Woman in hospital bed opposite is driving me up the wall

[mullerfruitcorner]

I've been in hospital for best part of 9 weeks so I am probably being a bit unreasonable as I'm home sick, I miss my baby at home and I'm really poorly.

Woman opposite me came in last week to have her gallbladder removed. As soon as she came in she was demanding everything from the nurses. We all know we have a buzzer and we have to wait our turn but I had just come out of a nasty 20 minute seizure and she was shouting over saying 'she's finished now you can come to me'
She wanted a cup of hot water.. it's been like that the whole time and the nurses and us in this bay are getting fed up.
She constantly picks her nose and eats it. All the time. I've shouted so many times (during meal times) that it's disgusting and we don't want to see it as all of us in here are vomiting already. She replies with 'sorry it's annoying'

She has on multiple times shoved her fingers down her throat and made herself 'sick' and also poured her orange juice into the bowl and told the nurse she was sick to get IV anti sickness. She constantly spends the whole time itching her arse crack, she pulls the blanket off her and has no issue with having her legs wide open and we can see what she has for breakfast.
She hasn't left her bed once apart from to go to the loo. She hasn't showered at all, the nurses keep pushing her to shower but she doesn't want to. They've even offered a bedside wash and that was a no.

(She is fully mobile) I said to her yesterday 'shall we go for a little walk and brush our teeth?' She said she forgot to bring a toothbrush with her. They have spare here. She's been in for 6 days. She keeps complaining of chest pains and each time she has to have an ECG then a doc to review.
The infuriating thing is she only decides to get chest pain when I'm having a seizure. She only pretends vomits when somebody else is being sick.

I can't draw my curtain round and not see her as I need to be in eyesight of the doctors and nurses if I have seizures. (Up to 6 a day).

Everyone in the bay is getting tired of this. The nurses can see what she's doing. They told her she's medically fit to go home days ago but she won't leave as she has a new ailment.
There's probably nothing I can do. But I'm so close to losing my rag at her picking her beak and scratching her arse when we are all trying to get better. Trying to eat. We all have to touch the same finger monitor when they do our obs and I don't want to touch her germs, bogeys or arse crack particles. Small bay of 4 people.

What the hell can I do. It's making me so wound up but I can't do a thing about it.

She throws a fit if her curtains are drawn unfortunately!

Flipping heck, I‘m nauseous just reading this. You’re a stronger woman than me. I’ve got form for delivering very un-cool monologues/telling offs/rants when pushed. They’re cringeworthy afterwards and probably to everyone else, but feel good in the moment.

I haven't said it's my business, have I?

Her disgusting actions are my business when it's impacting my medical conditions.

It's people like her that make me wish she had to pay for her treatment - that would stop her wasting NHS time and resources!!

I know you are ill but do you honestly think she's doing this just to annoy you ? She obviously isn't getting enough support and ward bay environment isn't right for her. It's the hospital managers you should be angry at she needs continuous observations 1:1 care. Absolutely complain so this can be sorted out but try not to be angry at her.

Realistically she isn’t going to get continuous observation or 1:1 care. Help for mental health problems is not easy to get - if she were a danger to herself or others she may be sectioned but it doesn’t sound as though she is.

It’s unpleasant for the nurses and the other patients.

@Laneyy why would I think she's doing it to annoy specifically me?

She's pissing everyone off, not just me.
She is putting straws up nose to try and initiate a nosebleed. She is putting her hands down her throat to puke (which hasn't been successful)
When another patient is being seen to, or is in pain, whatever else - she demands to be seen herself.

So no, I'm not annoyed at the staff really. Maybe they should give her more care, but they have sicker patients to deal with than someone sticking plastic up their nose for the fun of it. So I am annoyed at her, directly annoyed at her and so are the rest in this bay.

What a horrible thread, the blame should be on the governments who have cut beds, funding, mental health units, staffing and unfortunately left patients in totally unsuitable wards...

The error in your thinking is someone sticking plastic up their nose for the fun of it

Why do you think she is doing it for fun? If this is her idea of fun, does that not suggest a mental health issue?

I understand it is annoying/upsetting - but what is upsetting is that someone so clearly unable to operate is being left without support, care or medication in a regular understaffed hospital bed.

It is very frightening when this happens. The last time I was in hospital a patient punched a nurse. It was frightening.

But people who are clearly struggling are also victims of the state of services - they are in the wrong place because our whole system has broken.

Problem is, this woman is in hospital because she had her gallbladder removed. It may be that the ward she is in is the right ward for that. She may have other learning disabilities but she isn’t in hospital for that.

You mentioned the finger probe. Post covid they should be cleaning it between each patient and the blood pressure cuff, should have been normal proactive before covid too. Ask them to clean it. I like that in other countries you have your own cuff they attach to the machine for infection control

Do you know for an absolute fact she has mental health problems then?

Are you oblivious to the fact some people are just gross people that do gross things?

Obviously the latter is less of a chance, but still possible.

Yes the government are responsible for the cuts and they should hang their heads in shame. But everyone is so quick to blame everything on mental health issues when there will be many times it's not due to MH problems. Some people are just grim.

Those need to be separated so they don't add to the everlasting long list of MH patients waiting for care. Rather than assuming every single person who does something out of the ordinary has mental health problems. No wonder the industry is stretched.

I do hope you are better soon, and back at home.!

This patient sounds really difficult. But I do wonder if she has mental illness/ learning difficulties, as nowadays people don't usually spend over a week in hospital just for gall bladder surgery- maybe they're putting some sort of care plan in place? I hope for your sake and everyone's sake that she gets moved soon!

No I am not oblivious, i have worked in health care for 30 years so have seen a lot of different behaviours. You are on the wrong ward, perhaps she is too.

This lady must be driving OP mad why can't she vent on Mumsnet? My friend was recently in hospital and the old lady opposite her would often wake her up in the middle of the night by shaking her, scaring her half to death. She was also fond of whipping her top off and flashing the ward. She wasn't actually meant to be getting out of bed at all. Desperately sad but doesn't mean it's not highly irritating if you're in there trying to recover from multiple fractures. My friend was moved in the end as the lack of sleep was hampering her recovery.

I hope she's discharged soon so you get some peace.

Blimey. Poor you. 9 weeks is a very long time. Are you due to be discharged and go home soon?

My Mum was in hospital recently and the woman in the bed next to her wailed day and night (she had a form of dementia as well as the thing she was in the ward for). It drove all the women mad (and my Mum is really deaf so was less affected than the others).

It’s fine for the OP to vent. She’s been in for 9 weeks and the person opposite keeps shoving their hand up their bum. Ugh

Haven't RTFT but could you ask for a single room? In our hospital you can pay £30 for 2 nights in a single room with private toilet attached.

Punch her in the mouth
Just kidding..

Both patients are ill; neither are having their needs met with the current arrangement. Great sympathy for the OP, the other lady is very much the hospital‘s responsibility, however. OP has been extremely patient in the circumstances IMVHO.

It isn't. It's a thread posted by someone who is at her wits' end, who is seriously unwell, and who has been in hospital for a protracted nine weeks.

Is it any wonder this poor OP is at the end of her tether? What she doesn't need right now is a lecture on others' mental health. What about her own mental health and the impact on her own recovery?

It's very easy to pontificate when you're not the one actually expected to undergo the suffering. And of course, the thread also says something very serious about the current state of the NHS. There's a thread somewhere absolutely slating the nursing staff for daring to strike, yet expecting them to work, nurse and care for patients in sub-standard conditions. I wonder whether the MN members complaining about 'selfish' striking workers would last even a week in those conditions, and I speak from very recent experience.

Frankly, we should all be standing on those picket lines with them. Hang in there, OP. I hope you receive the care and support you need to make your recovery as swift as possible.

Sadly if OP is under close medical attention for seizures, it’s unlikely that she would be able to move into a side room as patients in side rooms are less visible to nursing staff. High acuity patients are usually cared for in bays because they are more visible to the nursing staff (unless the patient has a contagious disease or is end of life, in which case they are moved to a side room) - this is how it works in my Trust anyway.

OP - I hope this is resolved soon, it sounds unbearable 😢

We can be sympathetic to the OP's awful situation AND think it is an awful thread.

I agree about the state of the NHS - that is the cause of both people's bad situations.

As I said, the last time I was in hospital someone who clearly should never have been on the general ward punched a nurse, it was terrifying.