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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not find my wealthy retired dad's " joke" funny?

225 replies

malificent7 · 14/11/2022 22:51

I work nhs shifts. I am really chuffed not to be working over Christmas but when I told my dad he replied " neither are we!" He hasn't worked for 10 years. I wouldn't mind so much if I wasn't struggling with the cost of living etc.

OP posts:
Pallisers · 15/11/2022 01:42

I work bloody hard now and I guarantee you when I am retired and my daughter says "I've got christmas off!" I'll say "I'm so glad for you love"

Is there a love language that is "annoy your offspring"?

pompomdaisy · 15/11/2022 01:45

I'm 55 and have worked since 16. When I get to retire I'm also going to make these types of lame jokes. It's a right of passage. You need to chill. Yes I'm also a nurse. If you hated working Xmas so much then the nhs is not the best choice of occupation.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 15/11/2022 02:44

He worked for a long time before this, presumably - why do you grudge your father a retirement?

It was a joke.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 15/11/2022 02:52

Pallisers · 15/11/2022 01:42

I work bloody hard now and I guarantee you when I am retired and my daughter says "I've got christmas off!" I'll say "I'm so glad for you love"

Is there a love language that is "annoy your offspring"?

That's definitely a love language in my house, and it works both ways!

MiddleParking · 15/11/2022 03:23

Why is it okay for you to say you’re not working over Christmas when there’s a cost of living crisis on but your dad shouldn’t?

Heronwatcher · 15/11/2022 04:16

Sounds like a dad joke to me. If it really bothers you don’t discuss work with him- sounds like you might be a bit oversensitive, I don’t know but could it be that you’re not enjoying your own job? If so that’s not his fault and resenting his retirement won’t help.

PinkSyCo · 15/11/2022 04:21

Och stop with ya moaning. You’ve got Christmas off haven’t you? Hmm

ApathyMartha · 15/11/2022 04:24

My dad does that. It’s not funny and it feels like he’s showing off when repeating how late he’s stayed up, got up, his life of leisure etc. It shows a lack of empathy and understanding and I would never do that to anyone else. We don’t have the greatest relationship anyway so if it is a dad joke it’s a feeble attempt at humour. Maybe if he occasionally acknowledged how hard I’ve had to work I’d laugh at his comments.

butterfliedtwo · 15/11/2022 04:29

malificent7 · 14/11/2022 22:57

There is more but it's outing .

So how can people comment? YABU to moan because your dad's retired.

onlythreenow · 15/11/2022 04:30

Oh grow up!

IamThegreaterMole · 15/11/2022 04:36

It’s like people go around hunting for things to be offended about. It’s becoming a national sport. Sooner or later everyone will have to stop communicating entirely because the risk of causing offence is too great.

FormerlySpeckledyHen · 15/11/2022 04:50

You will be old one day OP. Your time to retire will come.

Original poster
malificent7 · 15/11/2022 05:10

I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't accompanied by how shit the nhs is ( (true), how interest rates were worse in the 70s and how Brexit is not to blame for staff shortages etc. But i guess deep down i am sad my mum never made it to retirement.

OP posts:
DrMarciaFieldstone · 15/11/2022 05:15

So the ‘we’ is your dad and a new partner, and you’re sad your mum never made it to retirement, so why should he be happy?

You seem to really resent him.

Herejustforthisone · 15/11/2022 05:15

malificent7 · 14/11/2022 22:56

Back story is that he's always banging on about not having to work.

I presume he worked all his life, so…?

butterfliedtwo · 15/11/2022 05:37

malificent7 · 15/11/2022 05:10

I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't accompanied by how shit the nhs is ( (true), how interest rates were worse in the 70s and how Brexit is not to blame for staff shortages etc. But i guess deep down i am sad my mum never made it to retirement.

None of the above is his fault though? Maybe step back from him due to the resentment. Better for both of you.

AuntieMarys · 15/11/2022 05:57

You clearly expect your dad to help you out. Is he aware you are struggling?
Don't resent people for being retired. You sound like someone I know who at 38 says " I wish I had your life". I'm 25 years older, worked all my life and am enjoying not working in my 60s.

StopsWalkingToSneeze · 15/11/2022 05:59

malificent7 · 14/11/2022 22:56

Back story is that he's always banging on about not having to work.

That will be me in 5 years hopefully. In the meantime I’ll bang on about being mortgage free.

brighterthanthemoon · 15/11/2022 06:11

malificent7 · 14/11/2022 22:57

There is more but it's outing .

That's probably the bit that's bothering you tbh

Opaljewel · 15/11/2022 06:14

Just a joke... chill.

But thank you for helping the NHS. I am grateful to you for being there over Christmas and for your patients.

SkinnyFatte · 15/11/2022 06:15

My dad does this. I say "haha" sarcastically and move on.

headstone · 15/11/2022 06:20

I’d rather be young and working then older and retired.

Campervangirl · 15/11/2022 06:21

Hes joking, I'd roll my eyes and laugh.
I'm late 50s, still working full time, I've worked full time for over 40 yrs so I can't wait to retire.
He's probably the same as me, worked his whole life, had his struggles and looked forward to his well deserved retirement.
As for his comment about the 70s, I was a child then but I remember the struggles, the 3 day week, the electricity going off, my parents having no money

Justnosing · 15/11/2022 06:26

Oh Christ. This is why as a country we’ve really lost our sense of humour. Bloody get a grip!

CantFindTheBeat · 15/11/2022 06:28

You know what, my BIL works for the NHS at a local really busy-to-overflowing hospital.

On the rare year his shifts mean he isn't working Christmas, we'd say 'bloody brilliant, that's great news, so pleased for you".

Your dad's comment is a joke but it makes it all about him and doesn't reflect the challenges you have.

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