Rude text from holiday let .. how to control children’s mess.

[Nogg]

I feel a bit upset. I got this really rude shaming message from a short ( 2 month) rental owner I was staying in. Saying I left it a mess/ unclean with small damages. That it didn’t smell nice etc
I feel a bit mortified as the lady was nice. I thought I’d cleaned it ok but she disagreed. So embarrassing.
There was no dining table do had to eat on sofa . No hoover so I bought my own albeit cheap one.
So now I’m thinking maybe I am not making enough effort. I try to control kids 4 and 7. I wfh full tube plus extra. There is so little time with work, school and basics to cover. I try to stop youngest kid from making a mess but he (and actually both seem really messy eating ) and youngest is generally destructive. I’m always telling off, nagging and cleaning but maybe I don’t do enough or maybe I’m not very good at it.
how can I get kids not to make a mess. Feel really upset at myself! I am always nagging but kids don’t change or listen.

That's Airbnb prices. I'd ignore. My friend cleans these, one family trashed a house in three days, even broke ornament.

It's Air BnB - you probably paid a massive cleaning charge anyway. Why would you deep clean when you left? In the future, stick your kids on top of a sheet or blanket when they eat somewhere where they'll make a mess and shake it out outside. But it couldn't be that bad if your deposit was returned. Try to let it go.

I don’t understand the “ok” clean. It’s either clean or it’s not. A cloth and a squirt of antibac and it should have been done.

Definitely insist your DC only eat at the table. No drinks or food elsewhere. Water bottles stop spills.

You sound like a lovely person, even in a really awkward embarrassing difficult expensive time, you're not coming across at all defensive. You're saying maybe I didn't do the good job I thought I did. So many people would react with extreme defensiveness.

Moving is stressful enough and young kids are HARD WORK! Mine are 16 and 19 now but will I ever forget! NO. Once I took my eye off them and they decided to make a blue cake. OMG I still feel terrible about how upset I got (with them).

You sound like a vile human being tbh but as long as you've got sparkling kitchen cupboards, who cares eh? 🤷🏻‍♀️ You do you sunshine... 👍

I think most owners expect you to leave their property in the same condition as it was when you came in. If you don't feel capable of cleaning to that standard you can contact an agency specialized in end-of-rent cleaning. My daughter did that, she hired a once-of cleaner for a deep-cleaning of the house they left. It's normal an owner lets you use the property but not devaluate it. As for your children, it would be best if you tought them how to eat without making a mess. If you're unsure how to teach them in a pedagogical way then maybe ask other parents how they do this. And yes you could up your cleaning-game. Lots of tips&tricks online!

I can’t really decide if you ABU or not because you haven’t actually said what the landlady was complaining about. Did your children break anything ? Was there stains on carpets? because they cost a lot to replace. Was there damage to the walls that would call for redecorating? Was any furniture broken that would cost to be replaced? If not I would say YANBU. If it’s just general dust or crumbs on the carpet that need a hoover up then I wouldn’t worry. If it’s any of the above apologise offer to pay and forget about it. Don’t dwell on it what’s done is done.

Almost 5k? Ignore her.

How close to how you found it did you leave it?

Why? Op knew what the rental costs were when she signed the contract.

Also a thought this person is a sort of feebreeze air freshener everything smelling of cleaning products. I’m not into artificial smells so more non bio. A little soap water not loads of spray, bleach etc .

What has that got to do with it?

This is nonsense OP

Doesn't matter what you're into. Surely you use what is needed to clean somebody's house before leaving it having rented it for months? The rent is insanely high, but you agreed to it at the time.

How can you say the rent is “insanely high” when you don’t know location ? Short term let in Kensington for 2 months for £5k would be bargain of the century

I think this is more of a “live and learn” experience. It would have been better to have paid someone to clean for you rather than trying to do it all yourself when you were also busy with buying a house.

At this point, you just need to apologise and move on. I’m sure the home owner has now corrected any messes.

@Nogg , well, if your children are very messy "a little soap and water" would never clean the place now would it? I agree on natural cleaning products, but a lot of water and soap is needed to really clean a messy place. And different kinds of soap, and sponges and brushes for the sofa. Just a quick wipe over the most obvious surfaces is most definitely nót cleaning!

Cheeky sod! It’s a bloody holiday let and she expected some kind of deep clean before you moved out?! What an absolute piss take. I wouldn’t be embarrassed, I’d be annoyed at her rudeness and entitlement. Holiday guests aren’t there to pay her ridiculous sums of money to rent her place and then deep clean it for her. If she can’t handle that and get a cleaner like most people do, then she needs to stop renting it out.

They can expect what they like, but when I’m paying ridiculous Airbnb prices as well as a cleaning fee, they can fucking whistle! It’s a holiday let, not a prison.

Hiya, honestly I think the best thing to do which you probably already have, is apologise. Explain that you thought you had left it how you found it, and maybe ask them to elaborate so you can be aware next time what to take more care over.
Kids do leave mess and when you go somewhere to stay you do find you take even more care than at home I think.
Obviously you clean and tidy at home but I feel you have to do another once over before you check out of somewhere else just to be sure it is as you found it.
I know the feeling of being mortified however as we moved out of our house recently and cleaned top to bottom and removed anything that shouldn't be left. However found out they have recently asked for a deep clean following recent refurbishment... I think that in the back of my mind I am worried we missed something but then have to remind myself that they have lived there a little while now and will be making it their own and have their own ways they want it. So just detaching myself as best I can.
So I suppose the best thing to do now is just think how you can improve on stuff going forward. We've tried to do that ourselves so more meals at the table now we have space, brought more storage so mess isn't left out. Use time more wisely and take it ins turns to do jobs so things aren't so difficult all in one big cleaning session. However this didn't stop turning my back the other day and finding our toddler had tried to draw a height chart in permanent marker (from moving boxes) down the newly painted white wall... Cue manic clean and paint touch up!
But yeah long story short don't be too hard on yourself maybe ask for a bit more info. Know you're not alone and we can all take tips on how to do things a bit differently next time x

@Nogg why don't you tell/show us what exactly was not up to the owner's standards? Are we discussing stuff like fingerprints on the windowsill here? Or is this about dried-in yoghurt on the couch and encrusted Play-Do in the carpets? To me that would be a big difference 🤷🏼‍♀️

So you used " a little soap and water" for your very messy destructive childrens mess?
You don't use sprays at all?

Of course the landlady sent you a text! KI can only imagine the state you left it in....

I mean in general I don’t use a lot of chemicals. This ladies flat smelt strongly of conditioner, feebreze and fragrance etc. So it’s a different approach to “fresh smelling”I personally hate the smell of chemical air fresheners which im
sure are bad for you so don’t use them. Of course I did clean the kitchen /bathroom toilets with cleaner etc. I didn’t let the kids wear shoes inside. No carpet was damaged etc, apparently may have left kids socks under bed and things like this by mistake. One( IKEA cheap) bowl was broken. Not sure the hoover was very effective

This often happens

the op starts so profoundly upset and guilty, but as soon as anyone says - well yes actually - it does sound like you were unreasonable - the op retorts with a load of detail as to why she most definitely wasn’t unreasonable and anyone who thinks otherwise is plain wrong

Oh for goodness sake. A broken IKEA bowl after a 2 month let? Really not a big deal. We Quite often glasses are smashed on holiday lets. It’s not a problem and is always factored in the rental cost. Which is why most tableware is from IKEA.

I mean. She could take £1 off the deposit for the broken bowl. And factor in the hassle of picking up a child’s sock.