Woman in hospital bed opposite is driving me up the wall

[mullerfruitcorner]

I've been in hospital for best part of 9 weeks so I am probably being a bit unreasonable as I'm home sick, I miss my baby at home and I'm really poorly.

Woman opposite me came in last week to have her gallbladder removed. As soon as she came in she was demanding everything from the nurses. We all know we have a buzzer and we have to wait our turn but I had just come out of a nasty 20 minute seizure and she was shouting over saying 'she's finished now you can come to me'
She wanted a cup of hot water.. it's been like that the whole time and the nurses and us in this bay are getting fed up.
She constantly picks her nose and eats it. All the time. I've shouted so many times (during meal times) that it's disgusting and we don't want to see it as all of us in here are vomiting already. She replies with 'sorry it's annoying'

She has on multiple times shoved her fingers down her throat and made herself 'sick' and also poured her orange juice into the bowl and told the nurse she was sick to get IV anti sickness. She constantly spends the whole time itching her arse crack, she pulls the blanket off her and has no issue with having her legs wide open and we can see what she has for breakfast.
She hasn't left her bed once apart from to go to the loo. She hasn't showered at all, the nurses keep pushing her to shower but she doesn't want to. They've even offered a bedside wash and that was a no.

(She is fully mobile) I said to her yesterday 'shall we go for a little walk and brush our teeth?' She said she forgot to bring a toothbrush with her. They have spare here. She's been in for 6 days. She keeps complaining of chest pains and each time she has to have an ECG then a doc to review.
The infuriating thing is she only decides to get chest pain when I'm having a seizure. She only pretends vomits when somebody else is being sick.

I can't draw my curtain round and not see her as I need to be in eyesight of the doctors and nurses if I have seizures. (Up to 6 a day).

Everyone in the bay is getting tired of this. The nurses can see what she's doing. They told her she's medically fit to go home days ago but she won't leave as she has a new ailment.
There's probably nothing I can do. But I'm so close to losing my rag at her picking her beak and scratching her arse when we are all trying to get better. Trying to eat. We all have to touch the same finger monitor when they do our obs and I don't want to touch her germs, bogeys or arse crack particles. Small bay of 4 people.

What the hell can I do. It's making me so wound up but I can't do a thing about it.

Ask the staff to do a bed switch around, i always rotate where patients are if we have similar on the ward. Apart from anything else it won't be doing your seizures any good at all being under this stress.

Posters HAVE been saying she is likely to have MH/ LD..

So your analysis and conclusion are wrong.

Yes, and all these "jokey" comments saying that the OP should kill her are delightful

It sounds like an awful situation for all in the ward, including the woman who is causing the problems. She obviously has some deep rooted issues which are causing her to behave in this way and it is having a negative effect on those in the beds around her. I hope she is discharged or moved soon so you can concentrate on getting better.

Are you the woman? You're the one opposite me with the skanky nose pickings.
You must be, as everyone else on here wouldn't put up with it either.

If I'm rude for calling out disgusting behaviour, good. Glad that's the case.

You don't sound very understanding, weeks in hospital are very stressful and we all have our snapping point.
The nurses do understand that normally

I can fully confirm she is not homeless.
Her as and her sister came yesterday to try and talk to her about coming home.

I can't believe how grim that is.
I just wanted to wish you well and hope you can get the right treatment to get better.

Op sounds horrid no advice but "shut your legs I don't want to see what you had for breakfast" reminds me of my family back in the day. A gross term yes, sexist yes, but I haven't heard it in such a long time it's made me quite nostalgic 😂

Her dad*

Just to make it clear, I have slightly changed details of this when I type it out. There is no exaggeration or drip feeding.

Just slightly tweaked as one person mentioned she might recognise herself on here. (Age, location, type of op she had) but they're all very similar so the real details don't change the story at all.

Which wouldn't be a bad thing as she may get the hint to stop picking her nose and putting her hand in her backside when people are trying to eat.

(She also kicks off if anyone shuts her curtain)

The only thing I can do is try and pay for a side room if they're available. Or ask for a rotation.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I appreciate it's pretty obvious she has mental health issues. I haven't said anything about her doing this on purpose to piss everyone off, but mental problem or not, it's still disgusting, spreading germs, touching the same door handles, it's minging and I've just snapped.

She needs to be moved mostly and firstly, so she can still have some dignity. And secondly, as it's making everyone around her extremely uncomfortable. One lady next to me is on the verge of self discharging.

You can't pay for a side room if you are having seizures as you won't be in view of the nursing staff.

How come you're not in critical care with seizures lasting twenty minutes plus regularly?

Good luck with something happening. People who are telling you you're terrible presumably haven't had a long stay in hospital.

The lack of peace and privacy when you're not well (between people including the staff conducting their lives at top volume) and interupted nights its hard to be sympathetic.

Dont get me started on the behaviour of visitors, people on calls (as we hear their life history for the umpteenth time) and blaring tvs or laptops. 😠

There is 3 side rooms opposite the desk. I can keep the door open..

I have spent 3 weeks in CCU. CCU is for critical cardio unit. Or the cardio equivalent of ICU.
I have been moved to this 'surgical ward' waiting for a bed to come up in cardio, or last resort in neurology dept, as I'm in a new hospital. I'm not in the ward I'm meant to be in but there are a shortage of beds.

I was in CCU at the other hospital, waiting for a bed in the right department here and as soon as there is one I'm first on the list.

Hoping either I go there soon or she goes home!

You don't sound awful at all this sounds horrendous. If it was a man doing these things and flaunting his balls you'd be told to report it to the police.

Tell me about it! Always the way...

All of this ☝️

Oh my lovely it sounds utterly horrendous.
please please ask to be moved … have the headphones and I really do hope that you soon feel much better.
Massive hugs to you 💕 💐

Nothing will happen unless you keep complaining about it and making it clear that this is adversely affecting people's RECOVERY, so it's not just annoying it's actually costing the NHS time and money too. The nurses don't want people throwing up because of the behaviour of another patient. It sounds to me like being stuck on a train with someone with a lot of antisocial behaviour but you can't get off.

Best of luck fighting for action, they need to at the very least move her and give someone else a go with her.

Attitudes like this are part of the reason people behave like this and continue to imo, telling people off for having a perfectly understandable reaction to someone else's appalling behaviour that they're being subjected to without a choice.

Not everyone who behaves like this has a mental health issue or LD, some people are just arseholes and unfortunately arseholes get ill at some point too and need treatment and encouraging people to just put up and shut up gives the impression that this type of behaviour is fine and they're perfectly reasonable to behave like that - and thus the cycle continues and the behaviour escalates.

I'm sick to death of people who defend those among us who behave like this and make them out to be a victim when they're challenged on their shitty behaviour, you don't automatically become a Saint because you walk through the door of a hospital.

@Maverickess

You have written exactly what I wanted to write in a much better way.
Thank you.
I wholeheartedly agree with every word you've said, and I don't feel 'rude' or 'awful' for challenging such disgusting behaviour especially when it's impacting others time, money and care.

As you said LD or not, some people are just arseholes. And some of those arseholes like shoving their hands up their arseholes when people are eating! Boaaakkkk

For you to manage being stuck in hospital ask for a bottle of handgel to be available before you have to interact with common surfaces. The curtain should go around partially so that you have privacy from other patients but that you are in view to the medical staff. You need to be placed to have your privacy from other patients.

You sound horrible, I know you are ill and I'm sorry for that. Many people with LD/MH issues do socially unacceptable things because they lack the insight into what the social rules are . She's not personally trying to annoy you. You don't have access to her medical records so you don't know what's wrong with her. She probably doesn't understand nor care showing her bits / picking her nose is going to upset you. It serves a purpose for her although you can't understand it. She's leaving soon ask to have your bed moved but most likely no she's not going to stop because you want her to.

"I understand that you seem to be very unwell"

WTF @transverseworries?! The OP has disclosed that she's suffering from 2 serious medical conditions (Cardiac arrhythmias/seizures and Cancer).

If you think the right of this woman to behave however she wants - mental health condition or not - trumps the right of OP to not be subjected for days (turning into weeks) on end to her disgusting, selfish and utterly inappropriate behaviour then you need to give your head a wobble. That last thing OP needs is elevated cortisol levels.

It sounds horrendous. Does she perhaps have some kind of intellectual disability?

Sorry I hadn't read the full thread before commenting, it seems you may already recognise that she has a LD. It still isn't nice for you though. I'd ask to be moved.