Woman in hospital bed opposite is driving me up the wall

[mullerfruitcorner]

I've been in hospital for best part of 9 weeks so I am probably being a bit unreasonable as I'm home sick, I miss my baby at home and I'm really poorly.

Woman opposite me came in last week to have her gallbladder removed. As soon as she came in she was demanding everything from the nurses. We all know we have a buzzer and we have to wait our turn but I had just come out of a nasty 20 minute seizure and she was shouting over saying 'she's finished now you can come to me'
She wanted a cup of hot water.. it's been like that the whole time and the nurses and us in this bay are getting fed up.
She constantly picks her nose and eats it. All the time. I've shouted so many times (during meal times) that it's disgusting and we don't want to see it as all of us in here are vomiting already. She replies with 'sorry it's annoying'

She has on multiple times shoved her fingers down her throat and made herself 'sick' and also poured her orange juice into the bowl and told the nurse she was sick to get IV anti sickness. She constantly spends the whole time itching her arse crack, she pulls the blanket off her and has no issue with having her legs wide open and we can see what she has for breakfast.
She hasn't left her bed once apart from to go to the loo. She hasn't showered at all, the nurses keep pushing her to shower but she doesn't want to. They've even offered a bedside wash and that was a no.

(She is fully mobile) I said to her yesterday 'shall we go for a little walk and brush our teeth?' She said she forgot to bring a toothbrush with her. They have spare here. She's been in for 6 days. She keeps complaining of chest pains and each time she has to have an ECG then a doc to review.
The infuriating thing is she only decides to get chest pain when I'm having a seizure. She only pretends vomits when somebody else is being sick.

I can't draw my curtain round and not see her as I need to be in eyesight of the doctors and nurses if I have seizures. (Up to 6 a day).

Everyone in the bay is getting tired of this. The nurses can see what she's doing. They told her she's medically fit to go home days ago but she won't leave as she has a new ailment.
There's probably nothing I can do. But I'm so close to losing my rag at her picking her beak and scratching her arse when we are all trying to get better. Trying to eat. We all have to touch the same finger monitor when they do our obs and I don't want to touch her germs, bogeys or arse crack particles. Small bay of 4 people.

What the hell can I do. It's making me so wound up but I can't do a thing about it.

You absolutely can tell the nursing staff that you want her moved away from you as soon as the next patient goes home.

I wouldn't if he had an LD , MH or ABI issues who are more likely to be in hospital than the general population . We have some who urinate inappropriately in places or touch themselves. They get moved back to their room if possible , if not we try to cover them. We tell them it's inappropriate but normally they don't register that. I think some people have led very sheltered lives , if you called the police they would laugh as obviously they don't have capacity to purposely flash.

Would you be outraged if a toddler flashed ?

"ooh, I've got mental health me" drives me bonkers. So many people use it as an excuse for bad behaviour and to take the piss.

I think stop judging others and focus on yourself. This person is potentially either a mess or has mental health problems, try to rise above it if you can and focus on your own health.

It's not an excuse, it is a genuine reason

What's your excuse for being an unkind person? Why is being a judgey arse any better?

I'm finding it hard to focus on myself when she is directly in front of me shoving fingers up bums picking her nose and putting fingers down her throat knowing when she goes to the loo i have to touch the same door handle as her. Or when I'm trying to eat my lunch I have someone's vag 3 metres away. Or when I'm just coming out of a horrible seizure she is shouting saying 'my turn I need help now'

The fact I'm in very close proximity with someone who hasn't showered or cleaned their teeth for days.
Yes they was the obs machine but it's the thought of putting that temperature thermometer under my tongue when it's been in hers. Yes there are disposable covers on them but it's still minging, she is making me vomit and vomiting is a trigger for seizures.

But yes, I'm trying to focus on myself.

@Laneyy

A toddler flashing is no comparison to someone laying there with legs wide open knowing she hasn't washed in best part of a week and is shoving fingers up her shitter when people are trying to eat and not vomit.

And I also have a toddler. I can categorically tell you that anyone would react to the above differently, to a toddlers bum. Rather a silly comparison.

I wasn't referring to the woman in hospital, I was referring to the number of drama queens out there, and, some of who I know for a fact have got sod all the matter with them.

If that makes me judgey, then yeah, I'll own it.

Shouldn't that be "mental ill-health" or "mental illness"? It irritates me that the words "mental health" now seems to mean the opposite. I have had lifelong severe depression. That means I'm mentally ill/have mental ill-health. It would be nonsensical for me to say "I've got mental health" I wish!

No it's not a silly comparison because someone with an LD/ABI can be in an adult sized body but have the mind processing of a toddler. They don't have the insight to know the behaviour is inappropriate. The behaviour you describe It's called rooting it happens more when someone is anxious. They sound like they are being failed really they need to be moved to a side room and have continuous observations. They need prompting to attend to their personal hygiene.

Arse picking is a diagnostic of no mental illness.

What difference could it make if it was, anyway. The disclaimer doesn’t make much of a diff when it’s happening to you. Skank may be delusional but her behaviour is all too real.

Poor OP 💐

Well you are misinformed it's called rooting and yes it can happen when people have LD , SMI , Dementia or ABi.

Oh, OP, nine weeks? How horrible for you. I had two weeks in hospital this summer (when the weather was really uncomfortably hot) after I was badly injured and then developed blood clots post-surgery. A fortnight in that place without my husband and little boy was more than enough. Nine weeks sounds like absolute purgatory.

Nothing really constructive to add, other than you have my utmost sympathy. You don't need presenting with additional problems on top of this, you really don't. YANBU - but I'm not really sure what you can do about it other than make your views known to the medical staff.

Hope you are better and out of there ASAP!

You’d be surprised how many people I’ve encountered who do exactly that! You wouldn’t believe what NHS staff have to deal with it on a day to day basis.

Some of the responses on here are a bit strange. The OP has been in for nine weeks and is really unwell. I expect she has compassion fatigue.

I like to think that I am kind to and about the general public … but that is because I don’t have to spend much time with the general public. Some of them are utter horrors, with or without learning disabilities.

I hope you never sustain a brain injury as you may well end up doing that "skanky" behaviour .

Its that literal expression that's used ( and not by me) You would expect there to be a few more words involved....🙄

Exactly.

Op you have my absolute sympathy and I wish you well.

I have mental health problems myself and don’t take any offence to this in the slightest. This woman sounds intolerable and if anything, it’s affecting YOUR mental health and well-being, thus delaying your recovery.

Nah. Speak to the nurses/ ward manager / Drs and I really hope it gets sorted.

Look after yourself 💐

PS sorry to hear about your depression. I had an aunt that suffered greatly.

@LaGioconda I mean wether the other person is actually unwell or faking it. Other people's medical
Information is non of her business.

I do feel for you. I was in hospital for 6 weeks in 2021 and it felt like a lifetime, but at least I was in a side room. I hope you can get out soon.
Can the nurses at least keep pulling her curtain around when she does these things so you ding have to see it? She sounds like she has some mental problems, tbh.

I agree.

Many people don’t realise NHS staff have to deal with patients like this on a regular basis.

Exposing yourself , sticking your fingers up your arse isn't socially acceptable or normal behaviour. I'd believe this person was mentally ill over someone who said they were a bit depressed or OCD . Which is overused.

Can't the nurses get her to put some pants on?

Probably not without a fight, no.

Every service is broken. People with complex mental health needs or other complicated issues are not supported. They wind up in hospital. There are too few nurses to deal with it.

It is shit the OP is dealing with this, but clearly the other person is not well, in whatever way, and every system and service is broken.