To not find my wealthy retired dad's " joke" funny?

[malificent7]

I work nhs shifts. I am really chuffed not to be working over Christmas but when I told my dad he replied " neither are we!" He hasn't worked for 10 years. I wouldn't mind so much if I wasn't struggling with the cost of living etc.

Do you resent your Dad being retired and wealthy? He has worked all of his life for this.

And sounds like you're pissed off that he's spending HIS money (not your inheritance or as you're trying to pass it off as your children').

You earn your own money. Your children can earn theirs. You seem to have a massive expectation of 'inheritance' off the back of someone else's hard work.

Do you feel better now that you’ve been nasty to a stranger online? Did you read all the OPs updates where she mentioned there was more going on?

maybe you should read your own comment and apply it to yourself.

FGS you must be offended by everything

I agree with you.

I wonder if he will be dishing out the jokes when he needs you as his health fails? or is that "different" ?

I don't work any longer and my DD is also in the NHS but if i saw her struggling, i'd help her, she doesn't waste her money and i'd rather see her happy now in life than leave her a larger inheritance i will never see the effect of.

I can picture my dear old dad saying this when he was still with us. Not an issue.

I agree, reading the room is the thing and some comments which might be funny at other times can be extremely unfunny when someone is busy and stressed.

Retired parents going on about what a busy day they've had wind me up at the best of times though.

My dad was always making 'jokes' like this. E.g. After I'd dashed round there to mow his lawn in my lunch hour he'd say 'rush back to work, someone's got to pay my pension'. It was relentless. Every time a 'joke'. Nobody else did that stuff. Well, except my brother and he can be an arsehole too.

I totally understand where you're coming from @malificent7 . It's the type of thing my dad says. It's thoughtless and self-focused. Rather than acknowledging the significance to you, he's immediately shifted to focus on himself. Not reading the room, self-absorbed and lacking empathy.

I’m sorry for your loss. That’s not your father’s fault though. You do say in your OP that your father says “we don’t have to work”. Has he remarried? Are you OK about that?

It's a bit selfish and he doesn't seem to be pleased for you. It's like he's a bit immature and going "ner ner ner ner, I don't have to work" -while you still slog away! A little insensitive perhaps.

It annoys me sometimes that my parents were both able to retire before they were 60, in a similar level job to the one I'm doing, and I will have to keep going until at least 65 if not 67. I obviously don't blame them, as I would have done the same in their position but I still wouldn't like them to throw it in my face like your dad is doing.

So your annoyed that your dad's working life is over, when you reach a certain age you can also retire.

I think you might be a bit oversensitive, but if he annoys you, just stop telling him stuff. Seriously. It's the only way not to get irritated every time he says something.

I think many older people really don't get what life is like and how different it is for younger people today. They think the only reason they have everything they have is due to being clever and hardworking and nothing to do with just the time they were born and the advantages that gave them. Worst of all imo, is when they vote to take away opportunities from younger people that they had themselves. I say all this as a well off baby boomer myself, I know I had it easy in comparison.

I don't think the OP has in any way suggested she's jealous of her dad, denies him the pleasure of his well earned retirement or that she wants his money.

She's said she's upset by in remark. He was thoughtless at best or cruel and calculating at worst.

Why do we have to accept this kind of casual put down or dig as a typical 'dad joke'? Didn't dads ought to be a bit kinder than that?

Telling someone they're oversensitive is a time honoured put down of someone who is being bullied and is used to belittle the genuine feelings of a person. It's a bully's tool.

Some boomers ( not all ) ( I fall just outside this category, but I am older than most mumsnetters) do wear rose coloured glasses.
I know I do it myself sometimes, but I do appreciate things are much harder these days.
Much harder. I think some empathy would be a nice thing rather than just being smug about it.

He’s retired…appreciate our generation will work longer and may be less well off but the fact remains you won’t work when you are retired either. I couldn’t get worked up about this. If this is the most annoying thing about your dad, be grateful you still have Xmas with him and get a bit of perspective OP.

If he really goes on about it that much I'd start saying things like:

Oh my god Dad ! Are you retired ? You've never mentioned it !

But then I'm a snarky B*tch.

I'm a boomer and I can honestly say that to me things look bloody gruelling for young people. They simply do not have the services, stability and support that we had and the world is a more complex, rapidly changing and confusing place. We should be giving a hand up not a put down.

I'm not a boomer because they were born in the 50s but I get how hard it is for young people because we sub our daughters all the time so they can get a foot up.

Other than the title of her thread you mean?

It comes across that she's annoyed he's got money and isn't passing over enough to her.

Now she's retired, my mum always says "hard luck" if you've mention going to work.

Like she didn't go to work every day for 50 odd years!

It really annoys me.

He's funny 😀

Turning into a bit of a boomer-bashing thread this now hasn't it? Not cool. Not ALL boomers are fucking rolling in it. And I am not a boomer by the way. 100% Generation X! Yes of COURSE it's hard for young people these days, but the very idea that everyone born before 1965 has had an easy life, and everything has fallen onto a silver platter for them, is ignorant and presumptuous (along with also being bloody wrong!)

Maybe the OP's dad has been the butt of snide remarks for having the audacity to finish work. And THIS is why he makes these kind of comments/jokes!

A friend of mine retired early due to ill health - at 53 - after working 37 years. Almost immediately, she started to receive a barrage of snarky comments and verbal abuse, from bitter and jealous people (usually women around the same age as her within 3 to 5 years,) who still have to work. I mean, never mind the fact she has disability and is in pain half the time or anything! So maybe the OP's dad keeps getting similar remarks and is on the defence.

@AnyFucker

Or those smug retirees I know who said “It almost makes me wish I still had to work again” on the news of an extra bank holiday for King Charles coronation.

I have literally NEVER heard anyone who is retired say 'I almost wish I was working again so I could get the extra bank holiday off.' Why would anyone even say that? It makes zero sense.

Also @malificent7 as a pp said, why mention you do NHS shifts?

When I was in my 20s/30s I was skint, didn't own my own home, was in debt and barely covering the interest and living in my overdraft.

Now I am close to retirement I am comfortable (assuming I don't lose my job any time soon!) and through careful planning, sometimes working 2 jobs and living frugally we have more savings that I would ever thought I would (but still probably less than many) and preparing to be financially secure in my retirement until, well, death, so I won't ever be a financial burden on my ds. I will need those savings/assets to last me the rest of my life as I will have no means of earning more again.

Lets hope he doesn't resent my retirement or the finances I have worked hard to get in place because of a cliché comment. I would swap it for his youth any day!

have literally NEVER heard anyone who is retired say 'I almost wish I was working again so I could get the extra bank holiday off.' Why would anyone even say that? It makes zero sense

I have. When the extra BH was announced. On an open FB town page with fairly high levels of deprivation.