles. Small bay of 4 people.

What the hell can I do. It's making me so wound up but I can't do a thing about it.

OP posts:
SparkleTart · 17/11/2022 09:44

Badgirlriri · 17/11/2022 09:31

Don’t be ridiculous, this is what a lot of the general public is like!

The general female public doesn't expose themselves, fake heart pain, force themselves to vomit for attention and refuse to wash. Those are literally all signs of mental illness.

mullerfruitcorner · 17/11/2022 09:52

I've got AirPods thank god! They cancel out the gagging and the chewing and all the weird noises that come from her.

She is directly opposite me and the nurses are on my left. But my curtains only close from the left so if I drew them the nurses couldn't see me IYKWIM - I'm so bored I'll do a diagram if needed!

I couldn't imagine not brushing my teeth twice a day let alone not for 6 days. She probably does have MH issues but it doesn't make what she's going anymore gross and vile to look at.
She's so desperate to give herself a nose bleed last night she had a Capri sun straw up there digging away

It did actually bleed the tiniest bit (like when you lick a spot) and just kept shouting IM BLEEDING.

Such a waste of NHS time. I don't doubt that she needs help and she has MH issues but people in this bay are sick already and it's just so off putting to see it constantly.

I'm going to ask if the nurses can shut her curtains. Especially during meal times!

OP posts:
wibblewobbleball · 17/11/2022 09:52

OP I have no advice for you on what you can do about this woman but I just wanted say you have my every sympathy. I have just done one night on a maternity ward, my first ever night in hospital, and by the following afternoon I was crying and genuinely begged to be allowed to leave as I found it so horrible!! How you've done so many weeks I don't know, you are made of strong stuff 💪

mullerfruitcorner · 17/11/2022 09:53

PICK a spot. Not luck a spot. Although I'd much rather that at the mo

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 17/11/2022 09:57

Cry in apparent despair when the consultant comes around, and say you can't cope any more. They might be able to move you to a separate bay if something becomes free. If that doesn't work, kill her with a bed pan. 😉

takealettermsjones · 17/11/2022 10:00

Complain, and complain loudly. She's flashing you. If she can't stop she needs to be put against a wall or something where nobody can see her.

mullerfruitcorner · 17/11/2022 10:01

BoffinMum · 17/11/2022 09:57

Cry in apparent despair when the consultant comes around, and say you can't cope any more. They might be able to move you to a separate bay if something becomes free. If that doesn't work, kill her with a bed pan. 😉

Believe me I'm tempted.

OP posts:
batchainpuller · 17/11/2022 10:02

I feel sick just reading this. You poor thing 💐 I would tell the nurses how much it’s upsetting you and ask to be moved. It can’t hurt to try.

Twiglets1 · 17/11/2022 10:03

I feel sorry for you ...also the poor nurses, if this is what the general public are like no wonder there is a shortage of nursing staff!

mullerfruitcorner · 17/11/2022 10:03

takealettermsjones · 17/11/2022 10:00

Complain, and complain loudly. She's flashing you. If she can't stop she needs to be put against a wall or something where nobody can see her.

Everyone in the bay has complained so many times but they all come and go so quickly and I've been here for so long their tolerance is probably higher than mine.

But they have displayed being quite obviously put off with her.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 17/11/2022 10:05

Unfortunately it's not any of your business, annoying as it is and H is for hospital. Not hotel.

hesbeingabitofadick · 17/11/2022 10:05

Have a quiet word with one of the nurses you're mobile and she's a lazy fucker that won't clean her teeth, so go to the nurses station, ask for the ward manager/sister suggest they move her to a quite/private room...or they move you--
I guess the staff are more pissed off with her than you, but they can't say anything or the bitch will go straight to PALS and her MP and moan very loudly.
I hope so much that you get home soon. ❤

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 17/11/2022 10:06

OP, if you unattach the curtain from the leftmost hook, at the top, you should be able to slide the whole curtain round without it unfolding then just put it between you and her.

stopbeeping · 17/11/2022 10:07

Email pals from your bed

Ask to be in a side room where they can see you and explain why

Tell them you are losing your mind and want to see the chaplain

I totally know what you're talking about I've met people like this on every single hospital stay

Tell them she's asking for IV anti sickness for the high and she told you. Just lie.

Ask to be moved or for her to go into a side room

When she is opening her legs loudly tell her to stop exposing herself that it is inappropriate and you will complain

Have you got a partner or relative who can call the ward concerned about you and tell them on the phone what you're ensuring

NewNovember · 17/11/2022 10:07

Expose herself to you is a crime. Complain to the ward manager and insist that she, or yourself are moved . Contact PALS if you get nowhere.

hesbeingabitofadick · 17/11/2022 10:08

Not sure launching a bed pan has as much impact now they're cardboard rather than stainless steel...
tempting tho @mullerfruitcorner

MistyGreenAndBlue · 17/11/2022 10:11

Can't you just smother her in her sleep? 😉

Hope she gets discharged soon.

picklemewalnuts · 17/11/2022 10:15

Ask to be moved so you aren't directly across from her, or for her to be moved.

HappyHamsters · 17/11/2022 10:15

I would contact PALS and ask for her to be moved to a side room, annoying as that would be she is disrupting the ward and her behaviour is affecting other patients health and wellbeing.

bruffin · 17/11/2022 10:19

SparkleTart · 17/11/2022 09:44

The general female public doesn't expose themselves, fake heart pain, force themselves to vomit for attention and refuse to wash. Those are literally all signs of mental illness.

It's not normal is it
I've recently spend a week in hospital and previously 7 weeks. There are annoying people but nobody behaved like that. Even the poor Alzheimer patient in bed opposite me wasn't like OPs . She was lovely, just a bit confused in the middle of the night sometimes.

hesbeingabitofadick · 17/11/2022 10:20

OK.
We have a plan.

  1. Ask for an extra pillow
  2. Ask to see the Chaplain
  3. Tell the Chaplain you have "urges to kill her" you will smother the fucker with a pillow and tip the contents of her bed pan over her head whilst shoving the hospital provided toothbrush up her nose
  4. Start shouting out in terror/pain every time she does - and point out I WAS HERE FIRST YOU BITCH
  5. Tell them you've asked someone to bring you a knife, some chianti and a portion of fava beans...

either she will be moved or you will.

disclaimer it might not work...🤦‍♀️

roughly where are you? my local hosp is 2 miles away and I'd stage an intervention if you were there. Smile

mullerfruitcorner · 17/11/2022 10:25

Toddlerteaplease · 17/11/2022 10:05

Unfortunately it's not any of your business, annoying as it is and H is for hospital. Not hotel.

Hmmm, I disagree.

When she's picking her nose and itching her arse and doing things what are disgusting to look at, are making me vomit I think it's my business.

I'm queazy as it is but her behaviour is directly making me vomit. And vomiting will always trigger a seizure.

Plus we all have to share the same space as her with little to no privacy.

Lastly because she's attention seeking, the nurses have to go to her every single time whether she's pretending, or lot. Thus creating more time for the sick people who need the nurses. She makes such a racket until some come to her.

I know H is for hospital and doesn't mean hotel. It's where sick people go for medical attention and to recover.

Which this woman is hindering others getting that care as she keeps faking nose bleeds, chest pain and nausea

OP posts:
mullerfruitcorner · 17/11/2022 10:26

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 17/11/2022 10:06

OP, if you unattach the curtain from the leftmost hook, at the top, you should be able to slide the whole curtain round without it unfolding then just put it between you and her.

Amazing, thank you so much!!!

OP posts:
BellePeppa · 17/11/2022 10:26

Are you able to block your view of her with your curtain? She sounds mentally unstable. Is she elderly? Could you find out how long she’s in for? Ask (beg, plead) for a move if she’s in for the long term.

BellePeppa · 17/11/2022 10:29

Toddlerteaplease · 17/11/2022 10:05

Unfortunately it's not any of your business, annoying as it is and H is for hospital. Not hotel.

Easy to say when you’re not the one sharing space with her. Someone being disgusting in your eye line is your business!