It sounds as if this wasn’t a standard holiday let. Such a place is fully furnished and would usually have a hoover. However, a standard rental property probably wouldn’t and a tenant would provide their own.
When you leave a holiday place, there’s a tight turn around of a few hours. You’re expected to have washed up, swept up or hoovered major debris, but it’s usually expected that a cleaner will wash the floors and hoover and whizz round doing a basic clean in an hour or two. You wouldn’t expect to need to do a deep clean after only a week. Holiday makers don’t expect to do deep cleaning and spend hours on it before they leave, but food on the floor etc, overflowing bins are not expected either.
Rental properties are different. There’s a tenancy agreement and cleaning to a decent standard is expected…and you’d expect to use your own hoover and cleaning stuff. You’d expect to have paid a deposit and there to be an inventory and part if the deposit could be withheld for leaving for example, really greasy disgusting cooker and hood, damaged carpets beyond wear and tear, dirty curtains etc.
This seems to have fallen between a basic holiday weekly let where everything is provided, and a more typical longer term tenancy.
Either way, small children are messy but parents have to clear up after them. Having a small messy child doesn’t justify leaving a mess behind, even though sorting it out is difficult. It’s what parents do.
And I take exception to the word ‘shaming’ - this is used correctly as a way of suggesting that someone has been told off unreasonably and made to feel small beyond the thing they have done. It doesn’t apply to a case where someone has simply had a fact pointed out to them. Op did leave the place in a mess. That seems to be a fact. She wasn’t shamed in terms of personal comments being made, nor about her as a mother. It is her own attitude and failure to actually take responsibility for the actions and mess of her children, and not liking being called out on it, and an attempt to shift the focus of blame that results in the use of ‘shaming’ here. The LL was not wrong to comment on it. She did not shame the Op.
The Q is what the OP will do now. Will she reply and apologise at the very least, and think about how she can do better in future? Will she offer to pay for cleaning or offer to go back? Ie will she take responsibility and rectify her error? Or will she decide the owner was in the wrong for contacting her and that she herself is the victim here? That’s what some people do and why there is over-use of the word shaming - it’s often as excuse for bad behaviours and an excuse not to do anything about a situation and to allow oneself to develop a victim mentality. Unfortunately, many people often jump on he bandwagon and declare ‘shaming’ has happened too and we have a society which is heading towards no-one being allowed to speak a fact which is at all critical, and the idea that no-one should ever have to hear a hard fact or critical point about themselves. None of it bodes well for a future if resilient and responsible people.