People who won't leave a restaurant when their child is kicking up

[JanetSally]

I was having dinner in a restaurant the other evening. A couple at another table had a small baby with them in a buggy. The mother had just fed the baby and put him back down but he wasn't happy and started crying, the noise escalating and escalating. The parents, who had finished their meal, very slowly finished their coffee/wine before leaving the restaurant despite the fact that people were turning around and looking at them.

I was in a cafe recently with a friend when her toddler started tantrumming. I said I was nearly finished and happy to go, but my friend said no, we'd paid for our food and were entitled to stay. She just wasn't budging, so I took her child outside while she finished every bit of her cake.

Why do some people do this? It's very unfair on everyone else in the restaurant.

Yanbu, utter selfish twats. Get out and take your bloody children with you. Could care less about what lesson you're trying to teach them, just get out.

Unless you've booked the restaurant to yourself, I dont see how you think you're entitled to eat there noise free.

Because people are selfish.

I take it you are one of those parents who dont give a shit. 🙄

Clearly YANBU but I'm not sure what you want out of this thread 😆 I'm guessing responses will all be one of three options:

A) I would never dream of doing this
B) I can go wherever I like with my children
C) Person B is a selfish arse

This hugely depends for me.

If you're in a family chain type restaurant at 6pm ish then families gotta eat and the kids might play up.

If you're in a very nice restaurant or any restaurant after 8pm then kids should be old enough to behave properly.

In cafes during the day, meh some kids are little shits sometimes. But I'd expect the parent to quickly eat and at least try to diffuse the situation

Exactly this, these threads always go the same way

I would have taken my children out when they were young if they were crying, but I wouldn't frown upon someone else for not taking theirs out. Its life, babies cry. My kids are young adults now, so no, in answer to your question I completely did give a shit when mine cried in somewhere like that. But unless you have privately booked somewhere I don't see how you can expect people to leave

Common decency, you take a child out rather than disturb other dinners

Selfish.

I know there’s talk about male entitlement, but certain kind of mothers come real close being even worse than that.

I wouldn't leave a busy daytime cafe. Expecting quiet is pretty unrealistic.

Evening dinner is a different matter. Children that small are inevitably tired and it isn't fair on them or other diners. I wouldn't take a child that small out after 7pm, they would be in bed.

I wouldn't leave immediately, I'd try to settle the child first. I don

You forgot option D) The posters who will come on to shout about the med and how children are always well behaved and welcome in eateries there.

Agree, this isn’t as black and white as OP is making it seem.

I have had times where I have walked baby around outside while DH finishes and vice versa, times where we just left and other times where I have tried to diffuse the tantrum but I’m starving, just paid for a meal, have no food at home so I’m not going to rush out the first second she starts crying and leave an entire meal.

As someone with two small children, YANBU. Eat up quickly and leave.

In this scenario I just don’t get how the parents can ignore the noise?

I find it really stressful listening to a child screaming and crying, and doubly so if it were one of mine! I certainly wouldn’t be able to carry on drinking/eating/chatting etc and would need to get out of there ASAP. I am a bit misophonic though; maybe others have a higher level of tolerance

Unless you've booked the restaurant to yourself, I dont see how you think you're entitled to eat there noise free.

Unless you’ve booked the restaurant to yourself, I don’t see how you think your entitled to sit there while your child screams his head off.

I don’t mind if people are trying to placate for a while as I don’t expect people to immediately leave and with my own DC they might start making a fuss and I will try to deal with it then if it’s not getting better I’ll go. It’s a balance as sometimes DC will start making a fuss because they’re bored and want to go and you don’t want to give in to them but it’s not fair on other people to keep on and on.

I think most people are fine - to a point - if parents are making an effort to calm the child. There comes a point where you have to give up though.

ds is 13 and autistic. Sometimes I need to take him for a walk so he can calm, sometimes we have to leave. It is what it is. One of the biggest triggers for him struggling in places is excess noise like children crying.

I'm more surprised that someone with a young baby ignored their crying and carried on drinking their coffee or wine.

In my 1st example both parents were there and they had finished their food and were just having wine/coffee.

In my second we were having cake and coffee and were at least halfway through our cake.

Not sure where the grey area is?

I have frogmarched a stropping toddler from a pub once while my husband polished off the toddlers pingu themed ice-cream-in-a-plastic-penguin-toy. Waste not want not!😀

I don't think anyone needs to abandon their lunch and leave just because their baby is crying. If there's two of you I guess you can take it in turns or whatever, but babies cry.

Evening restaurants are different I think.

I also think there's a big difference between a crying baby and a toddler or older child having a tantrum.

However, people who think they can leave their young child crying and calling out all the way through films and even worse live shows, on the other hand? Selfish fuckers.

Had this at a children's cinema show in the half term. Mum with older child of maybe 4/5 and a toddler. Toddler was screaming steadily and at one point even ran off but mum brought her back.

I did wonder why it took her so long to leave (about 15 mins) but I also felt sorry for her. She must have planned her morning to include an hour 'break' and the cinema and her younger (probably exhausting) child wasn't letting it happen.

It was also a showing aimed at children (cheaper tickets and show several episodes of a kid's show) so I figured it's part of the deal, but there are limits even for that.

Depends, I go to child friendly places to eat eg. pizza hut. I'd go either at lunchtime or between 5-6pm. If someone complained about the level of noise my child was making I'd be annoyed as I'd be trying to console them anyway. I wouldn't go to a more upmarket place with a young baby as she might cry just because.

Babies cry and some kids will have tantrums. I only find it annoying when the parent is ignoring the situation.