To think some people come on Mumsnet solely to be the utter bitches they can't get away with being in real life.

[SynchOrSwim]

I just see so many posts where people seem to do everything they can to make others feel as small and stupid as possible.

I know there will be disagreement and debate on here but some people are so unnecessarily nasty they're like panto villains!

I've considered coming off MN too but when it's good it's great and really makes me chuckle.

If I want some mumsnet advice I mostly Google first to find old threads on the topic!

@SynchOrSwim that's exactly what I do!

Agree

Totally agree OP. It's a good reminder that there are actually a lot of really nasty people out there who have nothing better to do than criticise and tear down other people. It's really very sad.

This big girl (or boy) pants thing is so annoying. I’ve only just quite recently come across the phrase and don’t really like it. It’s patronising and can minimise the stress the poster is feeling.

You are right.

I was just sat here thinking people are so mean and miserly i cannot imagine they interact like that in real life.

Theres absolutely no way they'd have the stones to talk to anyone the way they do on here.

big fakers.

Nice to see the misogynists have arrived. It's impossible to have a thread on AIBU without them and they would love if everyone left MN. They think if MN didn't exist, women wouldn't know the meaning of sex 😄

As for not starting threads, what's interesting is if you do advance search on the gfs, they're starting lots of threads every week and posting on many more. They're putting a lot of effort into being arsy. Regularly use sexist slurs against women. Know nothing about parenting and safeguarding. I'm not sure why MN doesn't ban them.

I have made a subsequent post.

It's so true. Sometimes I think, whoah, what is going on here. A poster comes to the board with a problem that is really upsetting her and she's told it's all her own fault basically. Just what is the point.

As in life, there are some posters who feel buoyed up by upsetting people. That makes them feel a little less insignificant.

I do often wonder if some of the posters are actually incels.

I really don't see that.

Posters writing about challenging life events such as you describe almost always have support & practical advice.

Yes, I've seen less supportive threads but often responding to a goady OP.

I have just read a thread where the OP posted about a financial mistake she has made, and the replies are both kind & sensible.

The idea of starting a thread terrifies me

I started a thread and there were some decent posters giving good replies but there were some that didn’t even answer my AIBU question but kept asking questions to try and catch me out or find something to have a go at.

They would literally change what I said and then posters underneath then wouldn’t read all of my posts but instead read that their posts which implied I’d said something which I hadn’t and then pile on themselves.

It got so bad that I came off the thread and then they were messaging me privately being bitches so I changed my name as I couldn’t be bothered with it.

I reacted to the irritation of these threads appearing several times a week but I could have made my point differently

I agree. These 'why can't everyone be nice' (with poor examples that I do not see) are here daily atm.

When I see shitty unwarranted replies, I report them. I do this quite a lot. A lot get deleted. That's how to address it.

Yes I’ve thought this. Mostly seems to be related to projecting mummy/daddy/step or hubby issues of their own that I assume no one supports or agrees with in real life. The amount of ‘divorce/leave immediately after one relatively minor or trivial issue’ is quite astounding!

I have to agree, it does feel worse. I was reading the thread this morning by a woman who was disappointed that in moving back her family weren't more interested in spending time with them. She was clearly really sad and almost all the replies were just so mean.
I think people get off on saying things they would never say in real life and laying into people. It just makes most threads very unpleasant to read.

Oh absolutely. There are clearly some horrible people who must spend their whole days wanting to be nasty to their workmates/their family/other school mums/their neighbours etc but they don't have the nerve to so they come on mumsnet to be horrible to strangers behind the safety of a keyboard.

Like you, calling posters bitches?

Only the ones who are being bitches.

Like you, calling posters bitches?

Calling someone who is nasty/bullying a bitch - who cares? If you're nasty to people then you are rightly called that. The only people who'd be offended by this are rude fuckers who know that it applies to them, right?

I agree op and a lot of people with intransigent viewpoints seem to take delight in hounding posters who have the temerity to disagree with them!

I was a sahm for a while and defended that position and got absolutely hounded in a sahp v wohm thread; those are absolutely vicious! There are definitely people on those threads with very specific agendas.

Blimey! High horse or what?

OP. I think you are right. A lot of these really unnecessarily nasty posters are probably really fake nicey nice in real life. In fact I have read a few fascinating threads on here where people admit just that. I found it fascinating and now, whenever that super nice colleague at work, who can't do enough for you comes over, I'm wondering what she is really thinking 🤔

I almost wish it was true that a lot of posters here make themselves out to be more strident bitchy types than they are in real life because I don't like the thought that so many real life women actually are this bitchy. Last time I was here everyone was applauding someone for telling her MIL to f*ck off , ( admittedly I did have some degree of sympathy for the poster) and today I find the post was deleted so I'm glad about that. I see no reason to be proud of saying that to anybody. If people could just sit down, listen to some music or just tell their other half what the problem was, we wouldn't need to witness all this full-on bitch-fest. I guess the drama is part of the appeal. Maybe.

I think a lot of angry men come here to demean women. You'd be surprised how may om there are .

I find it quite shocking to see people being called bitches on here. I don’t heard I know in real life using the word so perhaps MN is a lot more harsh or perhaps my world is quite sheltered.