To think I wasn’t rude to colleague?

[hellohelloisityou]

Our office day is today and this was the first time she’d been in since solo travelling around India.

I asked how it went, did she enjoy it. Then I said did you get lonely?

She pretty much snapped back that you wouldn’t ask a couple if they’d argued whilst on holiday so why am I jumping to the negative

I apologised but felt very awkward tension afterwards

I don't think this is a strange question at all. I got lonely at times when I travelled. I think she is perhaps over sensitive. I would also have asked a couple if they got on each other's nerves spending that much time together so perhaps I'm unreasonable!

Yanbu. She was rude

I think it was really rude. If she was a very close friend then maybe not but even then it would still be a negative question, what was the point of asking her that, what were you hoping for? You asked her something personal about her feelings and you implied that it was strange she had gone alone. Do you have a partner? If you do that is even ruder.

I'd certainly find it a weird question. Why shouldn't a woman travel on her own round India, or any number of other places come to that? If well planned then it's fine.

I know a married woman who went to India for a month. Her husband stayed at home.

It isn't a question I would have asked. After all, I assume that she isn't in the habit of booking herself onto holidays she thinks she would hate. That would be utterly daft.

OP asked her if she enjoyed it and she presumably said yes. So do you say she is teaching people not to bother asking her about her holidays?

There are a million questions OP could have asked about India instead of ‘were you lonely?’

I’m guessing OP is one of those people who wouldn’t even eat in Pizza Hut alone.

Yes I think you were rude. It was a strange insensitive question to ask, when you could have instead asked anything about the trip itself, whereabouts did she go, what did she see, was the food nice, etc. You went for a question that was about her mental state.
That question might have been more appropriate in the context of "I'm thinking of making a solo trip but am worried I will feel lonely. Do you ever feel like that when you travel alone?"

I’m guessing OP is one of those people who wouldn’t even eat in Pizza Hut alone.

That's a bit of a reach. Vast difference between going to a local chain restaurant for a pizza, and embarking on a solo journey around a distant country.

If genuinely interested, surely "how did you find travelling alone?", is a much better question than the rather judgemental "were you lonely?"

Sounds like you hit a raw nerve @hellohelloisityou She probably DID get lonely, and wished she DID have someone with her. Only explanation for the snarky response IMO. People are generally only arsey/snappy when they're being defensive.

You did nothing wrong. She's got a stick up her arse, and wished someone was with her, and you got the brunt of it. To be honest, I can't think of anything worse than going on holiday alone. That's just me obvs, but no WAY would I do it.

She definitely has a point. No reason to ask that.

Try Googling the population of India.

Only explanation for the snarky response IMO. People are generally only arsey/snappy when they're being defensive

Sorry to piss on your amateur psychology/projection but people also get arsey and snappy when they've heard the same question one too many times.

Cool fan fiction you've written there, though.

I work with teenage girls. They're horrified by my tales of eating out, going to the theatre/cinema or travelling on my own. Attitudes like yours OP is why they think they can't do anything in their own.

Yanbu but she obviously did get lonely.

Presumably I would FAR rather travel alone than sit in a restaurant alone. I do the former frequently. The latter hardly ever (and can't get it over with quick enough when I do)

With your colleague here, 'weren't you lonely ' is not a positive question to ask about a trip.

What? Why are you assuming that?

I'm the other way round. I would find the travel aspect too stressful.

tetchy bitch. I wouldn't ask anything next time.

You were both unreasonable.

Rude to ask and an overreaction on her part. It will probably be awkward for a while!

Ha ha! I'd have loved to be alone in India!'
It's close to impossible! I once hid in an internet cafe for half a day in Kolkata, for no other reason than to escape people.

I don't think you were rude; but maybe others have criticized her for doing such trips on her own, and/or for not being part of a couple, so she may be defensive on the subject.

I am yes sorry 🙈 Assuming it by the strange response 🤣

Of course she got lonely, that’s why she had a mood on!